I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

I'd rather be dead than think about death

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.