I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.


Jon Stewart

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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
JON STEWART
I always thought Jon Stewart was an extremely good surgeon with his scalpel. He would have Republica...
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Jon Stewart says that he was a little kid with a big head. He had very little athletic ability. He w...
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The first time I met Jon Stewart was at the press conference that Comedy Central held to announce Jo...
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We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you're bummin...
TUCKER CARLSON
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction...
JON STEWART
I wouldn't expect a hack writer who looks like a bad case of hemorrhoids to say anything interesting...
STEVE IVERSON
I was born a character actor.
CHARLES DURNING
By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER
I'm sorry, but I was born with a towel on my head.
CHARLES OLSON
Poetry, the genre of purest beauty, was born of a truncated woman: her head severed from her body wi...
ANDREA DWORKIN
I thought of myself as an adult trapped in a kid's body. Had I known what adulthood was like, I ...
GABY HOFFMANN
Jon Stewart and George Clooney made a skit in my bed and my bedroom ... (that) will be on the Academ...
DORIS PINTER
I do think there is a 15-year-old boy in that character, but with the power of an adult.
DAVID SHORE
Daring to dream is not difficult, it's making them come true that is hard...
NANETTE L. AVERY
Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It...
DICK VAN DYKE
I was so lucky because what I did in 'Thor' was I built the character from the ground up - t...
TOM HIDDLESTON
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
DOLLY PARTON
It's not a character flaw to become an adult.
KENNETH LONERGAN
It's funny, I used to do a character that was just a baby - just an adult baby. I would get up o...
JOHN GEMBERLING
I have risen to a body not yet born, existing like a light around a body through which the body move...
ROBERT BLY
I'm a thinker. That is what I do, in great depth and detail, every waking moment of the day. I like ...
BRIAN HERBERT
Unification of differences is power.
SHESH NATH VERNWAL
The first two albums, I think I was a young adult, ... Now I definitely feel like an adult. I feel l...
TONI BRAXTON
I was born in Bournemouth, England, in 1943.
J. PHILIPPE RUSHTON
I was born in a blender.
LORNA LUFT
I was born 'neath a clouded star.
JULIA WARD HOWE
I wasn't born a redhead, but I was born to be a redhead.
GEORGETTE MOSBACHER
I was born to be funny.
BUDDY HACKETT
I was born in Palo Alto, California in 1961.
ERIC ALLIN CORNELL
In September 2005, I was three things: the media blogger for 'FishbowlNY,' a maniacal Daily ...
RACHEL SKLAR
I watch Jon Stewart because I need to laugh. Otherwise, life gets too serious. Besides that, I don&#...
BRUCE LIPTON
You know nothing, Jon Snow.
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
I certainly feel that an adult woman has a right to determine what happens to her life and body.
CALVIN KLEIN
I was born in Philadelphia and currently live in Minneapolis. I write for both children and adults.
KATE DICAMILLO
Our end goal -- I'll stop the show and die a happy man -- is if we could get Larry J. Sabato and Jon...
JOSH CINCINNATI
When he started, Christopher was really like a kid. He's had, over the years, more and more adult re...
MICHAEL IMPERIOLI
As our larynxes descended, we were able to make sounds with our mouths in new and far more expressiv...
JON STEWART
It's kinda me and Jon Stewart have a pact together - so he's making me famous in the Western...
BASSEM YOUSSEF
It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of th...
CONAN O'BRIEN
It's hard to believe that professional entertainers could have put together a show less entertaining...
TOM SHALES
I look at improvising as a prolonged game of chess. There's an opening gambit with your pawn in ...
STEVE CARELL
Being body positive is really important to your overall happiness. It's hard to see someone with...
SABRINA CARPENTER
I was born in August, no July, 1908.
SATCHEL PAIGE
I was born in the technology era.
MALUMA
I was born with an evil face.
BARRY SLOANE
I was born in 1953, so that's the Eisenhower administration.
LINCOLN CHAFEE
By ancestry, I was born to rule.
NELSON MANDELA
I was born in Homestead, Florida.
CHRISSY METZ
I was born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii.
STEVE CASE
I was born in a slum, but the slum wasn't born in me.
JESSE JACKSON
I was born into a family of preachers.
DAVID SOUL
Leadership is something I was born with.
CARMELO ANTHONY
He was a bit mad I think. He would go hunting with machine guns and things like that. He was an odd ...
NICK MCCARTHY
If you treat a sick child like an adult and a sick adult like a child, everything usually works out ...
RUTH CARLISLE
Obedience is bondage, if God wants to be adored he should make himself more loving.
LAURA WHITCOMB
If thinking is your fate, revere this fate with divine honour and sacrifice to it the best, the most...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
Life is a divine blessing for those who live life to add values in the lives of others.
SEEMA BRAIN OPENERS
O why was I born with a different face?
Why was I not born like rest of my race?
O! why was I born with a different face? / Why was I not born like the rest of my race?
WILLIAM BLAKE
It's hard to see someone with a 'perfect' body and be like, 'Why can't I be like...
SABRINA CARPENTER
I think I'm a tiny bit like Harry 'cos I'd like to have an owl. Yeah, that's the tiny bit, actually.
DANIEL RADCLIFFE
Character isn't something you were born with and can't change, like your fingerprints. It's somethin...
JIM ROHN
I'll take it like an adult. I made a mistake and I accept it.
FABIEN PELOUS
Some, like Mother Teresa, are born with a gene to help the poor, and some are born with a gene to wr...
FRANK MCCOURT
My favorite off-camera memory of Jon Stewart is watching him jump from the second level of a tuna to...
STEPHEN COLBERT
An ugliness unfurled in the moonlight and soft shadow and suffused the whole world. If I were an amo...
YUKIO MISHIMA
If I had to name my favorite media personality, it would be a tie between Jon Stewart and Trey Parke...
R. J. CUTLER
My waist used to be tiny. I just saw a picture of Miley Cyrus with a little crop top and low pants, ...
CAMILA ALVES
When you are called for a great duty because you have been given a great ability, do your very best ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH
The Baha'i celebrity, or the Belebrity, is a character actor with a big head playing an annoying...
RAINN WILSON
I am still bowled over by this great young adult novel by David Levithan called 'Every Day,'...
JOHN GREEN
That means I was born with all the bones in my head grown together. I had to have two operations whe...
CARA NESS
That means I was born with all the bones in my head grown together. I had to have two operations whe...
CARA VAN NESS
I look like this for a reason. I was born this way. It was God-given.
CANELO ALVAREZ
I feel like a tiny bird with a big song!
JERRY VAN AMERONGEN
The great advantage of having a bear as a central character is that he can combine the innocence of ...
MICHAEL BOND
Once I got my driver's license everybody treated me like I was an adult.
CANDACE CAMERON
No human can bury their past indefinitely. It’s only a matter of time before you crack.
K.A. TUCKER
Well, I was born in Miami, and then I lived for a long time in Tallahassee, and before that, Winter ...
CHERYL HINES
I was born to hit a baseball. I can hit a baseball.
BARRY BONDS
I am not afraid... I was born to do this.
JOAN OF ARC
I feel like trouble has followed me from the day I was born.
NATALIA KILLS
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he&...
NORM MACDONALD
I like boys. I am not foreign; I was born and raised in Hickory County, Mo.
SALLY RAND
When a lot of voices, make up a noise, the man who is silent represents a voice.
APURVA GAGLANI
He was like a chameleon, an amazing character comedian,
BARRY CRYER
My father was so good-natured and had such a happy disposition. I've always confused him with Ji...
JANE PAULEY
I was a little adult for my age as a teenager, and I didn't feel like I socially fit in with my ...
RACHEL MINER
I don’t know what message to send to Bran. Help him Tyrion.”
“What help could I give him?...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
The last episode of Dallas was in '1991.' Unfortunately, it was a terrible episode to end th...
PATRICK DUFFY
I often feel like a character actress trapped inside the mean, aging Barbie's body.
BETTY GILPIN
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
WILSON MIZNER
I was born as a soldier and will die as one.
MUSTAFA KEMAL ATATURK
I was born and bred to be a great flirt.
CYBILL SHEPHERD
I was born with a fierce need for independence.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS
I was born to travel and write verse.
THEOPHILE GAUTIER
As I was born to be unfortunate, my sun soon clouded.
DEBORAH SAMPSON
Beirut is where I was born and raised.
REEM ACRA
I vehemently deny that I was born a cynic and a pessimist.
J. PAUL GETTY

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Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
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Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and...
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Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand g...
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Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunishe...
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GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of th...
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You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were sw...
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Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana...
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, th...
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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if...
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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house...
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We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings d...
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I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.
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Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle betwe...
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I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doe...
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually c...
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There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating ...
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The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determine...
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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As a performer, I'm truly honored to be hosting the show. Although, as an avid watcher of the Oscars...
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Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork.
I'm sorry, what was that la...
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I always knew I shouldn't have said that.
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Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fat...
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That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps...
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I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the...
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I can't emphasize this enough.
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I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and sa...
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I was born in New York City, but I was raised in New Jersey, part of the great Jewish emigration of ...
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If you try to hit a grand slam, you're going to strike out.
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Germany didn't want to got to war (in Iraq). I don't know how to say it any more simply than that.
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When you're accustomed to doing stand-up, so often you're the only person onstage and it's all your ...
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We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been loo...
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No. I'm not going to be your monkey.
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Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the '90s as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the Internationa...
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Ultimately, people would respond a lot better to being treated like adults ... if politics wasn't tr...
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"Shnicks," we call it shnicks -- shnicks and giggles.
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It has been eleven days, Stephen, eleven fucking days! Eleven! The presidency is supposed to age the...
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Wow. I can't wait till later when we see Oscar's salute to montages.
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If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
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Too Late
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Getting between him and his fans -- I don?t think it?s the P. I think it?s the bodyguards,
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[IN THE SIX-AND-A-HALF YEARS since he took over] The Daily Show, ... The Late Late Show.
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How come they're the most excited people here tonight?
JON STEWART
How come they are the most excited people here? That's how you pick up an Oscar.
JON STEWART
That's how you accept an Oscar.
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And so I appreciate that, and I thank you for it. And I hope that your colleagues let you still eat ...
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Tremendous film. The acting. The cinematography.
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I have some sad news to report, Bjork could not be here tonight -- she was trying on her Oscar dress...
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The field of play has become seriously unleveled as a result of the current rules. Our member school...
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blam...
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I don't file reports anymore. I do movies,
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but - and I don't want to be crass here - isn't a hurricane an act of God? Shouldn't we have a day o...
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I don't know that much about women,
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You're dealing with a show where the lead character is making the irritating and uncomfortable choic...
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If I had to go out there and surf, that would be a problem. But you know, it's just comedy.
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You're killing me here. Are you freaking out on us? Are you going into crazy-base world?
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We had a real good December. Consumers didn't appear to be holding back at the pump.
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Hollander said. ''He suggested maybe making four or five alternatives.
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Brown was nominated to the post by President Bush in 2003, ... And (he) intends to start the job any...
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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The way that he feels about Johnny Carson is the way that all of us, the comedians of our era, feel ...
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Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legali...
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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of ...
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The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart b...
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And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's b...
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Sheep are not considered the most intelligent animals but British scientist say humans may have unde...
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I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to t...
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You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.
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The top story, as always, is America remaining obsessed, fascinated -- appalled -- by what is now be...
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Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
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Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not...
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If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, bu...
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Some are from the world of the arts, some from the fields of business, architecture, wine-making and...
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And George Bush hates black --
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If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
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Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote i...
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Don't worry, ... as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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Does anyone know...does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because...uh...yo...
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Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. One difference, and I'll say this, the only diff...
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Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pag...
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I'm 38 and could very much bare my midriff, but it may make some people nauseous.
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I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.
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Don't cross Lorenzo Lamas. Ever.
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to pe...
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He's not stupid ... he's not a retarded man ... he just doesn't give a shit about you, or anything,
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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people ...
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I feel your scorn and I accept it.
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Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork.I'm sorry, what was that last on...
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We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.
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Free time is death to the anxious, and thank goodness I don't have any of it right now.
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As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.
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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride arou...
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Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a...
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If "con" is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just fuckin...
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It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jerse...
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You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is p...
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Attacks on a politician's identity - questioning Romney's religion, say, or Obama's birt...
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No family gets rich from earning the minimum wage. In fact, the current minimum wage does not even l...
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If you want something, you can't wait for someone to make it happen for you.
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I've been fascinated by the world ever since I read 'Kitchen Confidential' by Anthony Bo...
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'Swagger' would be the word for 'Dirt On My Boots.' With the real funky drum loop an...
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I was 22 and had worked on Wall Street for a year, and quit my job. I bought a motorcycle and sort o...
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I'm not going chic, I swear. The geek endures. But, I mean, a snazzy cool suit looks good.
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I saw rock n' roll future and its name is Bruce Springsteen.
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I toured around the country and met all these Broadway producers who put me in all these Neil Simon ...
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I was born in March 1949, a post war baby boomer.
JON ENGLISH
'Just looking at pictures' used to be considered cheating. No longer. The graphic novel is b...
JON SCIESZKA
'The Royals' has emerged as a breakout series that has become one of E Network's highest...
JON FELTHEIMER
A tiny little baby!' says Tam. 'People look at me like I'm an animal. People who don't know me judge...
JON RONSON
I'd like to repeat the advice that I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radic...
JON KRAKAUER
Happiness [is] only real when shared
JON KRAKAUER
It's not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong.
JON KRAKAUER
You can lay down and die, or you can get up and fight, but that's it -- there's no turning back.
JON ENGLISH
Yeah, that's the ticket.
JON LOVITZ
I can't read lips unless they're touching mine.
JON TROAST
James Taylor may be an all-American boy but he isn't Horatio Alger, and the lionizing of many ro...
JON LANDAU
Words without deeds is an affront to the principle that guides our Nation and makes a mockery of the...
JON CORZINE
Some people think we're adrift without any guidelines. I don't. I think we've had instru...
JON VOIGHT
I would still rather be in Silicon Alley. I like the West Coast also, but it's sort of fragmente...
JON ORINGER
I am a huge admirer of Franklin Roosevelt's, and I believe social security has done untold good ...
JON MEACHAM
Among the many problems with taking the Bible literally is it reduces the most mysterious and comple...
JON MEACHAM
Goats are the cable talk show panelists of the animal world, ready at a moment's notice to inter...
JON KATZ
One wonders whether the Obama re-election campaign may be on the right track as it seeks to apply th...
JON MEACHAM
'Sing It Again Rod' touches all the solo bases since Stewart's departure from the Jeff B...
JON LANDAU
I like hearing fiddles, steel guitar, acoustics up loud - really rock & roll stuff but with a co...
JON PARDI
If a person is homosexual by nature - that is, if one's sexuality is as intrinsic a part of one&...
JON MEACHAM
If I were in a situation where I had to meet a pack of wolves and my family is with me, I'm goin...
JON SEDA
I like San Francisco, but I don't think I'd want to work in Palo Alto. It seems like a prett...
JON ORINGER
When I went to Everest, I underestimated things. I just didn't know what altitude could do. Or t...
JON KRAKAUER
With tens of thousands of patients dying every year from preventable medical errors, it is imperativ...
JON PORTER
Some people say that their pets will tell them when it's time to go. I don't believe that. N...
JON KATZ
A border collie named Orson inspired me to buy a 110-acre farm with four barns and a sheep. That led...
JON KATZ
If you're going to love animals and have a life with them, the odds are you're going to lose...
JON KATZ
Some rescue groups are highly organized, experienced, well-funded, nearly professional. Others are s...
JON KATZ
It's easy to see why dog rescue is a mushrooming culture. Turning a troubled person's life a...
JON KATZ
Lifetime dogs intersect with our lives with particular impact; they're dogs we love in especiall...
JON KATZ