I was born to be a fighter. But being a fighter does not mean that I have to live in rage. When I fight, I live in my emotions. But maybe... my emotions don't have to trap me anymore.

You're his beacon of light. You give him a sense of direction in his life. A purpose. But is it worth it? Just being his friend? Not being able to love him the way you want to?

It takes a lot of willpower to forgive someone. It takes a lot of strength to let the anger go and live without it. Forgiveness is not for the weak. It's for the strong. And I'm strong. I didn't used to be, but now I think I am.

Apakah ada yang tahu bagaimana rasanya mencintai seseorang yang tidak boleh dicintai? Aku tahu. Hidup ini sungguh aneh, juga tidak adil. Suatu kali hidup melambungkanmu setinggi langit, kali lainnya hidup menghempaskanmu begitu keras ke bumi. Ketika aku menyadari dialah satu-satunya yang paling kubutuhkan dalam hidup ini, kenyataan berteriak di telingaku dia juga satu-satunya orang yang tidak boleh kudapatkan.

The only one taking a risk here is me, if I get too attached to you.
It’s not risky for you, as long as you’re not confused either.”
“I’m not.”
“Of course you aren’t.” A small smile played on Balthazar’s lips.

But to pretend that all was right with the world, I first had to know what was wrong.