Jimmy Fallon quote: "I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.
JIMMY FALLON

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader...
JIMMY FALLON

I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at ...
JIMMY FALLON

'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wron...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plat...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're i...
JIMMY FALLON

Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happen...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you reall...
JIMMY FALLON

There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks you...
JIMMY FALLON

I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smarte...
JIMMY FALLON

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
JIMMY FALLON

I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.
JIMMY FALLON

I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.
JIMMY FALLON

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another tr...
JIMMY FALLON

I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.
JIMMY FALLON

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of ...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm...
JIMMY FALLON

I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.
JIMMY FALLON

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way...
JIMMY FALLON

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
JIMMY FALLON

L.A., it's nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I th...
JIMMY FALLON

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dang...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
JIMMY FALLON

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
JIMMY FALLON

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.
JIMMY FALLON

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relative...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for be...
JIMMY FALLON

I like being absurd. Being silly.
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you... 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like ...
JIMMY FALLON

People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn't the most popular kid. I wasn't t...
JIMMY FALLON

I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back an...
JIMMY FALLON

My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the...
JIMMY FALLON

Hey baby, do you like fine cooking? Cause you know what? I got Swanson's Dinner in the freezer with ...
JIMMY FALLON

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with m...
JIMMY FALLON

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I´d have an excuse.
JIMMY FALLON

Don't Keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no ...
JIMMY FALLON

I often try to reassure myself by saying, "Well, at least it can´t get any worse." But the truth is...
JIMMY FALLON

Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, pr...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you... Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it's just like the iPhone except i...
JIMMY FALLON

I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the M...
JIMMY FALLON

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.
JIMMY FALLON

On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to ...
JIMMY FALLON

You can't reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at 'Late Night,' we w...
JIMMY FALLON

I´m starting to think that I´m the butt of a joke the whole world is in on.
JIMMY FALLON

Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for govern...
JIMMY FALLON

The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, t...
JIMMY FALLON

YOU can wear him to anything. From casual to evening.
JIMMY FALLON

It makes me nervous seeing a 20-foot me, like I'm getting too big or something, ... Not that I mind ...
JIMMY FALLON

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.
JIMMY FALLON

I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memori...
JIMMY FALLON

I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'...
JIMMY FALLON

New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encou...
JIMMY FALLON

They say a dog is a man´s best friend.
That´s if you´re lucky enough to get one of those "fri...
JIMMY FALLON

I often try to reassure myself by saying, "Well, at least it can´t get any worse." But the truth is...
JIMMY FALLON

A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted S...
JIMMY FALLON

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I´d have an excuse.
JIMMY FALLON

My wife and I got engaged in New Hampshire at this lake house that her family's had forever, and...
JIMMY FALLON

They say a dog is a man´s best friend.That´s if you´re lucky enough to get one of those "friendly...
JIMMY FALLON

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot....
JIMMY FALLON

I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff's going to be dra...
JIMMY FALLON

Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for go...
JIMMY FALLON

Thank you... preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the re...
JIMMY FALLON

There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's ro...
JIMMY FALLON

The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving the...
JIMMY FALLON

We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you'...
JIMMY FALLON

I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox...
JIMMY FALLON

My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things - so we had a surro...
JIMMY FALLON

When I was a kid, you would tune in to 'The Tonight Show' before you went to sleep. Johnny C...
JIMMY FALLON

Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.
JIMMY FALLON

Love is never worth giving up on.
LEIGH FALLON

Based on objective tests of physical impairment, we found that the patients had levels of functional...
BRIAN FALLON

The recent availability of 100 percent mortgages and low interest rates means that it is easier than...
BRIAN FALLON

unfortunately for many patients it's not the final answer, because some will get better and then rel...
BRIAN FALLON

He's been very forthright on that.
BRIAN FALLON

The mayor believes that those meetings are about getting things done, not about political bickering.
BRIAN FALLON

Not funding the police department does not make you a friend to the taxpayer. It makes you irrespons...
BRIAN FALLON

This is going to sound crazy, but... from the moment I first set eyes on you I haven't been able to ...
LEIGH FALLON

I don't think I have ever ridden a horse with that turn of foot. I was on a horse that was good enou...
KIEREN FALLON

It seems like every game we've played with Jefferson has been hard-fought. There's lots of hitting, ...
FALLON MCCLANAHAN

There was something about other people's grief that was so exposing, so personal, that she felt she ...
JANE FALLON

There are probably about 50 to 55 that are still in their leather case with the Homestead logo on th...
MARK FALLON

We took our shot. We need to unhitch it.
DAN FALLON

I'm planning to win, but if I don't, I'm confident that the volume of support I have received will s...
ED FALLON

I want to see Republicans and sometimes Democrats stop using the immigrant community as a punching b...
ED FALLON

I'm concerned about what happened in South Dakota. The government needs to stay out of people's priv...
ED FALLON

What are you trying to protect heterosexual marriages from? There isn't a limited amount of love in ...
ED FALLON

You don't have to accept the invitation to get angry. Instead, practice forgiveness, empathy and enc...
DAN FALLON

If the worm allowed too much inflammation it might kill the host, so the worm has evolved to reduce ...
PADRAIC FALLON

A mile and a quarter (2 km) here, uphill, was always going to suit him.
KIEREN FALLON

These executives have irreparably violated the public trust.
ED FALLON

To say I was surprised at the events that unfolded is putting it mildly,
KIEREN FALLON

What I was really looking for was something more sincere, something real for this moment.
FALLON STUBBS

I have learned to be a tolerant person because of you. Today, for me, I forgive you. I accept you. I...
FALLON STUBBS

In all honesty, Mr. Rudolph, I would not be who I am today without you. I have learned to be a toler...
FALLON STUBBS

I don't think I could have gotten any better of a draw. I saw Carlson this weekend and they're prett...
FALLON MCCLANAHAN

It was neck and neck all night long. We had leads of 24-21 and they would rally back. We just could ...
FALLON MCCLANAHAN

Overall, we played pretty good. I think we battled. We've lost a lot of close games this year.
FALLON MCCLANAHAN

After a slow start, I kind of got my focus back. We started out slow in the beginning, but my team p...
FALLON LUMPKIN

Being in close games helps me stay focused. It helps me pitch better and keeps the pressure on me.
FALLON LUMPKIN

My teammates played good defense behind me as they always do. It was a really good team effort. I di...
FALLON LUMPKIN

A teacher's role is to be informative, but not persuasive. They need to talk to students. They need ...
GAYLE FALLON

It's another silver bullet that someone is going to use to fix education.
GAYLE FALLON

On our campuses where there is no tolerance for it, we have no problem. Unfortunately, looking at th...
GAYLE FALLON

They don't pay their bills with bonuses. They pay their bills with salaries.
GAYLE FALLON

Unfortunately, school systems are more often concerned with how their retention numbers look instead...
GAYLE FALLON

There are no second chances on this or we could see our schools out of control.
GAYLE FALLON

Yesterday took away the opportunity to pretend there was no problem.
GAYLE FALLON

That's what I've always strived for, every day, for all of these years.
JACKIE FALLON

These wolves are completely terrified of us. They need to be. If they have even a chance at survival...
JACKIE FALLON

I know the group was surprised to hear how we feel about trapping. And they are surprised that we bo...
JACKIE FALLON

Where wolves live largely depends on human tolerance. Wolf recovery in some ways is more about peopl...
JACKIE FALLON

That's exactly how we want them to be. A wolf not scared of people is a dead wolf.
JACKIE FALLON

I'll probably start going to Kenney Gym more now that the hours are extended. It's a lot closer to t...
JOE FALLON

I was still a little rusty coming back from break in yesterday's game. I felt a lot sharper tonight ...
JOE FALLON

It seems that the school has been keeping students up-to-date. Most people already know about the ch...
JOE FALLON

Being that I was raised in the Catholic faith, I am very careful about what I choose. I've turne...
SIOBHAN FALLON HOGAN

During my senior year, I was supposed to spend a semester student teaching, but decided I couldn'...
SIOBHAN FALLON HOGAN

While the concert in and of itself is exciting and the potential endowment dollars are exciting, eve...
DR. SIDNEY FALLON

My father was one of 11. He was an attorney. My mother worked for the Syracuse newspaper as a column...
SIOBHAN FALLON HOGAN

Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.
JIMMY DEAN

We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles.
JIMMY CARTER

No matter what Sarah Palin and these geniuses she surrounds herself with try to tell you, climate ch...
JIMMY KIMMEL

I believe every guitar player inherently has something unique about their playing. They just have to...
JIMMY PAGE

I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.
JIMMY KIMMEL

Poverty was the greatest motivating factor in my life.
JIMMY DEAN

Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down.
JIMMY DURANTE

I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email an...
JIMMY KIMMEL

A fundamentalist can't bring himself or herself to negotiate with people who disagree with them ...
JIMMY CARTER

I have a lot of stories to tell because I've been down a lot of roads people haven't been.
JIMMY WALKER

To deal with individual human needs at the everyday level can be noble sometimes.
JIMMY CARTER

There are no right and wrong ways to work in this business, but there are some basic common-sense pr...
JIMMY SMITS

Those of Manhattan are the brokers on Wall Street and they talk of people who went to the same colle...
JIMMY BRESLIN

Over four or five years, I did six albums with three people: John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, and Pat...
JIMMY IOVINE

Bruce Springsteen gave people faith in rock & roll and in themselves again.
JIMMY IOVINE

My life changed because Bruce Springsteen got on a mic in front of me.
JIMMY IOVINE

Donald Trump handles these nitwit reporters with a new and most disgraceful form of bribery.
JIMMY BRESLIN

I was brought up in the Boys' Brigade and grew up not swearing. It's so lovely to behave dec...
JIMMY HILL

The music business used to carry a certain amount of brotherly love, but it isn't that way now.
JIMMY RUSHING

I was a hard-workin' little boy. Oh, I worked. Pullin' cotton, shockin' grain, cuttin...
JIMMY DEAN

My favorite song? 'Amazing Grace.' Anybody singing it. But the best it'll ever be done i...
JIMMY DEAN

You know you're getting old when you go to more funerals than you do weddings.
JIMMY DEAN

I've seen so many people in this business that made a fortune. They get old and broke and can...
JIMMY DEAN

I used to help my granddaddy make sausage. He would mix it up in a cleaned-out washtub with his hand...
JIMMY DEAN

I made more money yesterday than I ever thought I'd make in an entire lifetime. But it's lik...
JIMMY DEAN

A lot of things I am, and a lot of things I am not. But I think I'm about as good an American as...
JIMMY DEAN

When I was a kid, I used to think, 'Man, if I could ever afford all the ice cream I want to eat,...
JIMMY DEAN

I think the kids in school that laughed at the clothes that we wore and the house that we lived in, ...
JIMMY DEAN

I went further on less talent than anyone, but I was a damned good entertainer.
JIMMY DEAN

Do what you say you're going to do. And try to do it a little better than you said you would.
JIMMY DEAN

Sausage is a great deal like life. You get out of it about what you put into it.
JIMMY DEAN

I definitely feel pressure to keep slim. I don't want to be the guy who lost weight and gained i...
JIMMY KIMMEL

Becoming a parent has changed the risk calculus for me. But it might be age, too, and seeing a lot o...
JIMMY CHIN

People say, 'Are you insane?' But the most successful climbers are the most calculating, wit...
JIMMY CHIN

On Monday and Thursday, I eat fewer than 500 calories a day; then I eat like a pig for the other fiv...
JIMMY KIMMEL

My first guitar was like a campfire guitar. And it was left at a house that my family had moved into...
JIMMY PAGE

Just give me a good role that allows me to hone my craft, and I am a pretty happy camper.
JIMMY SMITS

I think it's prima facie evidence for the existence of God because for me to grow up and actuall...
JIMMY WEBB

I busted out of the place in a hurry and went to a saloon and drank beer and said that for the rest ...
JIMMY BRESLIN

I feel great. I had a triple bypass in 1976 and a quadruple bypass in 1984.
JIMMY PIERSALL

After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the ...
JIMMY CARR

Unfortunately, after Sept. 11, there was an outburst in America of intense suffering and patriotism,...
JIMMY CARTER

Politics, where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president h...
JIMMY BRESLIN

I'm gonna be blunt and plain, if one ever looks at me like that I'm gonna kill him and tell ...
JIMMY SWAGGART

A rat race is for rats. We're not rats. We're human beings. Reject the insidious pressures i...
JIMMY REID

Parliamentarian rules, the rules of the House, how you get bills referred, really the nuts and bolts...
JIMMY GOMEZ

For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?.
JIMMY DEAN

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
JIMMY DEAN

There was promulgation of false propaganda by the administration about the existence of weapons of m...
JIMMY CARTER

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set.
JIMMY CANNON

'Boogie Chillen',' by John Lee Hooker - that is a riff.
JIMMY PAGE

Isolation doesn't bother me at all. It gives me a sense of security.
JIMMY PAGE

When I was still in the Yardbirds, our producer, Mickie Most, would always try to get us to record a...
JIMMY PAGE

If you see a blatant error or misconception about yourself, you really want to set it straight.
JIMMY WALES

I don't want to tell President Obama how to make a speech. He's a much better speech maker t...
JIMMY CARTER

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
JIMMY JOHNSON

Never treat your audience as customers, always as partners.
JIMMY STEWART

We should live our lives as though Christ was coming this afternoon.
JIMMY CARTER

A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm, thoughtful, and restrained. It...
JIMMY CARTER

My vocation is more in composition really than anything else -- building up harmonies using the guit...
JIMMY PAGE

I may have faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
JIMMY HOFFA

The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy that nobody knows wh...
JIMMY BRESLIN

Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.
JIMMY BUFFETT

Some people never find it, some only pretend, but I just want to live happily ever after every now a...
JIMMY BUFFETT

We should live our lives as though Christ were coming this afternoon.
JIMMY CARTER

Our decision about energy will test the character of the American people and the ability of the Pres...
JIMMY CARTER

According to Gandhi, the seven sins are wealth without works, pleasure without conscience, knowledge...
JIMMY CARTER

I thought a lot about our Nation and what I should do as President. And Sunday night before last, I ...
JIMMY CARTER

Well, as you know, there are many things in life that are not fair, that wealthy people can afford a...
JIMMY CARTER

All political power is primarily an illusion. Illusion. Mirrors and blue smoke, beautiful blue smoke...
JIMMY BRESLIN

Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for news...
JIMMY BRESLIN

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
JIMMY DEAN

You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it even better than you think you can.
JIMMY CARTER

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make y...
JIMMY CONNORS

But why should I read what somebody else thinks of my life when I know the real story?
JIMMY CONNORS

I hate to lose more than I love to win.
JIMMY CONNORS

People say I'm around because I have a lot of heart, but I know all the heart in the world couldn't ...
JIMMY CONNORS

Tennis was never work for me, tennis was fun. And the tougher the battle and the longer the match, t...
JIMMY CONNORS

If someone wants a piece of you, never let them pay. What you do not give to them time takes anyway.
JIMMY BUFFETT

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.
JIMMY DURANTE

Jimmy Fallon

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