I wanted it to be the case -- and he ended up having a pretty good first season,


Mark Whipple

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Say the report is exaggerated.
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Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
MARK TWAIN
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN
To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN
Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN
Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN
If you're a big celebrity, you get money to be private. I'm just a working stiff. I don'...
MARK FUHRMAN
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha...
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
MARK TWAIN
Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN
I remember riding my bike down the boardwalk with nowhere to go and looking at the girls. It was rea...
MARK RUFFALO
Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN
Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN
The scientific theroy I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline ...
MARK RUSSELL
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
Here's one of my bad habits: when I go to someone's house, I head straight to their bookshel...
MARK FRAUENFELDER
Whether you do stand-up comedy or write a story, you have a duty to deliver. As a comedian, you walk...
MARK BILLINGHAM
China is responsible for a lot of the major conservation issues we're facing. It's the main ...
MARK CARWARDINE
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
Americans are notoriously ill-equipped for self-reflection. We're usually a very boisterous, out...
MARK FROST
I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN
The turning point for me was when the Supreme Court installed Bush in 2000, even though he got half ...
MARK EDWARDS
A true knowledge of ourselves is knowledge of our power.
MARK RUTHERFORD
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN