I usually try to quote myself, but my editor ends up correcting my punctuation.

Definition of Standards: Something that should be the way I say it should be

Listening to some Grammy award winners acceptance speeches can be like hearing them sing underwater. Ever heard of Toastmasters?

An actor's script is like makeup. It can often mask the blemishes of their speaking skills. Every listen to an Oscar award acceptance?

Clothes: Don't Leave Home Without Them

The optimist says the glass is half full; The security guy says, no glass allowed on the patio!