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I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.


Don Rickles

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Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
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DON RICKLES Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.
DON RICKLES If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can l...
DON RICKLES Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think...
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DON RICKLES Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've ...
DON RICKLES I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I p...
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DON RICKLES Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Di...
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DON RICKLES When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding ...
DON RICKLES The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I...
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DON RICKLES Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bone...
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DON RICKLES Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.
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DON RICKLES After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broad...
DON RICKLES I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever...
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DON RICKLES I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to...
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DON RICKLES I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headli...
DON RICKLES Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
DON RICKLES Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.
DON RICKLES They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be s...
DON RICKLES I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big e...
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DON RICKLES There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm o...
DON RICKLES We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don...
DON RICKLES An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King ...
DON RICKLES The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, ...
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DON RICKLES When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. (o...
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DON MCCULLIN Our Constitution exists to secure individual freedom, the essential condition of human flourishing. ...
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DON HENLEY I didn't just hear music. It seemed as if I were part of the music.
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DON MARQUIS If a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't bump his behind every time he hopped.
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DON KARDONG In the old days, before there was such a thing as film schools, directors learned the camera by watc...
DON AMECHE I could have played more complex stuff. I could have been a busier player. But that's not what I...
DON HENLEY My career is one of people involvement. I'm a promoter of the people, by the people, for the peo...
DON KING If you work for and eventually lead a company, understand that companies have multiple stakeholders ...
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DON SHULA The person who has no enemies has no followers.
DON PIATT There is nothing so habit-forming as money.
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DON MARQUIS So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.
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DON MARQUIS Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
DON MARQUIS When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him whose?
DON MARQUIS Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.
DON MARQUIS The 2 Major US Political parties have divided and conquered the US Voters by making elections about ...
DON MASHAK Speaking to how elections are framed in the USA: It is not Republican vs Democrat, nor Conservative ...
DON MASHAK OZOCRACY - Watch the spectacle (or divisive, polarizing issue) we, the politicians, have created or ...
DON MASHAK Dad wouldn't let me fool with his guitar much, because I'm left-handed, and I'd pick it ...
DON EVERLY Old men need applause too
DON EVERLY Good pitchers, after a tough outing, bounce back. Real good pitchers don't let too many poor gam...
DON COOPER If you make people think they're thinking they'll love you: but if you really make them think, they'...
DON MARQUIS It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
DON HEROLD He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he cou...
DON MARQUIS Life is a campaign not a battle, and has its defeats as well as its victories.
DON PIATT I am just another insect on the windshield of life.
DON MASHAK Speak low if you speak love.
DON PEDRO Get the job done.
DON SHULA Success is not forever and failure isn't fatal.
DON SHULA I never think when I write. Nobody can do two things at the same time and do them well.
DON MARQUIS This is what comes from the wrong kind of attentiveness. People get brain fade. This is because they...
DON DELILLO A naked woman was amazing.

He'd never seen it this way, in full light, without half-off c...
DON DELILLO Throughout History, Empires have persecuted the great agitators; Noah, Socrates, Jesus, Columbus, Vo...
DON MASHAK Doesn't seem quite real. It's not meaningful. I can't quite imagine myself being 73. That's the age ...
DON DELILLO The more connections that can be made in the brain, the more integrated the experience is within mem...
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DON MARQUIS An optimist is a man who has never had much experience.
DON MARQUIS To be great one must be positive and gain strength from your opponents.
DON PIATT Where one door closes, another opens.
DON QUIJOTE Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
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DON HEROLD A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
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DON MARQUIS There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
DON HEROLD We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money...
DON MARQUIS The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
DON HEROLD There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.
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DON DELILLO I think it's only in a crisis that Americans see other people. It has to be an American crisis, of c...
DON DELILLO If I were a writer, how I would enjoy being told the novel is dead. How liberating to work in the ma...
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DON MARQUIS It's easy to point when you can't heal it.
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DON MARQUIS An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
DON MARQUIS Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint
DON MARQUIS Hardship makes the world obscure.
DON DELILLO I can do whatever I want -- I'm rich, I'm famous, and I'm bigger than you.
DON JOHNSON A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
DON HEROLD Let hope inspire you, but let not idealism blind you. Proverb Don't look back, you can never look ba...
DON HENLEY Some persons are likable in spite of their unswerving integrity.
DON MARQUIS Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.
DON MARQUIS I don't know any other way to lead but by example.
DON SHULA I would rather start a family than finish one.
DON MARQUIS now and then there is a person born who is so unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out ...
DON MARQUIS The American Judicial System is the best appearance of justice that money can buy!
DON MASHAK Men with secrets tend to be drawn to each other, not because they want to share what they know but b...
DON DELILLO For every pass I caught in a game, I caught a thousand in practice.
DON HUTSON Why resist temptation? There will always be more.
DON HEROLD There's always a period of curious fear between the first sweet-smelling breeze and the time when th...
DON DELILLO Cause a man with a briefcase can steal more money than any man with a gun
DON HENLEY The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a...
DON BARTHELME