I understand addiction now. I never did before, you know. How could a man (or a woman) do something so self-destructive, knowing that they’re hurting not only themselves, but the people they love? It seemed that it would be so incredibly easy for them to just not take that next drink. Just stop. It’s so simple, really. But as so often happens with me, my arrogance kept me from seeing the truth of the matter. I see it now though. Every day, I tell myself it will be the last. Every night, as I’m falling asleep in his bed, I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll book a flight to Paris, or Hawaii, or maybe New York. It doesn’t matter where I go, as long as it’s not here. I need to get away from Phoenix—away from him—before this goes even one step further. And then he touches me again, and my convictions disappear like smoke in the wind. This cannot end well. That’s the crux of the matter, Sweets. I’ve been down this road before—you know I have—and there’s only heartache at the end. There’s no happy ending waiting for me like there was for you and Matt. If I stay here with him, I will become restless and angry. It’s happening already, and I cannot stop it. I’m becoming bitter and terribly resentful. Before long, I will be intolerable, and eventually, he’ll leave me. But if I do what I have to do, what my very nature compels me to do, and move on, the end is no better. One way or another, he’ll be gone. Is it not wiser to end it now, Sweets, before it gets to that point? Is it not better to accept that this happiness I have is destined to self-destruct? Tomorrow I will leave. Tomorrow I will stop delaying the inevitable. Tomorrow I will quit lying to myself, and to him. Tomorrow. What about today, you ask? Today it’s already too late. He’ll be home soon, and I have dinner on the stove, and wine chilling in the fridge. And he will smile at me when he comes through the door, and I will pretend like this fragile, dangerous thing we have created between us can last forever. Just one last time, Sweets. Just one last fix. That’s all I need. And that is why I now understand addiction.
Marie Sexton
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Merry Christmas.” he says quietly, pulling something from his back pocket. I frown in confusi... TRACEY WARD To the most inconsiderate asshole of a friend, I’m writing you this letter because I know tha... CECELIA AHERN I appreciate the fact that you have one redeeming quality, Jack, but that is all it is. Just a hint ... K.A. LINDE As it was before, so it was now; I need only be aware of God to live; I need only forget Him, or dis... LEO TOLSTOY December 27, 11:00 p.m. My Dear America, I’ve never written a love letter, s... KIERA CASS My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that ma... RICHELLE MEAD I always knew it would end like this. It always does. There’s no point in fighting it, Aladdin. It... JESSICA KHOURY Most people write me off when they see me. They do not know my story. They say I am just a... IDOWU KOYENIKAN So what I want to know is why it is that I can no longer find you, in my mind. You are still there, ... NEIL GAIMAN So say I’m your mom.' 'What?' I said. 'I’m your mom,' he repeated. 'Now tell me you wa... SARAH DESSEN I look up, and he’s searching my eyes, just like he did after kissing me for the first time in the... BETH REVIS As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I... CHARLIE CHAPLIN If Jem dies, I cannot be with Tessa,” said Will. “Because it will be as if I were waiting for hi... CASSANDRA CLARE To my son, If you are reading this letter, then I am dead. I expect to die, if no... CASSANDRA CLARE I love you in–in every kind of way.’ ‘I feel like that too . . .’ His voice is shocked ... TABITHA SUZUMA I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and si... HARUKI MURAKAMI The stars are brilliant at this time of night and I wander these streets like a ritual I don�... CHARLOTTE ERIKSSON When I’m running, there’s always this split second when the pain is ripping through me and I can... LAUREN OLIVER Why don't you just do it, then?" Racath hissed. "Just kill me. I dare you." Now, I assume... S.G. NIGHT He is not a tame lion," said Tirian. "How should we know what he would do? We, who are murderers. Je... C.S. LEWIS Aren’t you coming with us?” I feel his hand on my cheek. I know what this means and I slap ... RICK YANCEY The houses have been condemned on Memory Lane I’m tired of this struggle that leaves everythi... DAVID LEVITHAN But I was young and didn’t know better and someone should have told me to capture every ... CHARLOTTE ERIKSSON Breaking the circle” My eyes darken when I see my new lover. Fresh prey. My body d... ASPER BLURRY He came up and kissed me on my forehead, and before he stepped away, I closed my eyes and tried hard... JENNY HAN So now it’s this thing I do. I go away, ever so often, by myself, for myself, to new pla... CHARLOTTE ERIKSSON Well, now If little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you Little by li... PABLO NERUDA We stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant eve... JENNY HAN I’ll be your family now,” he says. “I love you,” I say. I said that once, before I... VERONICA ROTH I will never let you know how much you hurt me No, I will never tell you The lasts few m... HENRY ROLLINS Mom." I couldn't believe she was doing this again. She was taking this moment, this time when I was ... SARAH DESSEN I’m mean? That’s the worst you can throw at me?” “Mean and self-pitying. Does that make... MICHAEL GRANT We women, me and you. Tell me something real. Don’t just say I’m grown and ought to know. I don�... TONI MORRISON He was always worrying about me – even when we were kids. If I scraped my knee or fell off my bike... SARAH OCKLER My Angel, My greatest hope is that you never have to read this. Vee knows to give you thi... BECCA FITZPATRICK Tess, Tess, Tessa. Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it ... CASSANDRA CLARE Daniel, he said. I would have you follow me. Master!....I will fight for you to the end!.... ELIZABETH GEORGE SPEARE I still don’t know where the river begins, or where it ends. I don’t know where it comes from, o... MICHAEL CHROBAK And since today’s all there is for now, that’s everything. Who knows if I’ll be dead the ... ALBERTO CAEIRO Do not shed tears when I have gone but smile instead because I have lived.
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CHARLOTTE BRONTë I think of you often and make no outward show, But what it means to lose you, no one will ... ANON. Brother—” “I thought we’d already decided we weren’t that, either.” MOLLY MCADAMS Clary, Despite everything, I can't bear the thought of this ring being lost forever, any... CASSANDRA CLARE Why I Cannot Relate "What do you think of this piece?" Someone will ask About some w... KYLEE CARRIER Brida’s eyes filled with tears. She was proud of her Soulmate. That is what the forest... PAULO COELHO My family expect me to fail in life; they expect me that I will not become anyone in live. They expe... TEMITOPE OWOSELA If I could take a bite of the whole world And feel it on my palate I’d be more happy for... ALBERTO CAEIRO 6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, and I still don’t know which month it was then or what day it... CHARLOTTE ERIKSSON She is pissed off all the time,” he mumbled and I remained silent, letting him ramble. “She want... C.A. 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DAVID LEVITHAN I have come to your group for somewhere to belong, I promise I shall adapt before too long, ELISE ICTEN You are always here with me when I do so, at least in my heart, and it is impossible for me to remem... NICHOLAS SPARKS Why did you run away last time?” William asks quietly, so quietly that at first, I think I’m ima... ANNA B. DOE She puts her hands on either side of my face, and the room falls away. I have never gotten so lost i... JODI PICOULT You be as angry as you need to be," she said. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not your grandma... PATRICK NESS I can't tell you how many times in my life I have been told that I have “control issues”. Histor... VIRONIKA TUGALEVA WOMAN: Hi, where are your copies of Breaking Dawn? I can't see any on the shelf. BOOKSELLER: So... JEN CAMPBELL Do you even know,” she said, and I could tell from the sound of her voice that she was about to cr... ANN LECKIE My plans are a jumble for now, but I do know certain things that I will and will not do. [...] I wil... DAVE EGGERS When you took me from the witch trial at Cranesmuir--you said then that you would have died with me,... DIANA GABALDON If you leave without me, I’ll just follow you. You can’t stop me, Cassie. How are you going to s... RICK YANCEY Tell me again about the girl whose hands have no color. Whose hands are completely white. ... REBECCA WADLINGER Rory: Amy. I'm gonna need a little help here. Amy: Just stop it! Rory: Just think it throu... STEVEN MOFFAT It was not the thought that I was so unloved that froze me. I had taught myself to do without love.<... KURT VONNEGUT JR. Did you know sometimes it frightens me-- when you say my name and I can't see you? will yo... EMILIE AUTUMN
More Marie Sexton
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I talk about it too much in my own head but I never mind others talking ab... ANNE SEXTON Writers are such phonies: they sometimes have wise insights but they don't live by them at all. That... ANNE SEXTON Take your foot out of the graveyard, they are busy being dead. ANNE SEXTON And tonight our skin, our bones, that have survived our fathers, will meet, delicate in th... ANNE SEXTON Yet love enters my blood like an I.V., dripping in its little white moments. ANNE SEXTON Once I was beautiful. Now I am myself, Counting this row and that row of moccasins Waiting... ANNE SEXTON Being kissed on the back of the knee is a moth at the windowscreen.... ANNE SEXTON O starry night, This is how I want to die ANNE SEXTON Wanting to Die Since you ask, most days I cannot remember. I walk in my clothing, u... ANNE SEXTON Perhaps I am no one. True, I have a body and I cannot escape from it. I would like... ANNE SEXTON Everyone in me is a bird I am beating all my wings ANNE SEXTON I am alone here in my own mind. There is no map and there is no road. It is one of... ANNE SEXTON Even so, I must admire your skill. You are so gracefully insane. ANNE SEXTON Anne, I don't want to live. . . . Now listen, life is lovely, but I Can't Live It. I can't even expl... ANNE SEXTON Maybe something good will come from this yet. JOY SEXTON We had our son back after a week on the IV. JOY SEXTON We didn't know whether he would ever come out of it. JOY SEXTON There's a lot of strength to build back. JOY SEXTON He never stopped believing. That's his dream. JOY SEXTON I have the son that I know back. A little tired, but... JOY SEXTON I’d won the world but like a forsaken explorer, I’d lost my map. ANNE SEXTON Deer was always the centerpiece of this, and I think [leaving them out] will tremendously hamstring ... ROB SEXTON I suffer for birds and fireflies but not frogs, she said, and threw him across the room. ANNE SEXTON The summer has seized you, as when, last month in Amalfi, I saw lemons as large as your de... ANNE SEXTON This definitely gives me more confidence and I'm sure it does for our offense. WYATT SEXTON Need is not quite belief. ANNE SEXTON While they trace their history back to wars that helped to ethnically cleanse Native Americans and t... BRENDAN SEXTON III That film 'Memento' creeped me out. I was looking over my back through the whole thing. I ge... BRENDAN SEXTON III When I first read the script to 'Black Hawk Down,' I didn't think it was the greatest th... BRENDAN SEXTON III The film 'Black Hawk Down' paints the Somali people as wild savages. BRENDAN SEXTON III I'm so proud of you," she said, and she supposed she was, or she would have been if her sister hadn'... MARGARET WILKERSON SEXTON The first experiments on the biological properties of radium were successfully made in France, with ... MARIE CURIE My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them... MARIE ANTOINETTE There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all. MARIE ANTOINETTE It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;... MARIE ANTOINETTE Smiling makes you and others feel better, and it makes you look younger. MARIE HELVIN I tried out various experiments described in treatises on physics and chemistry, and the results wer... MARIE CURIE The death of my husband, coming immediately after the general knowledge of the discoveries with whic... MARIE CURIE I am one of those who think like Nobel, that humanity will draw more good than evil from new discove... MARIE CURIE I was only fifteen when I finished my high-school studies, always having held first rank in my class... MARIE CURIE If I see anything vital around me, it is precisely that spirit of adventure, which seems indestructi... MARIE CURIE I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a ... MARIE CURIE When radium was discovered, no one knew that it would prove useful in hospitals. The work was one of... MARIE CURIE There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. MARIE CURIE In science, we must be interested in things, not in persons. MARIE CURIE