I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out.

Guns require a finger to pull the trigger.

I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower.

When I think of how things could have turned out, I feel as if I've dodged, not just bullets, but 6mm shells.

I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.

I have fun on stage, so people think maybe they should, too.