FastSaying

I think that winning the White House is about more than just entertaining a large audience.


Mitch McConnell

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson?
MITCH MCCONNELL It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean ...
STEPHEN COLBERT Once a president gets to the White House, the only audience that is left that really matters is hist...
DORIS KEARNS GOODWIN Memo to White House: Calling voters stupid is not a winning strategy.
KARL ROVE We have been playing to a 70-30 black to white audience. And we are just doing what should come next...
VALERIE SIMPSON I think now more than ever, we need to make commercials that are poignant, strong and entertaining.
PATRICK KNOLL I think the White House is torn internally,
CASS SUNSTEIN I've been invited to the White House about five times. I think the greatest thing would be if th...
ANDY WARHOL We cannot win the White House without winning electoral votes in the South.
JOE TURNHAM Today I think the White House is really just trying to improve their P.R. (public relations) on Katr...
ADAM SHARP I think it was becoming more and more evident that it was becoming increasingly offensive to a large...
ZELL MILLER Do you prefer Mitch? Or is Mitchell better?'..
.. Mitch, I say. Mitch is what my friends calle...
MITCH ALBOM I think that, by and large, the predominant voice we hear in rock music is a white male voice.
CORIN TUCKER I don't believe any color in particular can bring good luck. I think it's just a coincidence...
KAJAL AGGARWAL The left is trying to send a message to the White House: Don't send us anyone more conservative than...
MANUEL MIRANDA I think about winning every week, but that is not really working so I am not going to think about wi...
JEONG JANG I love winning more than I love playing badminton. Winning is everything.
SAINA NEHWAL Everyone from the man in the street to the White House is talking about the need for more capacity.
GLENN MCGINNIS I think the thing that our government lacks - just about more than anything else - is technological ...
JOHN MCAFEE I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix.
DEYTH BANGER I believe that white frame house is worthy of more than a nod of nostalgia, because the values Presi...
MACK MCLARTY I think that what we heard ... is devastating to the White House. Now we know why the White House fo...
LARRY CRAIG The Golden Girls certainly proved that there was a large audience for a show about older women.
MARLO THOMAS The funny thing is that Dick Cheney has done more than anybody in the White House for quite a long t...
BARTON GELLMAN About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation.
TOM WILSON The guiding philosophy is to be unique, entertaining and appropriate, to cast entertainment that ser...
CHARLES COPLIN The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life an...
JEFF DUNHAM When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, ...
JIM DALE I think the reason he's lasted so long is that the wins are secondary. I don't see how you can last ...
DAN DEL PORTO I think there's no question that he has, I would say, support from the White House,
CLIFF MAY Poetry is certainly something more than good sense, but it must be good sense, just as a palace is m...
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE And I think there are folks in the White House ready to receive that pitch,
MANUEL MIRANDA The ethical cloud over the White House is growing. President Bush should have no hesitation about re...
KAREN FINNEY I think he does sort of have this patina of independence. But I don't think he is all that independe...
GORDON FISCHER Carter's done a lot more good since he's been out of the White House than when he was in it.
WALTER ANNENBERG One of the arguments made by the House managers is that you have got to treat the president like fed...
CHRIS DODD Blogging is growing, but it is still a pretty niche thing. We wanted to introduce it to a more mains...
BROOKE RICHARDSON Personally, I wouldn't write a book about the Clinton White House, but it's not necessarily for any ...
MIKE MCCURRY It wasn't about winning the city or winning the states. That was nice, but I wanted to win the whole...
JARRID FAMOUS It is my understanding the White House counsel is trying to resolve the issue today. And while he is...
CLINTON CASE I have been talking nonstop about the symbolism of an edible landscape at the White House. I think i...
ALICE WATERS People are familiar with 'the stick' of the Tea Party... challenging incumbents, flooding th...
NIGER INNIS I don't think the White House is drawing any lines in the sand, these comments notwithstanding.
PAUL RYAN The White House is trying to wrestle back control of the agenda. He's got to proactively make news r...
GLEN BOLGER The White House is trying to wrestle back control of the agenda. He's got to proactively make news r...
GLEN BOLGER About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation.
TOM WILSON I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. They are much more entertaining...
W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM I don't believe the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy has gotten the message that a...
MARK SOUDER During the Obama years, the Republicans have done an unprecedented amount of stonewalling on cabinet...
GAIL COLLINS We just didn't seem to catch that break. But the girls have accomplished a lot more than winning gam...
JULIE LOEHRKE I just can't imagine a scenario in which the White House seriously risks a defeat.
DAVID GARROW I don't think they've (the White House) ever had an NAIA team.
BRUCE PARKER I think the White House knows once those hearings start, he's doomed.
STEVE FORBES Caring is more than just dropping off a casserole at a neighbor?s house.
BRIDGET BRITZ I want to make it clear I'm not a chauvinist, but I believe a woman's place is in the house, ... The...
MICHAEL MCKINNEY The fact that when we die we are nothing more than worm meat---I just don't think about it.
ROBIN GREEN AND MITCHELL BURGESS My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that - a stern enf...
BERNIE MAC Introverts think about more than just being introverts.
OLIVER MARKUS MALLOY I don't believe in elitism. I don't think the audience is this dumb person lower than me. I am the a...
QUENTIN TARANTINO More important than winning a race is participation.
KARIM FDHILA That's more what we should be about than winning or losing.
JOSHUA KATCHER Darrell Davis is a beast. I don't even know what to say about him. Mitch is a pure shooter and every...
ASHLEY THOMAS If I were in the White House, I would be pretty pleased about this.
CHARLES FRANKLIN I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think winning is the only thing.
BILL VEECK It is hard to think, as I sit here, of examples of decisions that appear to be Gonzales making decis...
ELLIOT MINCBERG Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21 percent of his time in of...
JAY LENO Whether or not a house stands with her or not through it says more about the house than it does abou...
SHARON STONE It was nice to see to Mitch do that. Their defensive game plan just didn't work because of what Mitc...
DREW FRANK Winning a Grand Slam is not something I'll think about.
DAVID FERRER Coach deserved it more than anybody. He went through so much, we put him through so much that people...
JEFF GRANGER Other than rhythmic gymnastics, it's really the only sport that crosses over into art. The truly art...
BILL FAUVER Coco Chanel used to talk about wearing more than one string of pearls. Why wear one if you can wear ...
C. JOYBELL C. There is a difference between a voyeur and a tender witness. Maybe I think the audience is more of a...
JULIA LEIGH I don't think, as players, we can sit here and worry about that drought. You just have to keep getti...
CASEY BLAKE I didn't have to win, and winning wasn't important to me. Being world champion wasn't im...
DWAYNE JOHNSON Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.
LARRY GELBART We were afraid that Holocaust survivors would not like the idea of the play, but I think that the Is...
DAN ALMAGOR Ben Affleck exec-produced a documentary for HBO called 'Reporter' about my 2007 win-a-trip j...
NICHOLAS KRISTOF I wish I had known more firsthand about the concerns and problems of American businesspeople while I...
GEORGE MCGOVERN Women are more skilled than men at making gossip entertaining.
KATE FOX I think if the movie has resonance and stimulates the viewer to talk about it, you can have as large...
ANDY GARCIA Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bi...
J.K. ROWLING 'Content is King,' and with more screens needing entertaining content now than at any time i...
MARK BURNETT A winning player is nothing more than a player on a winning team. A losing player is a guy who playe...
EARL WEAVER They should expect no more help from the White House,
LAWRENCE LINDSEY I get a lot out of a show when I know that I don't know anyone in the audience and don't think the a...
WILL OLDHAM I disagree with people who think you learn more from getting beat up than you do from winning.
TOM CRUISE I disagree with people who think you learn more from getting beat up than you do from winning
TOM CRUISE The White House is where you want to pressure the FDA -- they're more politically sensitive.
COLLEEN PARRO I don't think there's anything that is a greater area of discrimination against women today ...
WARREN FARRELL I don't have much time left here, so I think knowing that I only have a couple months left makes thi...
LIZ VRABEL From the stage, I can reach a large audience, and you learn from being on stage how much a song reac...
K'NAAN I don't understand that, because I think that what people like most about the show is that they ...
PATRICIA RICHARDSON I just want to talk about winning. I don't even want to think about losing. I know we can't be losin...
CHARLIE MANUEL No one has done a study on this, as far as I can tell, but I think Facebook might be the first place...
MARK ZUCKERBERG The White House is a strange place.
MARLIN FITZWATER I was told by the general manager that a white player had received a higher raise than me. Because w...
CURT FLOOD I don't believe in elitism. I don't think the audience is this dumb person lower than me. I ...
QUENTIN TARANTINO Listed literally dozens of things (the administration) did wrong. He acknowledged more institutional...
DAVID MARIN Their inside guys, I think, were huge. White, Kiefer and (Gary) Ware were more physical than we were...
DAN MONSON

More Mitch McConnell

I think we need to respect the wishes of voters. They have been busily at work making these decision...
MITCH MCCONNELL We did the two-year extension of Bush tax cuts in 2010. We negotiated the Budget Control Act in Augu...
MITCH MCCONNELL The border is way more porous than it should be, and I think we'd be open to discussing anything...
MITCH MCCONNELL We're living under the Obama economy. Any CEO in America with a record like this after three yea...
MITCH MCCONNELL Today, Democrats not only have the White House; they have the Senate too. So we have to be realistic...
MITCH MCCONNELL It just doesn't occur to an American that someone else will solve their problems. Americans take...
MITCH MCCONNELL Things happen in American politics in the political center. If the President will meet us in the cen...
MITCH MCCONNELL I always think a debt ceiling is a good tool to carry something.
MITCH MCCONNELL And this year, when we end the cruel, defeatist practice of passing children who cannot read into fo...
MITCH MCCONNELL The Senate is allowed to work the way it was designed to - meaning a place where nothing is decided ...
MITCH MCCONNELL After adding trillions to the debt on big-government policies most Americans didn't ask for and ...
MITCH MCCONNELL In the last 100 years, three presidents suffered big defeats in Congress in their first term and the...
MITCH MCCONNELL Almost without exception, President Obama begins serious policy discussions by explaining why everyo...
MITCH MCCONNELL President Obama had two Supreme Court nominees in his first term. There was no filibuster against th...
MITCH MCCONNELL We hear the stories every day now: the father who puts on a suit every morning and leaves the house ...
MITCH MCCONNELL A reporter asked recently, 'What keeps you up at night?' I replied that I generally sleep we...
MITCH MCCONNELL We all got here from somewhere else going back in our lineage. And I think these gratuitous attacks ...
MITCH MCCONNELL America is about to turn the page on Barack Obama's four-year experiment in big government.
MITCH MCCONNELL What will happen is the bills will start out the way we like them; in order to move them - we'll...
MITCH MCCONNELL The implication here is that those who came to America legally over the years are somehow second-cla...
MITCH MCCONNELL I don't think there should be a litmus test on judges, no matter who the president is.
MITCH MCCONNELL Nurses told my mother that I was going to be OK. They thought I could walk without a limp and withou...
MITCH MCCONNELL I think I'd like to be an owner of a Major League Baseball team.
MITCH MCCONNELL We're not gonna misread our mandate.
MITCH MCCONNELL I ran for president of the student council at my high school in Louisville. And ran against a guy wh...
MITCH MCCONNELL Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson?
MITCH MCCONNELL are much worse than what Sen. Lott said.
MITCH MCCONNELL Elections are breaking out in the strangest places: Afghanistan, Iraq, the Palestinian territories, ...
MITCH MCCONNELL I have been one of the Republicans who has been somewhat skeptical about needing witnesses but I mus...
MITCH MCCONNELL I hope the president may have concluded that his comments about the legitimacy of the new president ...
MITCH MCCONNELL [Proponents -- mostly Democrats -- are threatening to tie up the Senate unless Lott schedules procee...
MITCH MCCONNELL [But what about the continuing great economic news under Clinton? Lott offered kudos:] I agree that ...
MITCH MCCONNELL Take our word for it. They're disgusting.
MITCH MCCONNELL We need to say to everyone on Election Day, 'Those of you who helped make this a good day, you n...
MITCH MCCONNELL While other state governments stiff their vendors, close parks, delay tax refunds, and ignore unacce...
MITCH MCCONNELL We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, thi...
MITCH MCCONNELL Sen. Lott was elected to a two-year term, and he's said he's not going to resign, and in my view he ...
MITCH MCCONNELL That's ... a little bit like Bonnie and Clyde declaring the problem could be solved by banking regul...
MITCH MCCONNELL I must say in response to this there was stunned silence, so this is clearly not administration poli...
MITCH MCCONNELL I mean, we're going to have to pry his hands off the door and search him to get the key back to the ...
MITCH MCCONNELL The fact is, if our primary legislative goals are to repeal and replace the health spending bill; to...
MITCH MCCONNELL Our nation has a regrettable history of drawing down our forces and readiness after each conflict, o...
MITCH MCCONNELL Syria and Iran have always had a pretty tight relationship, and it looks to me like they just cooked...
MITCH MCCONNELL By their own admission, leaders of the Republican Revolution of 1994 think their greatest mistake wa...
MITCH MCCONNELL We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, this system...
MITCH MCCONNELL Diplomacy is important, extremely important, and I don't think these reductions at the State Dep...
MITCH MCCONNELL NATO is the most important military alliance in world history.
MITCH MCCONNELL I'm not going to critique every utterance of the president.
MITCH MCCONNELL More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Security benef...
MITCH MCCONNELL Americans don't think we should be raising taxes on anybody, especially in the middle of a reces...
MITCH MCCONNELL Are we still a country that takes risks, that innovates, that believes anything is possible? Or are ...
MITCH MCCONNELL I thought the Pence selection ought to reassure the right-of-center voters that a Trump administrati...
MITCH MCCONNELL I want to reassure our NATO allies that if any of them get attacked, we'll be there to defend th...
MITCH MCCONNELL as was the courtesy during the Clinton years.
MITCH MCCONNELL Americans are too speedy.
MITCH MCCONNELL More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Securi...
MITCH MCCONNELL It is a president's constitutional right to nominate a Supreme Court justice, and it is the Sena...
MITCH MCCONNELL We all know that Social Security is one of this country's greatest success stories in the 20th c...
MITCH MCCONNELL Do we need to tighten restrictions on people coming into the country? I think there's a good arg...
MITCH MCCONNELL We're a country of five-second sound bites and 30-second commercials. Eight years of one person ...
MITCH MCCONNELL If they'd like to run against President Bush, ... I question whether they are smart enough to take o...
MITCH MCCONNELL the best plan is changeable
MITCH That he said he would make her five-month-old baby disappear if she didn't (sell the home to us), wh...
AMY MCCONNELL She said that the state of Michigan would pay for all of our closing costs and five percent down.
AMY MCCONNELL She was looking over our information and noticed we paid $700 a month in rent and that we qualified ...
AMY MCCONNELL We got our hopes, just smashed.
AMY MCCONNELL It's a momentous day for the sport and Winnipeg as well. It's history in the making and to have it c...
BRIAN MCCONNELL It?s a little up in the air right now, ... That?s how hockey is though. I can be asked to pack up ag...
BRIAN MCCONNELL I?m not really that flashy of a player, ... But I push hard and play defense.
BRIAN MCCONNELL I think our customer base likes to support local products. It is a good product, my family uses it.
BRIAN MCCONNELL He's one of the most laidback kids I know. I can't even imagine what it's been like for him. He's ob...
BRIAN MCCONNELL You start making excuses for yourself that you're getting screwed on calls and things like that. It ...
BRIAN MCCONNELL Belmont's has always been an environmentally-friendly business. This is a chance for a state-wide re...
BRIAN MCCONNELL Over the life cycle of that airplane, we're absolutely confident we're going to get 50% or more.
CLAY MCCONNELL Every piece has its own identity which we develop by the rule 'We know no limits.' We follow...
PAGE MCCONNELL Late in the game, when the game is on the line, she plays with a sense of urgency and has the abilit...
SUZIE MCCONNELL Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. tra...
MARTY MCCONNELL My dad also plays a little banjo and guitar, my mom plays the mandolin.
PAGE MCCONNELL Once you opt in, you don't have a lot of control over where your information goes.
BETH MCCONNELL We don't think any taxpayer should be in the situation where they could sign away their rights to pr...
BETH MCCONNELL The government tells us that we must turn over very private, personal financial information to them ...
BETH MCCONNELL This is the sixth derivative of the 747. It's a plane that can be offered out there at a relatively ...
CLAY MCCONNELL His name is vaguely familiar. Basically, I agree with everything the New Labour candidate said about...
JACK MCCONNELL One of the biggest problems I see are dogs who don't have a lot of emotional control and frustration...
PATRICIA MCCONNELL Domestic dogs follow humans like a laser and watch the behavior of their humans with a focus that is...
PATRICIA MCCONNELL The Pirates of the Caribbean.
THOMAS MCCONNELL He was really likable, always smiling, a very outgoing guy.
DICK MCCONNELL Sir Tom is one of today's greatest Scots.
JACK MCCONNELL He has just been wonderful to have on board. He just does a fantastic job.
BILL MCCONNELL This bill will lead to enormous improvements in our air quality. Massachusetts will get cleaner cars...
BROOKE MCCONNELL This is a marathon, not a sprint.
CLAY MCCONNELL I like them both. I've never had any bad barbecue. I love barbecue.
BOB MCCONNELL This issue, combined with the lack of public input and the problems with informing the public clearl...
BOB MCCONNELL We just needed a certain singing range and a certain vocal style (for the role).
BILL MCCONNELL They've put scripture from Genesis in each animal on different spots. What they call it is 'God on t...
BILL MCCONNELL It is a story about faith, about hope and about animals that talk and how they can change a man's li...
BILL MCCONNELL [The] single most common source of changing requirements [is] requirements that were not significant...
STEVE MCCONNELL We had to pick our poison: Do we cover the perimeter or inside? They shot the ball extremely well an...
TIM MCCONNELL We're really thrilled and honored to have them there, and I think it's an example that we're on the ...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL The fact that the board can't demonstrate how and why these figures changed is disappointing.
BOB MCCONNELL There was some very generous pricing done on the 777s. The A340 models that we continue to produce a...
CLAY MCCONNELL He is so outgoing and positive. He's been a very important part of this. His personality is a great ...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL You can't force something like that. But we have encouraged our audience, because we avoid the c...
PAGE MCCONNELL We're really glad to see the Russians reach out and work with the international community and get he...
BRUCE MCCONNELL We don't think we're out of the woods yet. We may get some ... business inconveniences, headaches, h...
BRUCE MCCONNELL We think this can be a very strong part of the new tourism effort. We have the names of Ralph Stanle...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL Each of our 900 shows so far was different - maybe that's what makes the fans come back to our g...
PAGE MCCONNELL That's why it's better to do it on other people's property.
DONALD MCCONNELL There are parks for little children. Why can't teenagers and young adults have a place to go spray-p...
DONALD MCCONNELL I'm really sorry. I've already apologized to the business owners and stuff. It was stupid and childi...
DONALD MCCONNELL We didn't play as good as we could to win. We should have zoned them from the start. We didn't get i...
DICK MCCONNELL We gave away five points right before the half. We knew we couldn't make mistakes like that.
DICK MCCONNELL We played really well in overtime.
DICK MCCONNELL We played McClintock over the summer and they are very quick and athletic. They're not very big, but...
DICK MCCONNELL We played them really well the second time. The first time we played them, they had a shot to win it...
DICK MCCONNELL Malcolm was tough at the end, and Adam played well, but we didn't play super. At least we won. I'm h...
DICK MCCONNELL I thought we played pretty good. Everyone got in and saw some more time on the court.
DICK MCCONNELL When we lost Adam last year, it really took the wind out of our sails for a while. I don't want to l...
DICK MCCONNELL Adam gives us a guard who can rebound and is a real tough player. He's a big guard for us and gives ...
DICK MCCONNELL The old section looks nothing like it used to.
ELAINE MCCONNELL This is truly a place where there is something for everyone.
ELAINE MCCONNELL Heuristic is an algorithm in a clown suit. It’s less predictable, it’s more fun, and it comes wi...
STEVE MCCONNELL You can't say this plane stops at X number of feet. It depends on a lot of factors.
CLAY MCCONNELL There are three gaming centers in Fort Collins, Greeley had none. I thought Greeley was a good place...
FRANK MCCONNELL We're open, we're ready for business.
FRANK MCCONNELL My biggest goal is to have it be safe and fun. I want people to feel like they can hang out.
FRANK MCCONNELL All the guys are starting to hit their stride and I think that was pretty evident in last week's gam...
GREG MCCONNELL The USM game was frustrating in that we just couldn't score.
GREG MCCONNELL We still have two big regular season games this weekend that we cannot look past before we go into t...
GREG MCCONNELL It's very clear, under anyone's scenario, that it's a massive, extensive undertaking regardless of w...
JACK MCCONNELL The dairy farmers deserve better from the supermarkets.
JACK MCCONNELL If you help make a mess, you have to help clean it up.
JACK MCCONNELL It was very exciting when we went into the theater world to hear such good things about our Amanda.
JACK MCCONNELL It is appropriate that, rather than getting involved in silly Nationalist arguments, we are effectiv...
JACK MCCONNELL For these two individuals, one of whom knows how to make Governments change but the other knows how ...
JACK MCCONNELL Do you know how to change the cylinder head gasket on a Mk II Ford Cortina?
JACK MCCONNELL I don't trust him. He has wandering eyes!
JACK MCCONNELL leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks<...
MARTY MCCONNELL Mirror, mirror on the wall," She caught Beu's gaze in the reflection. "Who's the handsomest man of a...
LUCY MCCONNELL It's hard training with two events in mind. I'll be glad to make the decision. It was still a bit ra...
LEE MCCONNELL I knew I could build on Sunday's race,
LEE MCCONNELL People are taking this storm quite seriously.
LEE MCCONNELL We're very pleased with our performance, but the Poles have protested,
LEE MCCONNELL But the heat was loaded - the Olympic champion, world champion and European champion were all in it....
LEE MCCONNELL You keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have this facility.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL This is always a joy. It's a hard time of year, but it's always our favorite time of year.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL It gives the students an opportunity to work with teachers in an entirely different way.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL We have a pretty good lineup. Once we started hitting and scored a lot of runs, I think that helped ...
MICKEY MCCONNELL There's a fine line between liberty and protection. And the more protection you try to give people, ...
RON MCCONNELL He's well-rounded. He's not only a good basketball player, but he's a great kid as well.
TIM MCCONNELL We need a type of patriotism that recognizes the virtues of those who are opposed to us. We must get...
FRANCIS JOHN MCCONNELL We humans may be brilliant and we may be special, but we are still connected to the rest of life. No...
PATRICIA B. MCCONNELL For us, it's like you just built a new house, and you're leaving a house that never quite fit. And w...
PRINCIPAL MARY MCCONNELL I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
MITCH HEDBERG Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
MITCH HEDBERG I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
MITCH HEDBERG I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
MITCH HEDBERG I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was proli...
MITCH HEDBERG If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
MITCH HEDBERG I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
MITCH HEDBERG I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
MITCH HEDBERG People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has...
MITCH HEDBERG This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
MITCH HEDBERG When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
MITCH HEDBERG All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
MITCH HEDBERG I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that b...
MITCH HEDBERG The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a w...
MITCH HEDBERG Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Rob...
MITCH HEDBERG Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
MITCH HEDBERG A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
MITCH HEDBERG My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, s...
MITCH HEDBERG People in the industry foresee a time in which, for many people, the only thing they'll need on ...
MITCH KAPOR When business leaders ask me what they can do for Indiana, I always reply: 'Make money. Go make ...
MITCH DANIELS I give Bill Gates an A for vision because, as a business person and a strategist, he's brilliant...
MITCH KAPOR I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're g...
MITCH HEDBERG I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
MITCH HEDBERG My funeral," the Blue Man said. "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came...
MITCH ALBOM People come down for baseball or football or hockey and drive by the refurbished Fox and State theat...
MITCH ALBOM If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's goi...
MITCH ALBOM My jaw dropped, ... I felt shame that I had to find out over the television, then felt sorrow and a ...
MITCH ALBOM Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? ... He could be research. A huma...
MITCH ALBOM You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean.
MITCH ALBOM A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions ...
MITCH RATCLIFFE Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a we...
MITCH ALBOM You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense o...
MITCH ALBOM Now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of th...
MITCH ALBOM Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.
MITCH ALBOM You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, y...
MITCH ALBOM But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of goin...
MITCH ALBOM I drive a beat-up Mercury Cougar, with the windows down and the music up. I seek my identity in toug...
MITCH ALBOM So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy do...
MITCH ALBOM All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prin...
MITCH ALBOM But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Som...
MITCH ALBOM Death ends a life, not a relationship.
MITCH ALBOM Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring t...
MITCH ALBOM The reason kids like rock 'n roll is their parents don't.
MITCH MILLER A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possibl...
MITCH RATLIFFE Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that
MITCH ALBOM Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on ea...
MITCH ALBOM People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our econ...
MITCH ALBOM