I think I fail a bit less than everyone else.

I take all the stress on myself so everyone else can work without stress.

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.

I don't always have the stomach muscles I have, and I get cellulite as well like everyone else.

New Year's resolutions generally don't work for me. Or I don't work for them. I make them, like everyone else, but I can't think of one I have stuck to for more than 24 hours.