I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G."
"Sausages.

Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.

What part of Canada are you from, honey?"

"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

Can I see some ID?"

"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."

Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.

Sorry I'm late," Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late.

It was time for the mirror pep talk.
“Okay, Maggie,” I said to myself after my shower, wiping the steam off the medicine cabinet.
“You could eat these kids for breakfast. You won’t, though, because that would be cannibalistic and
wrong.