I simply love the people who make a trap for you, and then they tell you all about it like you are actually going to fall for that, stupid them

What the hell am I doing...? Escape holding myself as a hostage...? I won't be able to make it like that...

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.

Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

Use that fluff of yours you call a brain.

I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.