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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.


P. G. Wodehouse

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QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed.
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QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
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QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
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PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world.
PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ...
CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you...
KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th...
ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ...
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person.
ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me...
ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media.
ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive.
ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ...
ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken.
ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows.
ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real...
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ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one.
ZARA PHILLIPS Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs.
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MARIE ANTOINETTE I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina...
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WALLIS SIMPSON I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w...
WALLIS SIMPSON I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave.
WALLIS SIMPSON I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me.
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WALLIS SIMPSON Never explain, never complain.
WALLIS SIMPSON You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance.
WALLIS SIMPSON I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers.
WALLIS SIMPSON For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat.
WALLIS SIMPSON Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting.
WALLIS SIMPSON You can never be too rich or too thin.
WALLIS SIMPSON A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
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MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all.
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QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist.
QUEEN VICTORIA I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman.
KING JAMES I I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.
CHARLES V I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister.
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MARIE ANTOINETTE I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
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HUSSEIN OF JORDAN It is necessary to try to pass one's self always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.
QUEEN CHRISTINA

More P. G. Wodehouse

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE "Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Logically, if you grow up here and you are open minded, you go to college and never come back. If yo...
G. P. CHING If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE -'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE [A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE As a practising lawyer, I was mediocre, but I worked hard as a law officer of the state government a...
P. SATHASIVAM If you go back to any period in India's history, all the hard decisions this country had to take...
P. CHIDAMBARAM I have maintained that the people of India are ahead of their governments. The people of India are a...
P. CHIDAMBARAM When I came back to India after Harvard Business School, I started as a lawyer and as a trade union ...
P. CHIDAMBARAM Let me tell you, very frankly, when I went to the Harvard Business School I was more or less a commi...
P. CHIDAMBARAM The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government.
P. CHIDAMBARAM We cannot afford to leave the poor behind.
P. CHIDAMBARAM I don't think we should label budgets even before the budget is presented.
P. CHIDAMBARAM A government can do only what is feasible given the political and economic context.
P. CHIDAMBARAM Police can only act on intelligence.
P. CHIDAMBARAM In income tax, there is no case for amnesty.
P. CHIDAMBARAM The voter does not vote only on one issue, the voter votes on a multiplicity of issues.
P. CHIDAMBARAM Growth is a panacea for many ills in society; not entirely, but many.
P. CHIDAMBARAM I think people respect governments that take decisions and act decisively.
P. CHIDAMBARAM Criticism of a policy is welcome. But in the garb of criticizing a policy, if you allege that the po...
P. CHIDAMBARAM Two successive commissioners in London police were fired by the mayor that came into office. That do...
P. CHIDAMBARAM People understand what is good for them in the long run. In the long run, what is good for people is...
P. CHIDAMBARAM People are wiser than we are willing to attribute to them.
P. CHIDAMBARAM 'Big business' was a bad phrase in India. To be accused of being big business was the worst ...
P. CHIDAMBARAM I respect the view of a rating agency, but I do not make a budget for the rating agency. I make a bu...
P. CHIDAMBARAM It is possible that, post-Kyoto, the developed countries will recognise the requirements of the deve...
P. CHIDAMBARAM Evidence points out that if you raise tariffs too much it will increase smuggling.
P. CHIDAMBARAM All wisdom does not reside in Delhi.
P. CHIDAMBARAM The concept of a Nash equilibrium n-tuple is perhaps the most important idea in noncooperative game ...
P. ORDESHOOK Today, to allege corruption seems to be the pastime of most people. All kinds of allegations are lev...
P. CHIDAMBARAM Carey's had though times as well, so between the two of us, it's perfect
P!NK My mum and I have an incredible friendship now after a mixture of pain, honesty, unconditional love ...
P!NK I can turn heartbreak into songs that help other people
P!NK Independence is a very subjective assessment.
P. CHIDAMBARAM There are checks and balances and broad separation of powers under the Constitution. Each organ of t...
P. SATHASIVAM Television is not like making records. I wanna tell all you kids, do not try this at home, 'caus...
MASTER P The true source of cheerfulness is benevolence.
P. GODWIN Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.
STORM P When your looking for the love you thought you had for someone and it starts to become too difficult...
JASHON P Love is about giving, about caring for the other person's welfare. Love is treating someone, in the ...
A. P. One must live the way one thinks or end up thinking the way one has lived
P. BOURGET ...music, music, records, records, noise to cover silence.
A. P. I feel pretty sure I know why the dinosaurs went extinct. They were waiting for Sam to pick out a ce...
P. ANASTASIA Cry in love, But never cry after breakup, It will cry your life.
PRASHANT P If I can go through what I've been through and do a television show with my son and then be a bo...
MASTER P So what! I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you!
P!NK Nothing awakens the conscience like a lot of money.
P. SAINATH Denying the poor access to knowledge goes back a long way. The ancient Smriti political and legal sy...
P. SAINATH Too often, poverty and deprivation get covered as events. That is, when some disaster strikes, when ...
P. SAINATH Keeping in touch with the people that matter is important.
G-EAZY Seeing Dre looking all cut up and in shape made me want to get myself together and look right, too.
WARREN G My thing is, I don't get in nobody's business or nothing like that or try to bash anybody fo...
WARREN G I would provide more opportunities for the kids of urban communities to go to school and learn trade...
WARREN G If I'm not putting out music, I'mma be producing for everybody. I got an artist named Mike S...
WARREN G For 'Regulate,' I was at home, and I came up with it. I was listening to Michael McDonald...
WARREN G Dr. Dre, my oldest brother, he paved the way for me and Snoop to get a chance to get into the studio...
WARREN G Just to know that someone who's 15 years old is listening to my music and the work that I've...
WARREN G