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Anonymous quote: "I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."
FastSaying
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I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.


Anonymous


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[After Dan Harris left his job at WCSH-TV in Portland, Maine, he had some trouble on the job market....
DAN HARRIS When I was 13, I had my first job with my dad carrying shingles up to the roof. And then I got a job...
ASHTON KUTCHER I think the absolute worst job I ever had - not because it was a terrible job, just because I was ju...
TIMOTHY SIMONS I'll drink water. Sometimes tomato juice, which I like. Sometimes orange juice, which I like. I&...
DONALD TRUMP I had confidence in the team, but I got a little nervous. But I knew once Malcolm fouled out we had ...
EVAN THOMAS If he can only perform good or only perform evil, then he is a clockwork orange—meaning that he ha...
ANTHONY BURGESS We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. like a small flame. ...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Not just because I had lots of blue and orange, but I do have a lot of the colors.
ERICA SOLITO With a little more tweaking, we could make orange juice in the orange without any packaging or proce...
HOMARO CANTU I never really had a job, because I've been cycling from such a young age: there was never reall...
LAURA TROTT So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
MARK TWAIN There was a news article on here before entitled ... and it had photos of him drinking orange juice....
SCOTT WEILAND I've never really struggled so much with free throws before. But I knew if I got in the game and got...
WARREN CARTER I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much mo...
VICTOR BORGE I had been a real problem child, but once I got into acting, my parents never had any more trouble w...
PATRICIA RICHARDSON The orange that is too hard squeezed yields a bitter juice.
UNKNOWN My team fills two separate drink bottles for me in the car. One is water, and the other has orange j...
CHARLIE KIMBALL When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out -- because that's what's inside. When you are squ...
WAYNE DYER When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out-because that's what's inside. When you are squeez...
WAYNE DYER When they give you lemons, you need to make lemonade. When they give you oranges, you need to make o...
ALEX RODRIGUEZ I got into retailing because I wanted a real job.
SAM WALTON As an actor we're just like workers in a factory, we provide our services to directors. But I must d...
CHOW YUN FAT Our fans did a great job. I was so excited to see more orange than green. We had a real home-court a...
LAVONDA WAGNER I live out of cans a lot. But I try to indulge only in healthy canned food.
DWIGHT YOAKAM I had a great job at the FCC, but then I got fired for being too vulgar.
BRYAN A ROBERTS As soon as I am up, I brush my hair. I eat breakfast first: tea and brown bread, and sometimes a fre...
SONIA RYKIEL I've got to concentrate on what I've got to do now. Every spring I try to win a job. When you take i...
BRENDAN DONNELLY We're really excited about not only using a byproduct from the orange juice industry but also from t...
GEOFFREY COATES Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Those who are clever, who have a Brain, never understand anything.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE It gets you nowhere if the other person's tail is only just in sight for the second half of the conv...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE If you want to make a song more hummy, add a few tiddely poms.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that h...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE People who don't Think probably don't have Brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into th...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems ...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably j...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don't eat so much that you get stuck in the door...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy wor...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slo...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to the...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.
GRATEFUL DEAD I had some butterflies in my system before the game. But once I got into a rhythm, I was fine. I was...
JORDAN WILLIAMS It's a huge disappointment and I love doing radio. We got canned 20 minutes before the hour.
DAVID LEE ROTH I wasn't too happy about the loss but I knew I had to take a deep breath and concentrate.
ANDREW SAUNDERS I had been stopped a couple of times -- once in a Lexus and in a Blazer. Both of the cars had factor...
DAVID LOWERY I know many people within Anonymous; I was the keynote speaker at Defcon in Las Vegas and got a stan...
JOHN MCAFEE I remember reading somewhere about an organization called Procrastinators Anonymous. I think they ha...
SOURCE UNKNOWN I need to feel like the work I'm doing is not necessarily important, but meaningful, at least to...
ALAN BALL I have never once asked Alaskans to like how I got this job.
LISA MURKOWSKI After art college, I got a job as a medical illustrator, and I was pretty good. I had to imagine wha...
ANTHONY BROWNE Woman is always fickle - foolish is he who trusts her.
FRANCIS I Long ailments wear out pain, and long hopes, joy.
STANISLAUS I Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace. It takes 20 years or more of peace to ma...
BAUDOUIN I Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.
NAPOLEON I When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.
GREGORY I One should act in consonance with the way of heaven and earth, which is enduring and eternal. The su...
I CHING The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and rema...
I CHING Great effort is required to arrest decay and restore vigor. One must exercise proper deliberation, p...
I CHING Before a thunderstorm there is a build-up of tension which is only relieved by the explosive force o...
I CHING Creativity comes from awakening and directing men's higher natures, which originate in the primal de...
I CHING The way of the creative works through change and transformation, so that each thing receives its tru...
I CHING Change is certain. Peace is followed by disturbances; departure of evil men by their return. Such re...
I CHING The responses of human beings vary greatly under dangerous circumstances. The strong man advances bo...
I CHING A person in danger should not try to escape at one stroke. He should first calmly hold his own, then...
I CHING He who possesses the source of enthusiasm will achieve great things. Doubt not. You will gather frie...
I CHING Although I may not be a lioness, I am a lion's cub, and inherit many of his qualities; and as long a...
ELIZABETH I Fiat justitia et pereat mundus.
Let justice be done, though the world perish.
FERDINAND I Though God hath raised me high, yet this I count the glory of my crown: that I have reigned with you...
ELIZABETH I I am your anointed Queen. I will never be by violence constrained to do anything. I thank God I am e...
ELIZABETH I Never make a defense or apology before you are accused.
CHARLES I It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty seconds of war to destroy...
BAUDOUIN I Must! Is must a word to be addressed to princes? Little man, little man! thy father, if he had been ...
ELIZABETH I Everything proceeds as if of its own accord, and this can all too easily tempt us to relax and let t...
I CHING In a few years there will be only five kings in the world -- the King of England and the four kings ...
FAROUK I Never make a defence or apology before you be accused.
CHARLES I The daughter of debate That still discord doth sow.
ELIZABETH I 'Twas God the word that spake it, He took the bread and brake it, And what the word did make i...
ELIZABETH I If I follow the inclination of my nature, it is this: beggar-woman and single, far rather than queen...
ELIZABETH I When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty
GREGORY I The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delig...
I. KRISHNAMURTI People are not an interruption of our business. People are our business.
A man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes.
It is hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
The more intelligent a man is, the more originality he discovers in men. Ordinary people see no diff...
The intelligence is proved not by ease of learning, but by understanding what we learn.
Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words.
Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads
Let love through good deeds show.
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
ELIZABETH I In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
That is the supreme value of history. The study of it is the best guarantee against repeating it.
It is a natural virtue incident to our sex to be pitiful of those that are afflicted.
ELIZABETH I

More Anonymous


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Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
ANONYMOUS Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
ANONYMOUS May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
ANONYMOUS Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
ANONYMOUS Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
ANONYMOUS Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS

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