I need to find a woman named Monday... Because Mondays always suck

Tear my heart out, slow roast me over a fire, pull off my eyebrows strand by strand, push pins though my fingernails….do anything to me, anything but a monday.

I was always the hero's girlfriend or wife - actually, the woman with no voice.

Know that you're screwed when your wife starts keeping the credit card in the drawer next to the computer.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

If you feel your wife does not understand you, i suggest you try understanding her