I loved the zebras, the cheetahs, the fruit flies, the octopi and the rest. But The Nature of Sex “climaxed” with a species I’d never heard of before, “bonobos,” which the narrator also called by their Latin/scientific name Pan paniscus. I knew “Pan” as classical Greek mythology’s horned and horny god of the wild, so maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. But when the bonobos started swinging onto my screen, well… what can I say? Today, I’ve got a whole book’s worth of stuff to say, but back then, I couldn’t utter a word. Imagine looking into an evolutionary funhouse mirror and seeing a side of yourself you’ve never seen before, shocking yet deeply familiar.

“Who are these vibrant, joyful creatures that look so much like me, only hairier?” I wondered. “And what’s with all the sex?” They weren’t just going at it for procreation. They were engaging in sex for recreation and interpersonal communication, very much like humans, but without the pretense, hypocrisy and shame. I got very excited, but no, I still didn’t want to have sex with them. I wanted to have sex like them (at least occasionally), in that playful yet deeply meaningful way of theirs I started calling the Bonobo Way.

But would it keep our sex life out of the dreaded sinkhole? Only time would tell.


Susan Block

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Most people don't know who Ken Mehlman is. He's the chairman of the Republican Party, obviou...
SUSAN ESTRICH
We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.
SUSAN TAYLOR
Lying is the most simple form of self-defence. -Susan Sontag.
SUSAN SONTAG
A large part of the popularity and persuasiveness of psychology comes from its being a sublimated sp...
SUSAN SONTAG
The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own.
SUSAN SONTAG
It's a pleasure to share one's memories. Everything remembered is dear, endearing, touching, precio...
SUSAN SONTAG
I wonder what book signings will be like when most of the books we read are electronic. Will authors...
SUSAN ORLEAN
After one hundred days of confinement following a bone marrow transplant, I rejoiced in taking short...
SUSAN VREELAND
Do you really have to be the ice queen intellectual or the slut whore? Isn't there some way to be bo...
SUSAN SARANDON
It is the nature of aphoristic thinking to be always in a state of concluding; a bid to have the fin...
SUSAN SONTAG
Although none of the rules for becoming more alive is valid, it is healthy to keep on formulating th...
SUSAN SONTAG
We have a great location between Boston and New York, a highly educated work force, and Connecticut ...
SUSAN BYSIEWICZ
I had wanted to be a regular character on a series for a while. 'The Brady Bunch' was an ans...
SUSAN OLSEN
I would rather be at Reggae Sunsplash, which happens once a year, than doing some horrible Brady Bun...
SUSAN OLSEN
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but ...
SUSAN CAIN
War-making is one of the few activities that people are not supposed to view realistically; that is,...
SUSAN SONTAG
Reality Check
His lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your f...
SUSAN FORWARD
Religion is probably, after sex, the second oldest resource which human beings have available to the...
SUSAN SONTAG
Al forms of consensus about great books and perennial problems, once stabilized, tend to deteriorate...
SUSAN SONTAG
American energy is the energy of violence, of free-floating resentment and anxiety unleashed by chro...
SUSAN SONTAG
The quality of American life is an insult to the possibilities of human growth... the pollution of A...
SUSAN SONTAG
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art. Even more. It is the revenge of the intelle...
SUSAN SONTAG
The aim of all commentary on art now should be to make works of art -- and, by analogy, our own expe...
SUSAN SONTAG
In most modern instances, interpretation amounts to the philistine refusal to leave the work of art ...
SUSAN SONTAG
Any critic is entitled to wrong judgments, of course. But certain lapses of judgment indicate the ra...
SUSAN SONTAG
Anything in history or nature that can be described as changing steadily can be seen as heading towa...
SUSAN SONTAG
I believe in using words, not fists... I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on...
SUSAN SARANDON
What is most beautiful in virile men is sometimes feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women...
SUSAN SONTAG
The more interesting life becomes, in other words, the more boredom we are doomed to experience.
SUSAN MAUSHART
When the enemy has no face, society will invent one.
SUSAN FALUDI
Ah, Macy Joleen O'James, I love you. More than I ever knew it was possible to love someone. I want t...
SUSAN ANDERSEN
Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehe...
SUSAN SONTAG
The problems of this world are only truly solved in two ways: by extinction or duplication.
SUSAN SONTAG
She knew with painful certainty that the opposite of love was not hate, but indifference.
SUSAN WIGGS
Compassion is an unstable emotion. It needs to be translated into action, or it withers. The questio...
SUSAN SONTAG