I want to be remembered for my poop jokes. Those are the most important kind.
ERIC ANDRE I like Velvet Underground, but I was never really hardcore into them. I like them, and I like Nico, ...
ERIC ANDRE First paying gig, I got 20 bucks. I played at some really weird venue. I don't remember the venu...
ERIC ANDRE 'The Simpsons' is like Charlie Parker or Marlon Brando or Richard Pryor: Comedy couldn't...
ERIC ANDRE I don't really know how music and comedy are similar. I try never to dissect it theoretically or...
ERIC ANDRE I don't think I would do a straight late-night talk show, like a 'Tonight Show' kind of ...
ERIC ANDRE I think journaling is a key to success. You can set clear goals for yourself. You can start noticing...
ERIC ANDRE When you ask people who their favorite comedian is or favorite African-American comedian, people gen...
ERIC ANDRE I was eating beans by candle light for a decade.
ERIC ANDRE Hannibal Burress is my polar opposite in energy. I can be crazy, and he grounds the 'Eric Andre ...
ERIC ANDRE It's funny - almost every comedian that I started out with moved to L.A., except for my two frie...
ERIC ANDRE Half the shows on Comedy Central are just multi-cam blue sets, and they kind of look like game shows...
ERIC ANDRE I've never seen 'The Goonies.' I've never seen 'Indiana Jones.' I watched &#...
ERIC ANDRE I have a karaoke punk band called The Ungrateful Dead, but we don't exist yet.
ERIC ANDRE I've always been obsessed with bad, awkward television and bad public access. Before YouTube, it...
ERIC ANDRE I used to be a Geico Caveman for live events. I was a corporate mascot. It was the silliest job. It ...
ERIC ANDRE From 'Chappelle's Show' to 'Tosh.0,' there's so much race comedy. It's o...
ERIC ANDRE Dan Curry is the funniest guy in the world. I can sit in a room with him for hours, and he's jus...
ERIC ANDRE ABC is owned by Disney, so it's a little more conservative than Adult Swim. Polar opposites.
ERIC ANDRE People forget at the time that 'The Simpsons' started out, it was controversial - the fact t...
ERIC ANDRE 'Wonder Showzen' is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it ...
ERIC ANDRE You know something is a hit comedically if you can just call up one of your friends and belt out a l...
ERIC ANDRE I grew up in Boca Raton, Florida - the worst place on earth.
ERIC ANDRE The camera is my tool. Through it I give a reason to everything around me.
ANDRE KERTESZ It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.
ANDRE GIDE The most important quality in a leader is that of being acknowledged as such. All leaders whose fitn...
ANDRE MAUROIS There are certain persons for whom pure Truth is a poison.
ANDRE MAUROIS Lost Illusion is the undisclosed title of every novel.
ANDRE MAUROIS Modesty and unselfishness - these are the virtues which men praise - and pass by.
ANDRE MAUROIS Business is a combination of war and sport.
ANDRE MAUROIS The difficult part in an argument is not to defend one's opinion but rather to know it.
ANDRE MAUROIS We appreciate frankness from those who like us. Frankness from others is called insolence.
ANDRE MAUROIS If you create an act, you create a habit. If you create a habit, you create a character. If you crea...
ANDRE MAUROIS Old age is far more than white hair, wrinkles, the feeling that it is too late and the game finished...
ANDRE MAUROIS The effectiveness of work increases according to geometric progression if there are no interruptions...
ANDRE MAUROIS The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past.
ANDRE MAUROIS An artist must be a reactionary. He has to stand out against the tenor of the age and not go floppin...
ANDRE MAUROIS Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold.
ANDRE MAUROIS Memory is a great artist. For every man and for every woman it makes the recollection of his or her ...
ANDRE MAUROIS I was the black sheep of the family, and my mother never really understood me.
ANDRE RIEU People who don't do jazz think it's black magic. But really, it's just a matter of getti...
ANDRE PREVIN I got a hundred bucks says my baby beats Pete's baby. I just think genetics are in my favour.
ANDRE AGASSI As I suffer in the defence of my Country, I must consider this hour as the most glorious of my life ...
JOHN ANDRE Youth is a religion from which one always ends up being converted
ANDRE MALRAUX An art book is a museum without walls.
ANDRE MALRAUX What is man? A miserable little pile of secrets
ANDRE MALRAUX The most important thing in life is to see to it that you are never beaten
ANDRE MALRAUX The great mystery is not that we should have been thrown down here at random between the profusion o...
ANDRE MALRAUX To command is to serve, nothing more and nothing less.
ANDRE MALRAUX Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or id...
ANDRE MALRAUX Writing is a difficult trade which must be learned slowly by reading great authors; by trying at the...
ANDRE MAUROIS Art is an effort to create, beside the real world, a more human world
ANDRE MAUROIS There are deserts in every life, and the desert must be depicted if we are to give a fair and comple...
ANDRE MAUROIS All of us, from time to time, need a plunge into freedom and novelty, after which routine and discip...
ANDRE MAUROIS In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others.
ANDRE MAUROIS Well, you know, I've bonded with a lot of people over the years, you know. We played the same to...
ANDRE AGASSI A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.
ANDRE MAUROIS I would like the events never to be told directly by the author, but rather to be introduced (and se...
ANDRE GIDE The waltz can be sad and at the same time uplifting. You have to see life from both sides, and the w...
ANDRE RIEU A mixture of admiration and pity is one of the surest recipes for affection.
ANDRE MAUROIS The really great novel tends to be the exact negative of its author's life.
ANDRE MAUROIS The need to express oneself in writing springs from a mal-adjustment to life, or from an inner confl...
ANDRE MAUROIS Between eighteen and twenty, life is like an exchange where one buys stocks, not with money, but wit...
ANDRE MALRAUX What is the most precious, the most exciting smell awaiting you in the house when you return to it a...
ANDRE SINYAVSKY A place is an area within an environment that has been altered in such a way to make the general env...
CARL ANDRE It is futile for an artist to try to create an environment because you have an environment around yo...
CARL ANDRE My art will reflect not necessarily conscious politics but the unanalysed politics of my life.
CARL ANDRE Matter as matter rather than matter as symbol is a conscious political position, essentially Marxist...
CARL ANDRE Every time you work, you have to do it all over again, to rid yourself of this dross. I suppose for ...
CARL ANDRE I mean, art for art's sake is ridiculous. Art is for the sake of one's needs.
CARL ANDRE My art springs from my desire to have things in the world which would otherwise never be there.
CARL ANDRE I’ve always wondered why love has to be so full of conflict and strife. Why can’t love be simple...
BELLA ANDRE It's an incredible serve. It's not a function of how fast it is. The trajectory is the main issue. Y...
ANDRE AGASSI During all the years with Pete [Sampras], everybody would talk about the finals. I think Pete and I ...
ANDRE AGASSI It's an incredible serve, ... The trajectory is the main issue because you're lunging but then it's ...
ANDRE AGASSI I feel like I've experienced every part of my game throughout this first week and I've liked the lev...
ANDRE AGASSI But I feel good about the way I played tonight. I was moving well and feeling healthy so it was all ...
ANDRE AGASSI It's an incredible serve. A lot of guys can serve it 135-plus. The trajectory is the main issue. You...
ANDRE AGASSI It's not a function of how fast it is because a lot of guys can serve it 135-plus. The trajectory is...
ANDRE AGASSI It's an incredible serve, ... It's not a function of how fast it is. The trajectory is the main issu...
ANDRE AGASSI As for courage and will -- we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust ther...
ANDRE NORTON Great authors are admirable in this respect: in every generation they make for disagreement. Through...
ANDRE GIDE Before I explain my book to others, I expect them to explain it to me. To claim to explain it first ...
ANDRE GIDE All these books have lived together ... inside my mind. They follow one another only on paper and be...
ANDRE GIDE What's so exciting and terrifying about the writing process is that it really is an act of explorati...
ANDRE DUBUS I think what I love most about writing is that feeling that you really nailed something. I rarely fe...
ANDRE DUBUS Old hands soil, it seems, whatever they caress, but they too have their beauty when they are joined ...
ANDRE GIDE Nothing is so silly as the expression of a man who is being complimented.
ANDRE GIDE Everything tends to make us believe that there exists a certain point of the mind at which life and ...
ANDRE BRETON It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them...
ANDRE GIDE No one can be profoundly original who does not avoid eccentricity.
ANDRE MAUROIS To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.
ANDRE MAUROIS Man: The most complex of beings, and thus the most dependent of beings. On all that made you up, you...
ANDRE GIDE A great biography should, like the close of a great drama, leave behind it a feeling of serenity. We...
ANDRE MAUROIS February 13, 1951. No! I cannot claim that with the end of this notebook, of the notebook, al...
ANDRE GIDE It is living and ceasing to live that are imaginary solutions. Existence is elsewhere.
ANDRE BRETON I have always been amazed at the way an ordinary observer lends so much more credence and attaches s...
ANDRE BRETON If I place love above everything, it is because for me it is the most desperate, the most despairing...
ANDRE BRETON Beauty will be convulsive or will not be at all.
ANDRE BRETON The difficult part in an argument is not to defend one's opinion, but rather to know it.
ANDRE MAUROIS In literature, as in love, we are astonished at the choice made by other people.
ANDRE MAUROIS Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.
ANDRE MAUROIS There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Le...
ANDRE GIDE Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
ANDRE MAUROIS The most important things to say are those which often I did not think necessary for me to say -- be...
ANDRE GIDE Complete possession is proved only by giving. All you are unable to give possesses you.
ANDRE GIDE Obsessions of the Orient, of the desert, of its ardor and its emptiness, of the shadows of palm gard...
ANDRE GIDE It is not always by plugging away at a difficulty and sticking to it that one overcomes it; often it...
ANDRE GIDE The sole art that suits me is that which, rising from unrest, tends toward serenity.
ANDRE GIDE The work of art, just like any fragment of human life considered in its deepest meaning, seems to me...
ANDRE BRETON If men could regard the events of their own lives with more open minds, they would frequently discov...
ANDRE MAUROIS Humanity cherishes its swaddling clothes; but it shall not grow up unless it can free itself from th...
ANDRE GIDE Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious ...
ANDRE GIDE The quality of expectations determines the quality of our action.
ANDRE GODIN Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.
ANDRE MALRAUX To speak of God, to think of God, is in every respect to show what one is made of. I have always wag...
ANDRE BRETON A straight path never leads anywhere except to the objective.
ANDRE GIDE And when man faces destiny, destiny ends and man comes into his own.
ANDRE MALRAUX Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly imp...
ANDRE DUBUS What one hides is worth neither more nor less than what one finds. And what one hides from oneself i...
ANDRE BRETON Psychic automatism in its pure state, by which one proposes to express -- verbally, by means of the ...
ANDRE BRETON Surrealism does not allow those who devote themselves to it to forsake it whenever they like. There ...
ANDRE BRETON Surrealism will usher you into death, which is a secret society. It will glove your hand, burying th...
ANDRE BRETON Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irre...
ANDRE MAUROIS To see, to hear, means nothing. To recognize (or not to recognize) means everything. Between what I ...
ANDRE BRETON The abominable effort to take one's sins with one to paradise.
ANDRE GIDE Perhaps I am doomed to retrace my steps under the illusion that I am exploring, doomed to try and le...
ANDRE BRETON There is nothing with which it is so dangerous to take liberties as liberty itself.
ANDRE BRETON No rules exist, and examples are simply life-savers answering the appeals of rules making vain attem...
ANDRE BRETON Leave everything. Leave Dada. Leave your wife. Leave your mistress. Leave your hopes and fears. Leav...
ANDRE BRETON No one who has lived even for a fleeting moment for something other than life in its conventional se...
ANDRE BRETON It is not hard to live through a day, if you can live through a moment. What creates despair is the ...
ANDRE DUBUS In the world we live in everything militates in favor of things that have not yet happened, of thing...
ANDRE BRETON Nothing retains less of desire in art, in science, than this will to industry, booty, possession.
ANDRE BRETON We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity -- gunpowder and romantic love.
ANDRE MAUROIS Then I despair... I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. The...
ANDRE MALRAUX The approval of the public is to be avoided like the plague. It is absolutely essential to keep the ...
ANDRE BRETON To reduce the imagination to a state of slavery --even though it would mean the elimination of what ...
ANDRE BRETON What ever beauty may be, it has for its basis order, and for its essence unity.
FATHER ANDRE No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on co...
ANDRE GIDE Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else.
ANDRE GIDE Be careful -- with quotations, you can damn anything.
ANDRE MALRAUX It is good to follow one's own bent, so long as it leads upward.
ANDRE GIDE It's shocking how little there is to do with tennis when you're just thinking about nothing except w...
ANDRE AGASSI It has meant a lot to me to challenge the best players in the world and to beat them. And it means a...
ANDRE AGASSI A mixture of admiration and pity is one of the surest recipes for affection.
ANDRE MAUROIS If, in New York, you arrive late for an appointment, say, "I took a taxi
ANDRE MAUROIS Sin is whatever obscures the soul.
ANDRE GIDE The difficult part in an argument is not to defend one's opinion but rather to know it.
ANDRE MAUROIS Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling.
ANDRE GIDE It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them...
ANDRE GIDE Whoever starts out toward the unknown must consent to venture alone
ANDRE GIDE Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.
ANDRE GIDE The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity
ANDRE GIDE It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them...
ANDRE GIDE Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
ANDRE GIDE Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.
ANDRE GIDE It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct the...
ANDRE GIDE It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct the...
ANDRE GIDE Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself - and thus make yourself indispensable.
ANDRE GIDE Society knows perfectly well how to kill a man and has methods more subtle than death
ANDRE GIDE There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession
ANDRE GIDE It is essential to persuade the soldier that those he is being urged to massacre are bandits who do ...
ANDRE GIDE Art begins with resistance-at the point where resistance is overcome. No human masterpiece has ever ...
ANDRE GIDE Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning a...
ANDRE GIDE Culture is the sum of all the forms of art, of love, and of thought, which, in the coarse or centuri...
ANDRE MALRAUX In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
ANDRE MAUROIS The most gifted natures are perhaps also the most trembling.
ANDRE GIDE Self-pity comes so naturally to all of us. The most solid happiness can be shaken by the compassion ...
ANDRE MAUROIS Always, however brutal an age may actually have been, its style transmits its music only.
ANDRE MALRAUX Style Is the hallmark of a temperament stamped on the material in hand.
ANDRE MAUROIS Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or id...
ANDRE MALRAUX I got a hundred bucks says my baby beats Pete's baby. I just think genetics are in my favour.
ANDRE AGASSI It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
ANDRE GIDE Above all things, never be afraid. The enemy who forces you to retreat is himself afraid of you at t...
ANDRE MAUROIS The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love. To be loved without 'p...
ANDRE MALRAUX One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
ANDRE GIDE A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.
ANDRE MAUROIS So long as we live among men, let us cherish humanity.
ANDRE GIDE There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Le...
ANDRE GIDE Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.
ANDRE MAUROIS Hip-hop don't have no fresh energy, none at all. It's money driven, everybody tryin' to ...
ANDRE BENJAMIN I think it's fair to say more adultery goes on in hotels than any other place in the world.
ANDRE BALAZS Most quarrels amplify a misunderstanding.
ANDRE GIDE Men and women are not born inconstant: they are made so by their early amorous experiences.
ANDRE MAUROIS A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
ANDRE MAUROIS It's amazing how stress keeps you trim.
PETER ANDRE We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.
ANDRE MAUROIS It is my personality alone that has brought back the waltz and made it a global craze.
ANDRE RIEU Not everyone can be an orphan.
ANDRE GIDE Of all those arts in which the wise excel, Nature's chief masterpiece is writing well.
ANDRE BRETON Words make love with one another.
ANDRE BRETON Dali is like a man who hesitates between talent and genius, or, as one might once have said, between...
ANDRE BRETON I have always been amazed at the way an ordinary observer lends so much more credence and attaches s...
ANDRE BRETON All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.
ANDRE BRETON Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.
ANDRE BRETON Fate.
She'd never been a big beliver in things like that, had always believed that solid decisi...
BELLA ANDRE It gets better there and it gets better here, it falls there and we fall here.
ANDRE CAMINADA The fall in oil helped diminish some nervousness over inflation.
ANDRE CAMINADA The metals sector is red-hot. The economy is growing, companies are working at full capacity and the...
ANDRE CAMINADA