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I have stood in a department store, and seen something written on a price tag that told me I had to leave at once, but in different clothing.


Lemony Snicket

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Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
LEMONY SNICKET I think having worked in a department store setting, if my life had not taken a drastically differen...
CORY MONTEITH As I'm sure you know, whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn m...
LEMONY SNICKET Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family...
LEMONY SNICKET I just don't understand it," said Klaus, which was not something he said very often.
Violet nod...
LEMONY SNICKET We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. like a small flame. ...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
LEMONY SNICKET It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
LEMONY SNICKET You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
LEMONY SNICKET There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET The phrase "in the dark," as I'm sure you know, can refer not only to one's shadowy surroundings, bu...
LEMONY SNICKET If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans - and I certainly hope you have...
LEMONY SNICKET You've seen a general malaise in consumer enthusiasm to shopping at malls, so that's been a contribu...
RICHARD CHURCH I tried once in my life to write a novel. I had written something like 80 pages of it when my laptop...
ETGAR KERET I had written in another draft a completely different kind of fight, but they said they couldn't...
DANA CARVEY I realized that day that blessings come in a variety of shapes, colors, and sizes.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Someone once told me I looked good in red, so I bought every piece of clothing in red and bright-red...
CAMPBELL BROWN I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
LEMONY SNICKET They told me I had to leave. I tried to hang in there.
JAMES GRIFFIN As a child, I was rather active for my age. Sensing something special about me, my father told me th...
SUNIL MITTAL Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.
GRATEFUL DEAD I stopped believing in santa clause when at age six my mother took me to a department store to see h...
SHIRLEY TEMPLE Crazy as it sounds, I'm a believer in destiny and serendipity, and I have had cosmic experiences...
RUFUS WAINWRIGHT but it's far too late for us; ring, hair, letters, photographs--all traces of our love will be scatt...
LEMONY SNICKET When I was at college, I worked in a department store called Brit Home Stores, which is a pretty lac...
DOMINIC MONAGHAN In the 1970s and 1980s there was so little decent fiction for young people, but we're now in a g...
DAVID MITCHELL You can't be what you don't see. I didn't think about being a doctor. I didn't even ...
JOYCELYN ELDERS I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I "had" any loose ...
UNKNOWN I have helped many (UPS Store) owners learn how to survive and stay in business. But I have also see...
MIKE PERKO I'd seen glimpses of a different me. It was a different me because in those increments of time I tho...
MARKUS ZUSAK I never charge the price on the tag, I always give someone a deal.
MARILYN TREICHEL She told me she only had been married once, but I found out I was only one sucker in a bunch.
DOUGLAS RICE I've never turned over a fig leaf yet that didn't have a price tag on the other side.
SAUL BELLOW I've seen lights in the sky, I've seen UFOs, I've even seen something on the ground that I can't exp...
URI GELLER I know so many acting careers that are deliberately kickstarted by a publicist placing a bit of rubb...
SOPHIA MYLES To me, the choir is my service to the Lord and fellow man, ... and you can't put a price tag on that...
CHRIS GREEN He told me once to be brave, and though I have stood still while knives spun toward my face and jump...
VERONICA ROTH Beaming into the thick of a tree without becoming a lifelong tree hugger was a tricky business. A pr...
CHRISTINA ENGELA It wasn't until I stood in my truth and told everybody that I had $250,000 in credit card debt. ...
SUZE ORMAN Dauntless,' he says. 'I was born for Abnegation. I was planning on leaving Dauntless, and becoming f...
VERONICA ROTH I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store a...
SHIRLEY TEMPLE BLACK I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store a...
SHIRLEY TEMPLE Imagine life as a game, a game that is filled with obstacles and hazards to overcome but sometimes y...
GARY F EVANS... One's ideas must be as broad as Nature if they are to interpret Nature
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I want the Forest Service to look at a vista with scenery, not only at lumber with a price tag.
MICHAEL FROME I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he a...
SHIRLEY TEMPLE After I drew the tag for Nevada and Matthew got his tag I called my buddy in Arizona and told him I ...
RANDY NEWBERG When they stood up and I stayed where I was, he asked me if I was going to stand and I told him that...
ROSA PARKS People have told me that I'm courageous, but I have seen greater courage.
GABRIELLE GIFFORDS Had I but written as many odes in praise of Muhammad and Ali as I have composed for King Mahmud, th...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON The definition of success to me is not necessarily a price tag, not fame, but having a good life, an...
JEREMY LUKE I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We...
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. I'm comfortable on my own in a clothing store. It's not easy but it's worth it to get out there and ...
JANET RAY I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a ...
MICHAEL YORK Everyone was on this horse. Randy had stopped bidding at $300,000, but something in my gut told me t...
DEAN DE RENZO We'll have nicer, brighter displays. We currently don't have a music department. At the new store, w...
CHRISTIAN GONZALEZ I've never turned over a fig leaf yet that didn't have a price tag on the other side.
SAUL BELLOW If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference betwe...
LEMONY SNICKET If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and the...
LEMONY SNICKET Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.
LEMONY SNICKET It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom o...
LEMONY SNICKET You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
MELANIE CLARK It was in that late night, in which we were hiding. From something silly I suppose. And finally it w...
HANNAH HOBSON How do you even know I'm someone you'll want to remember? We've only seen each other once before.' CHRISTINA WESTOVER That is probably something I needed to work on, ... We had two different centers in and out and they...
BRYANT MCKINNIE I've seen lights in the sky, I've seen UFOs, I've even seen something on the ground that...
URI GELLER My mother told me once that she and my father agreed that I would not be brought up Jewish in Chicag...
WESLEY CLARK If I were going to put a price tag on my lady parts, I’d find a more appetizing buyer.
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS That is something that my mother instilled in me at a very young age - to know my self-worth. And I ...
IMAN It'll sink in when they get the shopping cart and go shopping at the (U.S. Olympic Committee) clothi...
JEREMY TEELA I want to write such things as compel the admiring acclamation of the world at large, such things as...
MARY MACLANE I haven't seen a young arm like that since Mariano, I would say. Prospect wise, he should get the un...
JORGE POSADA I have seen clouds part for the sun. I have seen rainbows. I have seen flowers in the morning, cover...
MEGAN HART I never saw a department store Santa as a kid. My mother was afraid to take me.
TERRY ZWIGOFF I had been stopped a couple of times -- once in a Lexus and in a Blazer. Both of the cars had factor...
DAVID LOWERY 'James and the Giant Peach' magnificently starts out Dahl's career as a blithe and droll...
PAUL DI FILIPPO You can't put a price tag on a child's life.
ERNEST MOORE They told me that I had a leaky valve, which is something that is certainly not life-threatening. It...
JENNIE GARTH I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'...
DEMETRI MARTIN People know that is the price and that's what they are going to pay. People seem to like it. When yo...
BARRY SILVERMAN My price is five dollars for a miniature on ivory, and I have engaged three or four at that price. M...
SAMUEL MORSE If I had many who oppose me, it means I have stood for something sacred that only my heart knows.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA She always been an assistant (in club) and she never said much, but every once in a while (as head c...
LINDSY EVANS I had 13 job offers out of college. I went to Bullock's department store and had a fantastic int...
TERRY J. LUNDGREN I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.
SUSANNA KAYSEN Some of the things written about Dusty and him wanting to leave the Cubs a year ago were completely ...
JIM HENDRY If you would have told me before that we would have held them to 39 points, I would've taken that in...
BYRON UTTER I was simply amazed; in my 20-plus years as a funeral home director, I have never seen workers come ...
LARRY ALEXANDER I began by saying that our history will be what we make it. If we go on as we are, then history will...
EDWARD R. MURROW The 'serial kisser' tag that has been thrust on to me is a lame stereotype. It irritates me....
EMRAAN HASHMI Happiness does not have a price tag so smile.
ANONYMOUS When I was four or five, my father had a general store in Winchester and I don't think the farme...
DINAH SHORE Have I ever pretended to be something? I think back in college I think I might have told a girl that...
JAMES RODAY Stairs to climb are difficult it takes time and effort and going down is easies job... what do I mea...
DEYTH BANGER I had once tried to write, had once reveled in feeling, had let m crude imagination roam, but the im...
RICHARD WRIGHT Michael Jackson wanted to be in Men in Black II. He told me he had seen the first Men in Black in Pa...
BARRY SONNENFELD I have never had feeling in my toes. My uncle, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, once told me in confidence h...
ETHAN COEN Allie, what do the Stars tell me to do? You know I don't understand the scientific part.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN The capacity of humans to believe in what seems to me highly improbable- from table tapping to the s...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN It is strange being in a crowd where no one knows your face or cares for your purpose. In Lykos, I w...
PIERCE BROWN

More Lemony Snicket

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things ch...
LEMONY SNICKET At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go...
LEMONY SNICKET With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
LEMONY SNICKET There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
LEMONY SNICKET Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.
LEMONY SNICKET Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they a...
LEMONY SNICKET Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden ...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.
LEMONY SNICKET Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
LEMONY SNICKET The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
LEMONY SNICKET One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets. Something will happen to...
LEMONY SNICKET It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding su...
LEMONY SNICKET There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a li...
LEMONY SNICKET Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, lik...
LEMONY SNICKET Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tr...
LEMONY SNICKET In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing...
LEMONY SNICKET But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simp...
LEMONY SNICKET Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
LEMONY SNICKET One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and so...
LEMONY SNICKET Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular in...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes words are not enough.
LEMONY SNICKET Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that hav...
LEMONY SNICKET Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a danger...
LEMONY SNICKET A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is...
LEMONY SNICKET If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful v...
LEMONY SNICKET There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into ...
LEMONY SNICKET It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will r...
LEMONY SNICKET When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is tryin...
LEMONY SNICKET A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking b...
LEMONY SNICKET If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
LEMONY SNICKET It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
LEMONY SNICKET Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
LEMONY SNICKET Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
LEMONY SNICKET The world is quiet here.
LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dream...
LEMONY SNICKET Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because yo...
LEMONY SNICKET Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of ho...
LEMONY SNICKET Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you...
LEMONY SNICKET It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who i...
LEMONY SNICKET The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'...
LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
LEMONY SNICKET Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
LEMONY SNICKET it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person...
LEMONY SNICKET Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal ...
LEMONY SNICKET Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that th...
LEMONY SNICKET Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends
LEMONY SNICKET The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
LEMONY SNICKET The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
LEMONY SNICKET A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give ...
LEMONY SNICKET The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it migh...
LEMONY SNICKET People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
LEMONY SNICKET Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
LEMONY SNICKET The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people...
LEMONY SNICKET If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." LEMONY SNICKET Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have t...
LEMONY SNICKET For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into some...
LEMONY SNICKET The world is too quiet without you nearby.
LEMONY SNICKET The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginnin...
LEMONY SNICKET Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.
LEMONY SNICKET Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable...
LEMONY SNICKET A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and...
LEMONY SNICKET Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.
LEMONY SNICKET It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
LEMONY SNICKET Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind...
LEMONY SNICKET To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope ...
LEMONY SNICKET Blinded following the Blindfolded
LEMONY SNICKET Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things...
LEMONY SNICKET He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you wh...
LEMONY SNICKET I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hop...
LEMONY SNICKET It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pai...
LEMONY SNICKET You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
LEMONY SNICKET It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getti...
LEMONY SNICKET All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
LEMONY SNICKET I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
LEMONY SNICKET You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.
LEMONY SNICKET If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part...
LEMONY SNICKET Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but...
LEMONY SNICKET It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time ...
LEMONY SNICKET I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
LEMONY SNICKET Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
LEMONY SNICKET Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes...
LEMONY SNICKET Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ...
LEMONY SNICKET Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas...
LEMONY SNICKET Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.
LEMONY SNICKET There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
LEMONY SNICKET There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, ma...
LEMONY SNICKET The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great s...
LEMONY SNICKET They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't under...
LEMONY SNICKET ...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circum...
LEMONY SNICKET What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a w...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
LEMONY SNICKET It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair t...
LEMONY SNICKET One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insati...
LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
LEMONY SNICKET I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my ...
LEMONY SNICKET I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my om...
LEMONY SNICKET Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
LEMONY SNICKET Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
LEMONY SNICKET No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what...
LEMONY SNICKET Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece o...
LEMONY SNICKET Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
LEMONY SNICKET All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now...
LEMONY SNICKET We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristoc...
LEMONY SNICKET You write poetry?" Klaus asked.
He had read a lot about poets but had never met one.
"Just...
LEMONY SNICKET Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instan...
LEMONY SNICKET Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty...
LEMONY SNICKET There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.
LEMONY SNICKET Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the ...
LEMONY SNICKET Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them
LEMONY SNICKET I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the ...
LEMONY SNICKET We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. I...
LEMONY SNICKET It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are r...
LEMONY SNICKET Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
LEMONY SNICKET We weren't friends[...]We were more like jigsaw pieces, each of us part of the same big picture. The...
LEMONY SNICKET ...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
LEMONY SNICKET Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
LEMONY SNICKET ...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as ...
LEMONY SNICKET For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
LEMONY SNICKET Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Ba...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I never see you again, and I will l...
LEMONY SNICKET I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person, but it does mean I've...
LEMONY SNICKET I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of a cruel twist of fate, a phrase which here means ...
LEMONY SNICKET The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
LEMONY SNICKET Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with t...
LEMONY SNICKET But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, ...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so clo...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else your co-star, per...
LEMONY SNICKET It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, an...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
LEMONY SNICKET Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to ...
LEMONY SNICKET In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love t...
LEMONY SNICKET Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, ...
LEMONY SNICKET One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because...
LEMONY SNICKET Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when y...
LEMONY SNICKET Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically ...
LEMONY SNICKET Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, a...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel...
LEMONY SNICKET Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thi...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat...
LEMONY SNICKET An apocryphal story - the word "apocryphal" here means "obviously untrue" - tells of two people, lon...
LEMONY SNICKET You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you th...
LEMONY SNICKET Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happine...
LEMONY SNICKET It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling ...
LEMONY SNICKET The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, an...
LEMONY SNICKET Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes yo...
LEMONY SNICKET It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively....
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and a...
LEMONY SNICKET Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
LEMONY SNICKET Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they...
LEMONY SNICKET Aha!"

My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m...
LEMONY SNICKET Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o...
LEMONY SNICKET There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If...
LEMONY SNICKET It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
LEMONY SNICKET But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso...
LEMONY SNICKET They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I...
LEMONY SNICKET It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway....
LEMONY SNICKET Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p...
LEMONY SNICKET It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...
LEMONY SNICKET The map is not the territory.
LEMONY SNICKET I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.
LEMONY SNICKET Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.
LEMONY SNICKET You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
LEMONY SNICKET I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b...
LEMONY SNICKET The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie...
LEMONY SNICKET There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,...
LEMONY SNICKET I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
LEMONY SNICKET There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh...
LEMONY SNICKET Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi...
LEMONY SNICKET So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I...
LEMONY SNICKET The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif...
LEMONY SNICKET A mystery is solved with a story.
LEMONY SNICKET I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ...
LEMONY SNICKET You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ...
LEMONY SNICKET Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e...
LEMONY SNICKET There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo...
LEMONY SNICKET They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire...
LEMONY SNICKET How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ...
LEMONY SNICKET I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do...
LEMONY SNICKET There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.
LEMONY SNICKET being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone...
LEMONY SNICKET There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les...
LEMONY SNICKET Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s...
LEMONY SNICKET There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou...
LEMONY SNICKET It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ...
LEMONY SNICKET The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi...
LEMONY SNICKET When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
LEMONY SNICKET I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ...
LEMONY SNICKET They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it.
LEMONY SNICKET The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r...
LEMONY SNICKET I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t...
LEMONY SNICKET Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo...
LEMONY SNICKET Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
LEMONY SNICKET Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.
LEMONY SNICKET There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt...
LEMONY SNICKET