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I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.


Matt LeBlanc

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I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts ...
KATE BECKINSALE If you try to be funny, you're not being funny.
JOHN GORDON SINCLAIR I don't like any kind of negativity. I try to be good to everyone, whether it's a love, a fr...
NINA DOBREV I don't just try to be funny.
BIL KEANE The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny ...
DENIS LEARY I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have ...
CHRIS O'DOWD It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch line...
STEVE BREEN I don't have this weird, natural funny bone that constantly comes out. It's not like my ever...
RACHAEL HARRIS I try to shy away from playing cranky people, but if it's just a funny next-door neighbor or bus...
FRED WILLARD There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier.
WILL FERRELL The funny thing about children is that, whichever room we're in, that's where they'll be...
KEELEY HAWES The truth of it is that people are not going to want to go to improvisational theater if it's no...
CHRISTOPHER GUEST I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh beca...
PAULA DEEN It's really hard to imagine there ever being the kind of impact there was when punk rock happene...
PENELOPE SPHEERIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a ...
DAVID SEDARIS I would love to host 'Saturday Night Live.' That's one of my goals in life - just puttin...
ALESSIA CARA I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some ...
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not f...
CALVIN TRILLIN It's a funny business. I kind of compare it to baseball. I'm always looking for a home run.
BILLY MAYS It's kind of funny, with all of the different outlets that come from acting that you could try, ...
IMOGEN POOTS I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in th...
JULIE BROWN Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things that are trying to ...
RICKIE FOWLER I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll...
ALBERT BROOKS I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the thin...
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me. So I learned t...
KERRY WASHINGTON You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but i...
HANK AZARIA If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
BILLY WILDER Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo...
GERMANY KENT Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wa...
CHRISTINA GRIMMIE Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ...
GERMANY KENT I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don...
MO ROCCA I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience see...
WENDY LIEBMAN I can't tell if I want to be a rapper who's funny because I kind of enjoy just doing really ...
AWKWAFINA A lot of female comedians will go up there in a sweatshirt and Converses, trying to dress themselves...
CARLY CRAIG There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come throu...
TINA YOTHERS There are a lot of funny things that happen in one's life.
PIERCE BROSNAN I'm very lighthearted, outgoing, friendly, and funny, so I like to try new things.
CHANDLER PARSONS It's funny: I put money into short films, and I put really good actors in it, and I write some s...
BEN SCHWARTZ I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still fu...
CONSTANCE WU How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's ...
LES DAWSON no matter if you try to be funny, there will always be someone to kick you down. so not fair
MIKE GRIST I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a ...
DAVID CROSS At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it'...
TOM HANKS I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny ...
HANS FALLADA On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in t...
MATT GROENING I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he&...
NORM MACDONALD I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid befo...
DEREK JETER Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If...
ADAM CAROLLA People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it'...
NICK CAVE If I had to name my favorite media personality, it would be a tie between Jon Stewart and Trey Parke...
R. J. CUTLER It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is fu...
DAVID CROSS I find as a viewer, when I go to see comedies, the strain to be funny throughout the whole thing. I ...
MIKE WHITE If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one sess...
WILL ROGERS If you're hired to be a funny person, you have to trust your judgment but also be open because s...
PAULA PELL I've been too funny in my life to have to play a character who's... moderately funny.
CHEVY CHASE People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do a...
CHRISTOPHER GUEST I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's no...
JOE BIDEN I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and le...
LARRY DAVID I've always wanted to work with children, to help people, and to be funny.
KYM WHITLEY I don't think I was anything short of ecstatic when I found out 'It's Kind of a Funny St...
KEIR GILCHRIST My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to...
BILL BURR I love airports because funny things always happen at them. They're giant complexes full of urge...
RHYS DARBY I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don...
MAYA RUDOLPH Always just remember that you can never know all; you're always going to be learning; there'...
IAIN DE CAESTECKER It's funny - it's called 'The Voice,' but I sure as hell didn't have the best vo...
CASSADEE POPE There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking ...
CAMERON BOYCE It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People...
RICK BAKER I find comedy to be really scary, because it can go so wrong so easily, and the margin for error is ...
TATIANA MASLANY So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot wi...
AISHA TYLER If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.
KATE O'BRIEN To be in the music industry, to be in any kind of entertainment industry, you really, really have to...
ALEXANDRA CHANDO I'll always be back to the stage. I have no doubt that the stage will always call me back. There...
TAMMY BLANCHARD Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI I am not gonna say that a guy's looks make him have to try harder in any way. I don't believ...
VALERIE AZLYNN When Matt LeBlanc had his show 'Joey', I strongly suggested to the producers that they shoul...
MAGGIE WHEELER I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.
MARILYN MANSON I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's real...
KESHA It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON We'll try and be very aggressive, we'll try and speed up and change gears, and we'll see...
RAFAEL NADAL It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belitt...
GRIMES There's always something funny about men chasing women.
DAVID SPADE I don't really talk about my personal life. It's a strange and funny and weird thing. Someti...
TRACEE ELLIS ROSS As you get better and better working out, there's no one who can keep up with you running. If yo...
GEORGE FOREMAN The really funny comedies to me are always the ones that are played the straightest or given the mos...
KENNETH LONERGAN Honestly, I like someone who is really grounded, super sweet, honest. I need them to have a sense of...
CASPER SMART Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny...
DOUG TENNAPEL I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don...
MACKENZIE ROSMAN It's just my natural way - to be funny. I don't know why that is. But as I've said, humo...
T. C. BOYLE I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw...
BILL BRYSON I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
JERRY SEINFELD I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm...
ELIZABETH GILBERT I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-lo...
JENNIFER COOLIDGE I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of informatio...
SAMANTHA BEE When I write, I'm not trying to be funny. It's the way I look at the world.
BILLY COLLINS I was born an optimist, as I always say. If I wake up in the morning with a pain in my chest, I'...
TERRY WOGAN There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns...
JULIE BROWN I don't steer towards anything. I steer towards character and truth. If it's funny then so b...
TATE TAYLOR I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn'...
RON WHITE Honestly, I'd love to be remembered as one of the best to ever pick up a mic, but if I'm doi...
EMINEM

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MATT KEMP I never want to sit out. I want to play baseball games.
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MATT KEMP I get bored real easy. I'm so used to L.A. and the pace that when I go home now I start thinking...
MATT KEMP I'm always telling people baseball needs to be more prominent in the African American community....
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MATT KEMP Sometimes I forget how much people look at you as their hero. I forget that.
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MATT KEMP We definitely weren't poor growing up, but we weren't rich.
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MATT HARVEY I worry about that every single day: Am I being a good father?
MATT LAUER It's better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody.
MATT DAMON I've talked to some drummers who seem to have a very hard time staying in shape on the road, inc...
MATT CAMERON Ben was more improvisational, and relied less on methodology, and basically is a guitarist who switc...
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MATT CAMERON Whenever Elvin Jones comes to Seattle I try to go catch him.
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MATT CAMERON Creatively, I thought we were still viable and could do more records. But our working relationship j...
MATT CAMERON I guess by taking lessons early on, and really trying to play all the rudimentary stuff, and try to ...
MATT CAMERON When I first went on tour with PJ in '98, I was still in shock having gone through the Soundgard...
MATT CAMERON For me, I just try to make sure I eat enough and drink enough water and that's about it.
MATT CAMERON But I've always liked to be the kind of drummer and musician who likes to go outside of what'...
MATT CAMERON My recording career has luckily run the gamut of recording environments.
MATT CAMERON I love the way Pharell is laying down great drum tracks. He is a great drummer.
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MATT CAMERON I still felt we had some really good music on that record, but it's a shame that we couldn't...
MATT CAMERON I try and stay limber, swim, run, ride motorcycles.
MATT CAMERON So, I just kind of played the way I played and then eventually we kind of figured out what worked be...
MATT CAMERON If PJ Harvey ever came to town I'd definitely go try to go see her.
MATT CAMERON Like I'm in San Diego today and this is my hometown so I've got a lot of my friends coming a...
MATT CAMERON In my last band, Soundgarden, I had a couple of different drummers sit in on some stuff and it was f...
MATT CAMERON I show up ready to play, so I normally try and fit the situation.
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MATT DILLON I may be biting off more than I can chew, but with 'The Simpsons' and with 'Futurama,...
MATT GROENING The demands of the present must stand above the political habits of the past.
MATT BLUNT Over the next four years, we will be bold. We will be willing to experiment. We will not fear failur...
MATT BLUNT If you're opposed to the budget I submitted to the General Assembly, you're for a tax increa...
MATT BLUNT The decision to join or not join a service union, political party or other organization should be le...
MATT BLUNT Taxpayers deserve a government that harnesses technology to better serve the people.
MATT BLUNT In a government such as ours we have vigorous contests to determine who should lead. The recent elec...
MATT BLUNT In spite of advances in technology and changes in the economy, state government still operates on an...
MATT BLUNT The spirit and determination of the people to chart their own destiny is the greatest power for good...
MATT BLUNT We stand in the shadow of Jefferson who believed that a society founded upon the rule of law and lib...
MATT BLUNT Public education is an investment in our future.
MATT BLUNT With 'Futurama,' I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our or...
MATT GROENING Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.
MATT GROENING Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature ma...
MATT GROENING Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two hal...
MATT GROENING You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.
MATT GROENING I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.
MATT GROENING People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're ...
MATT GROENING I think there is a certain charm to the hand drawn image that I like. My problem with CGI is that it...
MATT GROENING Sometimes people try to read into my strip and find out what my state of mind is. And I can say if I...
MATT GROENING I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody fel...
MATT GROENING I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encou...
MATT GROENING The thing about a cartoon is, you can do whatever you want. The tightrope that we are walking on ...
MATT GROENING I thought I was going to make crazy cartoons for the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd eve...
MATT GROENING The best stories in our culture have some sort of subversiveness - Mark Twain, 'Catcher in the R...
MATT GROENING My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitio...
MATT GROENING If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, ...
MATT GROENING