I have an iron lung, and the dog keeps me from getting too close to magnets.<br />[...]<br />I have SARS. He's tallying the people I infect. <br />[...]<br />I'm nearsighted. He helps me read the road signs. <br />[...]<br />I'm a recovering alcoholic. The dog gets between me and a beer.<br />[...]<br />I have an irregular heartbeat and he's CPR certified. <br />[...]<br />Color-blind. He tells me when the traffic lights change. <br />[...]<br />He translates for my Spanish-speaking clients.<br />[...]<br />He's a chick magnet.<br />[...]<br />I'm a lawyer. He chases ambulances for me.