I guard the trophy. Everybody else goes, I don't care, but the trophy has to be protected.

I would like to ask the state legislature and local government and the Boise school district to stop hitting the average property owner in Boise over the head with continued bond issues.

I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.

I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Let's stop doing out-of-context, ad-hoc, survival budgets that take us nowhere except to the next crisis.