I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Emo Philips

Emo Philips

Beating Funny Time

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Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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