I get amazed, I can't look at it but about 10 seconds, at these politicians dancing around this, dancing around this, I'm trying to find a correct name for it, this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men.


Jimmy Swaggart

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Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happen...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you reall...
JIMMY FALLON
There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks you...
JIMMY FALLON
I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smarte...
JIMMY FALLON
You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
JIMMY FALLON
I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake a...
JIMMY FALLON
I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.
JIMMY FALLON
I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.
JIMMY FALLON
In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another tr...
JIMMY FALLON
I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.
JIMMY FALLON
If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of ...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm...
JIMMY FALLON
I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.
JIMMY FALLON
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way...
JIMMY FALLON
I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
JIMMY FALLON
L.A., it's nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I th...
JIMMY FALLON
Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dang...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
JIMMY FALLON
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
JIMMY FALLON
Everyone looks so much better when they smile.
JIMMY FALLON
I didn't have any sophistication. I didn't really have any great taste or anything like that...
JIMMY IOVINE
I truly believe the intention of creating positive change is so important to the collective consciou...
JIMMY CHIN
The par putts sometimes are bigger than the birdie putts.
JIMMY WALKER
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
JIMMY CARTER
Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. In all of his teachings about multiple things - he neve...
JIMMY CARTER
Whatever starts in California unfortunately has an inclination to spread.
JIMMY CARTER
We reached a high point in my opinion with the passage of the civil rights legislation and Martin Lu...
JIMMY CARTER
War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a go...
JIMMY CARTER
It is difficult for the common good to prevail against the intense concentration of those who have a...
JIMMY CARTER
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
JIMMY CARTER
Like music and art, love of nature is a common language that can transcend political or social bound...
JIMMY CARTER
We've become, now, an oligarchy instead of a democracy. I think that's been the worst damage...
JIMMY CARTER
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
JIMMY CARTER
America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense human rights invented America.
JIMMY CARTER
Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy, because human rights is the very soul of our sense o...
JIMMY CARTER
When I was in the White House, I was confronted with the challenge of the Cold War. Both the Soviet ...
JIMMY CARTER
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destinati...
JIMMY DEAN
Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been.
JIMMY BUFFETT
The blues tells a story in itself. It can make you happy or give you a feeling to swing.
JIMMY RUSHING
For this generation, ours, life is nuclear survival, liberty is human rights, the pursuit of happine...
JIMMY CARTER
You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.
JIMMY KIMMEL
I don't eat two days a week. And people are fascinated by it, but it works. If you cut two days ...
JIMMY KIMMEL
You try to do the best with what you've got and ignore everything else. That's why horses ge...
JIMMY IOVINE
If you want to talk to me, you'll have to put out that cigarette.
JIMMY PIERSALL