I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.

How do I like my eggs? In a cake.

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.