I felt my own self-sufficiency, my own Walden Pond, seeping out of me as if I'd sprung a leak. Self soaked into everything around me—the floor, the walls, the one window, the grass. The words on the page.


Olivia Sudjic

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Have you ever truly, keenly felt like you don't know who you are? Do you ever do something and think...
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She was limp and pathetic and woozy and I loved her, I realised, even more because I knew how comple...
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Have you ever tried to organise a threesome in real life?'

I shook my head. I'd only enco...
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So there was no explicit bonding. Certainly not the kind you might be expecting if you like films li...
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My reflections amount to a love story that is mostly made up, from memories that are mostly false, b...
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She hasn't forgotten that I once called that thing she does, with the pins, Pinteresque.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I was worried that if I told her the story, she would identify with it too much. That her sympathy, ...
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A neon-pink 3 flickered and instantly disappeared again into the dark. The sight of it on my own dev...
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Man with goatee. Man who looked like a Beatle. All the Beatles at once. Woman wearing newspaper hat....
OLIVIA SUDJIC
But I can't help thinking of the shock I felt when I finally realised it was winter, on exiting Mizu...
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The glow of the steetlamps sat heavy and thick above me. As I walked aimlessly, in the direction of ...
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Working out that I am not Mizuko has been an important step towards feeling better. If I have...
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When I read it now it's like I have broken into a reality that is not mine, and when I step out of i...
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I don't know, I can't know, but I almost did.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
But I do not know the people I am crying for anymore. I don't let myself sympathise—I think it wou...
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For a while this seemed to do the trick, and I felt that whatever contamination I had helped to spre...
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Since I've moved here a Chinese takeaway on the main street has ominiously renamed itself from whate...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Instantly I remembered everything I hated about him. But it was, in a way, comforting to know that h...
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It is 23.32 p.m. I still believe in symmetry, so this will be the last part. You've reached an end i...
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There was an extravagant winter storm outside. The tinfoil sky flashed beyond the window, rattling i...
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From watching Silvia, I'd learned that one of the worst things about being ill is that most people f...
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Man had such impenetrable means to stop the outside world from coming in, and so little to stop our ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
If everything stays the same, it seems possible for someone to come back.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
The sharp, superficial pain at being spoken to unkindly had obscured the deeper pain, which had not ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Waking in the morning, I had to remember grief all over again. It was sunny, a white winter sun, and...
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I watched us without interest, heard us only faintly, like strangers below my window.
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I saw a doctor. I went in case there were any remnants of the summer inside me—sticky, slender fis...
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No order, no pattern, just chaos. Lots of little universes separated by invisible screens . . .
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As I lay, a pink, dreamlike glow seeped into the room, gradually turning a bright, chemical red. The...
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Mizuko wonders if the GPS is still monitoring their progress. She has the distinct feeling of being ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Yeah!' I said again, widening my eyes and nodding slowly but emphatically to show that she had seen ...
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There was never one truth. Even the Higgs could still be used to prove opposing theories, its mass f...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
To me, it was clear proof of the existence of supersymmetry, the idea that every particle has a part...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
But you'd hope anyone would feel sympathy if they actually saw someone face to face, pleading for a ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Some people in the town did not seem to care about the festival and were watching football on TV. Th...
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We rarely get the chance to see things anew. I remember a Latin translation that caused me to fail a...
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I also found it hard to accept the Mizuko I'd known in multiple miniatures was one physical person. ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I wondered how best to demonstrate that we were kindred spirits.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
It continues to impress me how fluently Americans, even immigrants like her, speak of their achievem...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I hope when this is done I'll be able to get back into my happy gardening vibe that was so healthy f...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
They seemed to despise each other, with a kind of loyalty.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
When he wasn't making quirky jokes about his mother like this—it happened more than once—...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I asked to use the bathroom and sat, recovering, on the edge of a marble bath on a dais—the kind G...
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And yet how treacherous, I thought, after such neutrality, bordering on indifference, and occaisonal...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Maybe, as Mizuko said, we won't even really die, just carry on in the feedback loop we are stuck in....
OLIVIA SUDJIC
It's hard to explain how an infatuation actually starts. It's a state so all-encompassing that it's ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
My ability to make up lies on the spot chills me as much as it saves me.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I began to cry but maintained my shouting through it, like a wind through sheets of rain.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I no longer felt I could try to belong with these people.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Tokyo was a place you could quite happily exist alone and be self-contained. It seemed to promise th...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I found it hard to write the bits where the things that were at first surprising or even shocking be...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
She was convinced a word existed, a noun, that meant the loss of feelings for someone who was former...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I went back to my room and spent all night contemplating whether it was possible in life not to be c...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
He told me things about himself that should have made him sound urbane but did the opposite. He told...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Suddenly I had to laugh. It was like realising you definitely need to projectile vomit when you thou...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Well, then, what's the plan now? You can't stay here forever.'

My plan was indeed to stay...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Was this what the city would look like when knowledge was no longer enough? When the desire to turn ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Mizuko loved reading the dictionary. She liked it when there were multiple meanings for words and wh...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
In the last week I felt her withdrawing. What was once everywhere, an ocean I imagined myself to be ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I became convinced that I was being watched.

Because self was still leaking everywhere, a...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
The messages must be stuck somewhere in the tube of light underneath the ocean that connects London ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
Things which had at first felt like signs, if I analysed them for too long, ended up feeling like th...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
The sky was always full of birdsong and evening smells, piano music from a window, the stone buildin...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
That night I dreamt about the roses laid at the wrong feet—the feet of the nurse. Each bit of the ...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
When she did walk, to the bathroom between the chairs and the customers leaning back in them, oblivi...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
She came back to me at 10.01 the next morning, a mirror time, as I'd expected.
OLIVIA SUDJIC
The city is tricky. The highs are so much higher, but in the lows you drop straight down again to be...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
I saw her note the way I hovered over the various ethnicities on the form. First the 'white' box, th...
OLIVIA SUDJIC
There are so many young women in film school right now, and it's just about foreign sales compan...
OLIVIA WILDE
I didn't know box office was a thing you could possess but I don't have it. I go up for love...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
From a very young age, I wanted to get up on stage whenever I went to the theatre - the actors just ...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
My husband Rhashan reminds me of my father because he's got great strength of character.
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
I've been lucky enough to kiss three James Bonds on screen: Pierce Brosnan, George Lazenby and D...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
I have many debates now with friends on the changes, and the continuing confusion over bringing up y...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
I couldn't get any of the ingenue roles when younger because at 5 feet 9 inches with a deep voic...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
My parents taught me everything and set me up for life. I owe to them all the things I'm passion...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
My parents have always been cool. They even became surrogates to friends of mine who didn't have...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
I don't feel under pressure to work because I love what I do and I wanted to do the projects tha...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
When the Hollywood thing happened, I thought at some point I'd get to the front of the queue: &#...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
There's this absurd situation on a movie set where your trailer's here and the set is here a...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
I wanted to play a TV detective because it's a rite of passage; I wanted to experience every are...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
How lucky am I?
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
The way I miss my daughter Esme is to worry about her. It is not a pleasurable longing. It contorts ...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted.
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
My skin may have wrinkles but it's because I'm smiling so much. That might sound like some t...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
Family holidays and weekends are really brightly colored memories, full of my mother and father, rat...
OLIVIA WILLIAMS
Once, in Australia, I ate 33 pancakes in 20 minutes, and I only did it because they said a girl coul...
OLIVIA WILDE
I'm a natural blonde, but I feel like a brunette.
OLIVIA WILDE
But even if I'm left high and dry at the end of this wild journey, just taking it is a great fee...
OLIVIA WILDE
Oh God, to think that you only fall in love once in your entire life is such a depressing thought.
OLIVIA WILDE
It's so important to have that independence. You know it yourself: Everyone needs evenings of th...
OLIVIA WILDE
At one point I thought changing my name might help with privacy, but that was before the Internet.
OLIVIA WILDE
I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to ...
OLIVIA WILDE
I think that women are more sensitive to emotional infidelity than men. I think men are more scared ...
OLIVIA WILDE
If I'm left high and dry at the end of this wild journey, just taking it is a great feeling.
OLIVIA WILDE
In my work in Haiti, I've seen the hugely positive effects that happen when people come together...
OLIVIA WILDE
I remember walking into drugstores when I was younger and seeing all the hair color boxes on the she...
OLIVIA WILDE
I went through a phase when I was 13 where I would only fall in love with people over the age of 19 ...
OLIVIA WILDE
I used to experiment all the time with my hair color.
OLIVIA WILDE
I have very high standards for every part of life - my work, my relationships, food, love. I can'...
OLIVIA WILDE
If you fall off a horse, you get back up. I am not a quitter.
OLIVIA WILDE
I tend to go with a daytime look, pretty natural, but I always fill in my eyebrows - I hate if I lea...
OLIVIA WILDE
When you a darker brunette and have pale skin like I do, it can wash you out a bit, so learning to c...
OLIVIA WILDE
I'm pretty low-key; you'll often find me in jeans, a T-shirt and sweatshirt.
OLIVIA WILDE
The mark of a good marriage is partnership and continuing to feel inspired by your spouse. I had tha...
OLIVIA WILDE
Only the really young are fearless, have the optimism, the romanticism to take unimaginable risks.
OLIVIA WILDE
The thing that's wonderful about social media is that we are able to give a voice to the voicele...
OLIVIA WILDE
When I was starting out, I always wanted to be able to do everything - comedy and drama and action, ...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
My hair had been dyed blonde for 'Dredd.' After 'Dredd,' I was really fried because ...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
But I loved doing the physical stuff for 'Dredd.' I have to give a shout-out to the stunt te...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
There's very little you're not exposed to in New York City, in terms of ideas and physical t...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I had this totally impossible dream of being an actress. Trust me, just because I'm lucky enough...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I don't think I'm the world's most die-hard sci-fi fan, but I definitely grew up watchin...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I can say I love working with women. Film is a man's world, and I really appreciate the opportun...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I trained in Shakespeare, and that's all comedy, even when it's tragedy.
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I'm such a homebody. I don't party. I don't drink. That may be because I got it out all ...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I am always plagued with 'I'm not skinny enough, I'm not in shape.' I am not natural...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I love to cook. My dad's a really excellent cook and his style is: Look in the fridge and make w...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
The older I get and the longer I live in New York City, the more I have the desire to go elsewhere a...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
But I would say maybe just from an actress's perspective, probably 'Woman Under the Influenc...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
'The Movie' is something that I made with some friends of mine in L.A. My friend, Luke Eberl...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I go where the material is, and I feel like I'm looking for really strong directors. That's ...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
There's so much with my character in 'Dredd' that I identify with. She's my favorite...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I do, I kick major butt in 'Dredd.' I get to kill people. I break a guy's neck by roundh...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I feel naked without jewelry. If I'm having a bad hair day, I pick something from my huge collec...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
Any filmmaking, any film is a collaborative process. There's always a lot of people working on t...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I'd always wanted to be an action heroine. That's a chick dream, getting to wear a leather b...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
My hobbies include maintaining my physical and mental health. It's a full-time job. Yoga definit...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I feel like it's always about embracing what it is that you think is wrong with you. It's of...
OLIVIA THIRLBY
I used to say that my own father was dead, because he might as well have been. He was in Argentina a...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
I would love to spend more time in Britain one day. In my heart, I still feel that I'm English, ...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
I'm one of those actresses that really enjoys staying home with my children. To be told you'...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
I am such a diehard romantic. I guess a part of me thinks I am Juliet.
OLIVIA HUSSEY
Performers are the neediest people in the world. Unless you've been in that goldfish bowl - nobo...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
I had played the Virgin Mary in 'Jesus of Nazareth,' and I had done 'Juliet' at the ...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
It's true that youth is wasted on the young and, if I had my life to live over again, I suppose ...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
In a perfect world, I only act when I really want to. I don't do most of the stuff that is out t...
OLIVIA HUSSEY
I'm all about scary movies! The 'Halloweentown' ones are my absolute favorites.
OLIVIA HOLT
My family loves to take me out, and we do regular things like go to the movies. My friends do that a...
OLIVIA HOLT
I feel like something I've wanted to do for a really long time, in a feature film or anything, i...
OLIVIA HOLT
I would definitely trade clothes with Lucy Hale. Her fashion sense is right on point, and I feel lik...
OLIVIA HOLT
What's great about working on a sitcom is that I spend so much time with people who are in other...
OLIVIA HOLT
Working with Disney is really and truly like working with a family. Everyone is so supportive and so...
OLIVIA HOLT
I would love to learn how to dance. I can pick up choreography pretty well. But when you're danc...
OLIVIA HOLT
The 'Kickin' It' set is so much fun, I find myself in a new adventure every week. I work...
OLIVIA HOLT
I would love to work with Reese Witherspoon.
OLIVIA HOLT
I watched the Disney Channel all the time growing up. 'Lizzie McGuire' was my all-time favor...
OLIVIA HOLT
I was involved in a bunch of school activities - I was a cheerleader, I was on the chess team, I was...
OLIVIA HOLT
I want to be able to make people laugh and cry and feel happy or sad and feel all these different em...
OLIVIA HOLT
Ever since I was really little, I loved performing and being up on stage, and being the entertainmen...
OLIVIA HOLT
My style is very simple, but I love Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson and Kate Middleton.
OLIVIA HOLT
I think people would be most surprised to know that I love scary movies.
OLIVIA HOLT
I'm a huge 'Call of Duty' fan, 'Minecraft' and all those kinds of video games. I...
OLIVIA HOLT
I have an obsession with Milk Duds. Eating them tastes like heaven.
OLIVIA HOLT
I think that it's really incredible, growing up and being able to have all these people who real...
OLIVIA HOLT
One year, I was a go-go girl for Halloween, and I got all this glitter eye shadow, my hair was poufy...
OLIVIA HOLT
I am thankful for all the blessings and talents I have been given, but most of all I am thankful for...
OLIVIA HOLT
Music has always been a huge passion in my life. I've just had such success with my acting that ...
OLIVIA D'ABO
I think one's history and past is important at a certain time in your life, especially as an art...
OLIVIA D'ABO
I've been writing and composing songs since I was 5 years old.
OLIVIA D'ABO
Doing Broadway was always a dream of mine since I was a little girl.
OLIVIA D'ABO
I like roles of people who can overcome things because there's strength in that and an arc - and...
OLIVIA D'ABO
I've always wanted to play 'Lady Macbeth' and Strindberg's 'Miss Julie'.
OLIVIA D'ABO
With thrillers, there's such a fine line between what's good and what's cheesy and corny...
OLIVIA D'ABO
You want to find out what it is about you or what it is about your past and your lineage that's ...
OLIVIA D'ABO
I wash my face day and night. I actually really love Dr. Lancer face wash, and I also love Neutrogen...
OLIVIA CULPO
I tried putting teabags under my eyes because they say that the green tea - the caffeine - will help...
OLIVIA CULPO
This is a free country, and to each their own.
OLIVIA CULPO
I'm still really interested in acting, I love film so much. It's definitely something I'...
OLIVIA CULPO
Every day is a blessing.
OLIVIA CULPO
Pineapple reduces swelling.
OLIVIA CULPO
I'm a real girly-girl.
OLIVIA CULPO
I love Evian face spray because it's a really easy way to just freshen up your face, especially ...
OLIVIA CULPO
I want a gentleman. Someone with manners.
OLIVIA CULPO
I was taught to value hard work. At the end of day, I'm just Olivia.
OLIVIA CULPO
Well I love preppy style; I like J. Crew for guys.
OLIVIA CULPO
Ryan Gosling's, like, my crush, but I don't really pay attention to his personal style.
OLIVIA CULPO
I was studying communications and acting, and I decided over the summer that I wanted to work on my ...
OLIVIA CULPO
There is no ideal body. It's just taking what you have and working it.
OLIVIA CULPO
The show I'm obsessed with watching is 'Say Yes to the Dress!' Because I love the whole ...
OLIVIA CULPO
I learned the importance of being confident. I think that at the end of the day, it's not so muc...
OLIVIA CULPO
You're filmed that one very special day of the pageant, and you want to make sure you're as ...
OLIVIA CULPO
It really comes down to being able to inspire others by being comfortable with yourself. You have to...
OLIVIA CULPO
I have to have coffee in the morning.
OLIVIA CULPO
I love unsalted almonds, especially if I'm about to do a photo shoot or compete. There's no ...
OLIVIA CULPO
The whole process of winning the pageant has been so amazing, I'm really excited to move forward...
OLIVIA CULPO
I think the pageant system is about empowering women. I think that aspect of it is great, but when y...
OLIVIA CULPO
If you're comfortable with yourself, then you'll look beautiful. If you're not feeling c...
OLIVIA CULPO
The pageant movie I'm obsessed with is 'Miss Congeniality', hands down! I could quote ev...
OLIVIA CULPO
I think that, if anything, the pageant is great for people who suffer from body issues. It's all...
OLIVIA CULPO
Heartbreak is hard, but you find more and more things to be grateful for every day.
OLIVIA CULPO
If I love the character, then that's all that matters to me. It doesn't really matter what g...
OLIVIA COOKE
'The Quiet Ones' was my first film, let alone my first horror film, and I had so much fun. I...
OLIVIA COOKE
When I was filming 'Ouija,' there were some elements in that that really creeped me out.
OLIVIA COOKE
My first big role was when I was 17 and I got the part playing Maria in 'West Side Story' in...
OLIVIA COOKE
My dad's an ex-policeman, and my mum is a sales representative, and they haven't got the act...
OLIVIA COOKE
I did ballet and gymnastics, and then I started acting when I was eight - just doing amateur theater...
OLIVIA COOKE
In life, I'm pretty low-key and quite non-descript.
OLIVIA COOKE