I don't like lollipops.

Play along, the wink said. I'll get you out of this.

At least Artemis hoped this was what his wink communicated and not something like 'Any chance of another kiss later?

Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.

Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.

Waitress: "And to drink?"
Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.

You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually.