I don't weigh a pound over one hundred and eighty and, what's more, I never did.

How did I become a star? I don't know how it happened. When I look at my old pictures, I can't tell how it happened!

I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You never saw me stuck in a door-way or stuck in a chair.

I shall produce nothing that will offend the proprieties, whether applied to children or grownups. My pictures are turned out with clean hands and, therefore, with a clear conscience which, like virtue, is its own reward.

I don't believe there is any finer mission on Earth than just to make people laugh.

I don't weigh a pound over one hundred and eighty and, what's more, I never did.