FastSaying

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.


D. L. Hughley

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STAN LAUREL I'd be resentful if shareholders who don't know the business tried to tell me what to do.
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PAUL FEIG I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh beca...
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EDEN HAZARD I knew how to read a contract by 10 years old, but I didn't know what it meant for somebody to c...
COREY FELDMAN I don't want to tell people how to remember me. I want people to remember me as they remember me...
JOHN TRUDELL I don't know how to explain how, probably to my detriment, unselfpromoting I am. I used to have ...
ZOOEY DESCHANEL I wanted to sell a million records, and I sold a million records. I wanted to go platinum; I went pl...
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BRIAN SETZER I know I have a caption that I'm going to use when somebody tells me something I've never he...
BRANDON STANTON I don't need to convince anybody that I know kung fu, but maybe somebody needs to know that I re...
DAVID CARRADINE Every now and then, someone will tell me that one of my books has made them laugh out loud. I never ...
MARY ROACH I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself ...
STEVE MARTIN Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids ...
BILLY BOB THORNTON I'm definitely one of those chicks who want to be in a relationship. I need somebody who can mak...
ALY MICHALKA I love a girl that can make me laugh. I am not really a laugh-at-things type of guy and I don't ...
JESSE MCCARTNEY You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. ...
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DAVID KARP I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been fu...
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BRYSON TILLER I really don't mind what people assume about me. I really think that my brain is my private thin...
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BOW WOW I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you t...
ANDY WARHOL My dad knows how to tell a story. He'd make me laugh by doing all the different voices.
LILY COLLINS I tell all the young guys, don't make choices because somebody else is telling you it's good...
BRAD PITT I don't think you can teach people how to be funny. You can make suggestions about how to speak ...
GEORGE CUKOR I love it when somebody makes me laugh - it's what attracts me to people.
DAWN FRENCH The act of witnessing is important to me; somebody's got to tell the truth, you know what I mean...
ATHOL FUGARD There's always got to be a struggle. What else is there? That's what life is made of. I don&...
VAN MORRISON I've known my best friend since I was a baby, and I don't know what I would do without her. ...
JASMINE GUINNESS And I began to tell little anecdotes that had happened to me, and people would laugh. And I began to...
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VIDYA BALAN If somebody from the past doesn't rise up from the grave and start talking to me, I haven't ...
GERALDINE BROOKS Once in a while, I do these things that would make the 10-year old version of me laugh. I don't ...
NATHAN FIELDER I don't want to live in a nanny state where people are telling me where I can go and what I can ...
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JULIA RESTOIN ROITFELD Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That&#...
AL PACINO Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY I really don't care what people think of me. I've got my family. I've got my friends. Ye...
CHRIS KYLE It's a funny thing: people often ask how I discipline myself to write. I can't begin to unde...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER I need a spiritual connection - I can make changes, but I can't make miracles - and I need peopl...
VICTORIA MORAN Everyone who has ever met me for at least five minutes knows I'm a really funny person. I love t...
SIMONE ELKELES I don't read the magazines that make things up about people. I know what the truth is. I don'...
ASHTON KUTCHER I don't have any focus groups on talent and programming. If I need five people in a mall to be p...
ROGER AILES I haven't been to a movie since somebody gave me free tickets to Star Wars, which I went to.
JACK VANCE Everywhere I go, somebody is staring at me, I don't know if people are staring because they reco...
LEONARDO DICAPRIO I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I ...
JIMMY KIMMEL I pay a lot of attention to box office because I understand it. TV ratings? I don't know how to ...
OREN PELI But I'm very careful with opinions because I never know what the truth is. When I read what the ...
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GARRETT DILLAHUNT People tell me I'm dancing better than ever. I don't know what happened, but I have new enth...
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DICK MORSE I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, ...
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NAIMA ADEDAPO I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
KEVIN HART I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't ...
GENE WILDER What don't I want to learn? I have how-to books, history, nature. Ain't nobody here saying, ...
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AUDREY TAUTOU As someone who specializes in deception, I'll tell you this much: When someone insistently implo...
PAMELA MEYER If we'd had another carefree 70's, I'd have been dead. It was a little too carefree, you...
RANDY NEWMAN I don't know how to make Harper and Alloy want me, not just my name.
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PATTY GRIFFIN I think I'm too cynical for L.A. My sense of humor doesn't go down well here, which probably...
TEDDY THOMPSON I don't necessarily want to know what people are saying when I'm not around, especially if i...
LAURA VANDERVOORT If you don't read it, you don't know. I mean, that's why I have a PR team. They read it ...
ANNE WOJCICKI That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny.
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DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Music is food to the soul. Eat fresh. Make sure it's tasty. PLEASE don't settle for Fast Food.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER The devil will try to use any and every avenue to deter you from moving forward, but not one of thos...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I read your prose with a voracious hunger for the next line, and satisfy as they each increase in et...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER There is no option. Excellence is the only way forward, and there's this huge wall behind me call ac...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Only roll with lyrical pro's, spit lyrical prose like physical blows. Not one intermission with thes...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER THE POOR AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "POVERTY" IS FILTH TO THE RICH AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "RICHES", BUT ...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I'm ready to go back to Eden, where there was only God and His Creation. No church, no religion, no ...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER A soul sold is much worse than slavery.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER They all ignore me. There will come a day when that is impossible.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER This esoteric high tier elitist industry makes me sick.....but the product is what keeps me here.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER There is nothing more euphoric than doing what you love, just because you love it.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER If what you perceive is what you believe, then you gotta change the point of view in which you see.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER A single trait can never define a whole diaspora of people.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER You can change your destiny but not a human.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER It's hard being rare, because the chances of another rarity being with at the same time....are rare.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER We go through phases - remaining the same person with different faces. Places, things, they all seem...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Romantic Comedies have today's brokenhearted openly and wholeheartedly pursuing unhealthy relationsh...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER You can break my heart, but never my spirit.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I'd say end honesty hour but then I'd have to shut up forever.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER You don't change the world to travel, you travel to change the world.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Do you not realize the level of impatience I hold within my soul?
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER If your soul is weak, your mind becomes warped, and your body no longer is in your control.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Your image is as stained on my heart as the very tissue that forms it.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER A dark past doesn't disqualify you from a chance at a bright future.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I will forever believe in second chances and forgiveness, because if it weren't for those two things...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Think it's time I sever a few split ends in my life.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Work now or forever be in debt.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Success is not being rich, but finding content in carrying out the thing that you'd give up your mos...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Try to work with 'em but they mind still closed...They cry wolf constant but they're wearing sheep c...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Erasing the Legends...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I honestly don't mind as much when I'm judged based on appearance and/or preconception. It tells me ...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Progression. That means whether or not you're on my team I win.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I rarely go through emotional pain. I don't find it necessary... So, while I appreciate you "not wan...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Want to show me how beautiful you are? Take off the make-up.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Everyone else may be crazy, while the homeless man uttering seemingly pointless phrases may be the m...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER When we get what we want we often find it was too much to handle.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER The only presence I ever truly need is the presence of God!
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I LOVE people. I LOVE progress. I despise ignorance. I despise lack of motion. That also means when ...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER The deeper I look into myself the more shallow the outside world becomes.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Gotta lot of struggles, and I gotta lot of pain, but Jesus Christ is my umbrella in the rain. He alw...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER The hearts of men reject what they cannot mentally grasp.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I was born to be the man that's not scared to bring up the controversial topic you think about but n...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER If it's not about God, Music, any art form, or martial arts, chances are I'm not going to care. Hope...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Well I'm single and looking... Just...not in your direction
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER When life becomes a headache the only painkiller is time.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Don't ever expect people to take seriously what you do. It's not their responsiblity to appreciate s...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER My ears, they tire, you're speaking too much.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Lunch today...was amazing!
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER I saw her in a jacket, weather was kinda cold, but her cheeks were still rosy - she had a warm soul.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER