Ron White quote: "I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice. He doesn't give solicited advice."

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I wo...
RON WHITE

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant....
RON WHITE

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
RON WHITE

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITE

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretch...
RON WHITE

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
RON WHITE

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
RON WHITE

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people w...
RON WHITE

The next time you have a thought... let it go.
RON WHITE

I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
RON WHITE

Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it's about. The content's got to be...
RON WHITE

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

When I was a kid, mostly I played in a ditch that didn't have much water in it. It was for drain...
RON WHITE

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as th...
RON WHITE

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
RON WHITE

I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
RON WHITE

You can't fix stupid.
RON WHITE

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply...
RON WHITE

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
RON WHITE

I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking...
RON WHITE

If you watch the 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour,' don't expect that when you come see me by my...
RON WHITE

I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life ...
RON WHITE

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose ...
RON WHITE

My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE

It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech an...
RON WHITE

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old....
RON WHITE

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
RON WHITE

My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I've been through ...
RON WHITE

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and a...
RON WHITE

I pretty much give both barrels every time I walk on stage.
RON WHITE

A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That's just like hea...
RON WHITE

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you c...
RON WHITE

Don't bring your kids to my show, and I won't come to your house and cuss.
RON WHITE

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and...
RON WHITE

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being tru...
RON WHITE

I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn'...
RON WHITE

Lisa is one of the funniest comedians. She absolutely killed me. I loved it.
RON WHITE

[There's a] secret story ... They call me Tater Salad.
RON WHITE

My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan - thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE

The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE

If I'm not in the theatre, I'm in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club,...
RON WHITE

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
RON WHITE

Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
RON WHITE

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and hav...
RON WHITE

Drunk in Public Tour.
RON WHITE

You can't cure stupid (2010)
RON WHITE

Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks
RON WHITE

As a woman grows older, you can give her a [tummy-tuck], you can give her LASIK if her vision goes b...
RON WHITE

Like a lot of Iowans, I have to drive just to meet basic needs, ... Am I going to drive into town fo...
RON WHITE

It's not like driving the freeways of California. It's dog-eat-dog out here. You have to have water ...
RON WHITE

I hope you've enjoyed some of the new stuff tonight as well as some of the old stuff, ... I'll never...
RON WHITE

even if you're dead.
RON WHITE

got funnier and funnier.
RON WHITE

I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, ...
RON WHITE

I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No ...
RON WHITE

Here's how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her pho...
RON WHITE

There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' ...
RON WHITE

I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonadethen find someone that life gave vodka to and have...
RON WHITE

One of my top priorities will be to defund Planned Parenthood.
RON ESTES

My biggest regret could be summed up in one word, and that's procrastination.
RON COOPER

How did we win the election in the year 2000? We talked about a humble foreign policy: No nation-bui...
RON PAUL

There is nothing wrong with describing Conservatism as protecting the Constitution, protecting all t...
RON PAUL

You don't have freedom because you are a hyphenated American; you have freedom because you are a...
RON PAUL

The obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our liberty, not coddle the worl...
RON PAUL

Capitalism should not be condemned, since we haven't had capitalism.
RON PAUL

All initiation of force is a violation of someone else's rights, whether initiated by an individ...
RON PAUL

When the federal government spends more each year than it collects in tax revenues, it has three cho...
RON PAUL

Our country's founders cherished liberty, not democracy.
RON PAUL

You wanna get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let's just get rid of all the drug laws.
RON PAUL

Maybe we ought to consider a Golden Rule in foreign policy: Don't do to other nations what we do...
RON PAUL

What is not conservative about saying, 'Don't go to war unless we go to war properly with a ...
RON PAUL

Well, I don't think we should go to the moon. I think we maybe should send some politicians up t...
RON PAUL

1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
RON PAUL

If you like small government you need to work hard at having a strong national defense that is not s...
RON PAUL

When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads.
RON PAUL

The moral and constitutional obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our lib...
RON PAUL

There is only one kind of freedom and that's individual liberty. Our lives come from our creator...
RON PAUL

Legitimate use of violence can only be that which is required in self-defense.
RON PAUL

I am absolutely opposed to a national ID card. This is a total contradiction of what a free society ...
RON PAUL

The last show we played, I was straight as a die. It did feel weird not to be hiding behind alcohol ...
RON WOOD

You cannot be against embryonic stem cell research and be intellectually and therefore morally consi...
RON REAGAN

If we weren't running deficits, if we weren't spending more than we were taking in, there wo...
RON JOHNSON

The most important element of a free society, where individual rights are held in the highest esteem...
RON PAUL

Justifying conscription to promote the cause of liberty is one of the most bizarre notions ever conc...
RON PAUL

In a time of serious budget deficits, immense war costs and a sluggish economy, we cannot afford to ...
RON KIND

I believe the U.S. has been way too silent on the brutality, the lack of human rights in the Muslim ...
RON JOHNSON

In the 1970s we saw a massive shift of household savings from the banks to the brokerage firms.
RON CHERNOW

I love learning about different dialects and I own all sorts of regional and time-period slang dicti...
RON RASH

I see a bright future for Florida and for America, and my campaign will be about the ideas and princ...
RON DESANTIS

I go off into Dublin and two days later I'm spotted walking by the Liffey with a whole bunch of ...
RON WOOD

A crash really occurs when you suddenly have a violent downturn in the market that then heralds a lo...
RON CHERNOW

Any bull market covers a multitude of sins, so there may be all sorts of problems with the current s...
RON CHERNOW

Stock market corrections, although painful at the time, are actually a very healthy part of the whol...
RON CHERNOW

As a bull market continues, almost anything you buy goes up. It makes you feel that investing in sto...
RON CHERNOW

As the bull market goes on, people who take great risks achieve great rewards, seemingly without pun...
RON CHERNOW

The founding fathers were not only brilliant, they were system builders and systematic thinkers. The...
RON CHERNOW

Having federal officials, whether judges, bureaucrats, or congressmen, impose a new definition of ma...
RON PAUL

Watching National League pitchers trying to hit or even bunt is depressing.
RON BLOMBERG

Sitting in the Oval Office, beneath a painting of George Washington, with a bust of Martin Luther Ki...
RON FOURNIER

If you manage things properly - and, listen, I'm a business guy. I've got to prioritize spen...
RON JOHNSON

I am very grateful to Jeb Bush for his support of my candidacy.
RON DESANTIS

Shock, confusion, fear, anger, grief, and defiance. On Sept. 11, 2001, and for the three days follow...
RON FOURNIER

When I came to town and saw the price of diesel went above regular gas, that burnt me up.
RON ZIEGLER

You don't want too much fear in a market, because people will be blinded to some very good buyin...
RON CHERNOW

There's a basic rule which runs through all kinds of music, kind of an unwritten rule. I don't know ...
RON WOOD

Positive thinking is the key to success in business, education, pro football, anything that you can...
RON JAWORSKI

It's an appeal as old as America and its presidency: This is an extraordinary country populated ...
RON FOURNIER

President Obama is casting his lot in the middle of a debate as old as America itself: Are we rugged...
RON FOURNIER

I have very close friends who are very devout Catholics, and I talked to them before the 'Da Vin...
RON HOWARD

Really, I was such a late bloomer, I really didn't learn how to be me until I was in my late ...
RON PERLMAN

I lost 90 pounds and my blood pressure went down to a normal level and the salt in my urine disappea...
RON PERLMAN

A small profit it better than a big loss
RON RASH

Christie led the way - with a bulldozer. The governor is blunt, brash, and self-consciously authenti...
RON FOURNIER

Fractal geometry is everywhere, even in lines drawn in the sand. It's the cycle of life... You s...
RON EGLASH

You don't have power if you surrender all your principles -- you have office.
RON TODD

But nothing is solid and permanent. Our lives are raised on the shakiest foundations. You don't need...
RON RASH

But let it not be said that we did nothing. Let not those who love the power of the welfare/warfare ...
RON PAUL

The British were unhinged by the colonists' unorthodox fighting style and shocking failure to abide ...
RON CHERNOW

To love a man enough to help him, you have to forfeit the warm, self-righteous glow that comes from ...
RON HALL

You reach a point where you say you're not going to do juveniles any longer.
RON HOWARD

Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing.
RON LUCIANO

Positive thinking is the key to success in business, education, pro football, anything that you can ...
RON JAWORSKI

Every new idea is an impossibility until it is born.
RON BROWN

Competing in sports has taught me that if I'm not willing to give 120 percent, somebody else will.
RON BLOMBERG

After being Washington's aide for four years and becoming the hero of Yorktown, Hamilton was vie...
RON CHERNOW

Life is an aggregate of experience, which continually surprises us.
RON CARLSON

More important is the fact that embryonic stem cell research could lead to new treatments and cures ...
RON KIND

I don't live in books, but, boy, have books amplified my life.
RON CARLSON

I am just absolutely convinced that the best formula for giving us peace and preserving the American...
RON PAUL

America needs a new generation of leaders to address the big issues facing the country: alleviating ...
RON DESANTIS

We need a new generation of leaders who will promote policies that will foster economic growth and a...
RON DESANTIS

Freedom of religion is a principle that is central to our Nation's Declaration of Independence. ...
RON LEWIS

We must enforce the laws we have on the books, secure our borders, and deny special benefits to ille...
RON DESANTIS

More customers for Canadian oil means that Canadian producers can charge more for their oil, which t...
RON WYDEN

Al-Qaeda has a kind of loose, almost entrepreneurial structure with lots of cells in various countri...
RON SUSKIND

Financial literacy is an issue that should command our attention because many Americans are not adeq...
RON LEWIS

I absolutely reject that idea that the press is liberal and what it does is liberal. In my view, it&...
RON SUSKIND

We have all read tragic stories in our local papers about gun accidents as a result of misuse. As la...
RON LEWIS

When I occasionally indulge in sort of a 'look back' at highlights, it's so interesting ...
RON HOWARD

Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is n...
RON TAFFEL

I believe that we all have a responsibility to give back. No one becomes successful without lots of ...
RON CONWAY

When you're young and you're striving, it's all uphill, and it's easier to climb. Th...
RON HOWARD

By nominating Chuck Hagel to be his Defense secretary, President Obama is putting forward an aloof c...
RON FOURNIER

We have three cats. It's like having children, but there is no tuition involved.
RON REAGAN

Real patriotism is a willingness to challenge the government when it's wrong.
RON PAUL

You learn by mistakes. When you make those mistakes, you try not to make them the third time or the ...
RON JAWORSKI

I don't even like to use the word relationship. I don't know what it means.
RON SILVER

Now in the 1980s, I happened to notice that if you look at an aerial photograph of an African villag...
RON EGLASH

I started collecting aerial photographs of Native American and South Pacific architecture; only the ...
RON EGLASH

Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt faced adversities that, in their times, seemed impregna...
RON FOURNIER

It's time to look beyond the budget ax to assure access to health care for all. It's time to...
RON WYDEN

When you first meet an investor, you've got to be able to say in one compelling sentence - that ...
RON CONWAY

Facebook is becoming the web. Everything you need is there... it is the universe.
RON CONWAY

Cities like New York have already followed San Francisco and have started similar organizations like...
RON CONWAY

I started sfCiti because I believed that technology companies needed to take a 'One City' ap...
RON CONWAY

I couldn't care less who is mad at me as long as the entrepreneur comes out ahead.
RON CONWAY

I never said I enjoy anything about using the Internet. I enjoy helping the entrepreneurs who are bu...
RON CONWAY

All the biggest companies are based on a founder who had a need, hacked it together, and said, '...
RON CONWAY

Entrepreneurs, because they need money, they are willing to share their crystal ball with someone li...
RON CONWAY

The tech community is a closely knit group, which is why it's so powerful. All of these companie...
RON CONWAY

Social media is here to stay, and the social phenomenon that is bringing this about is consumers'...
RON CONWAY

As the tech industry continues to grow and sprout successful startups across the country, it is impo...
RON CONWAY

Tech people like to stick to their knitting, and they measure their accomplishments by the growth of...
RON CONWAY

I really don't have a lot of interest in national politics, and it's because I'm a skept...
RON CONWAY

Technology does more than delight, entertain and make our lives more convenient, it's also an ag...
RON CONWAY

By welcoming eager, talented workers, we expand America's potential for growth, and our competit...
RON CONWAY

I am most proud of what sfCiti has accomplished with the 'Circle the Schools' program, which...
RON CONWAY

You can't learn to be ambitious and driven.
RON CONWAY

Pinterest is offering consumers a way to discover things on the web, in a serendipitous way, with a ...
RON CONWAY

Anytime is a good time to start a company.
RON CONWAY

The more angels we have in Silicon Valley, the better. We are funding innovation. We are funding the...
RON CONWAY

From my standpoint, we ought to be talking about... how do you make Wisconsin a more attractive plac...
RON JOHNSON

I think now that I'm in the autumn of my life, and I'm getting a chance of having an overvie...
RON PERLMAN

Life is not always like chess. Just because you have the king surrounded, don't think he is not ...
RON LIVINGSTON

It is unclear exactly how many law enforcement agencies are currently using this capability, but it ...
RON WYDEN

No one among us suffers the radical appreciation for coffee that I do. It calls to me, but I have le...
RON CARLSON

I don't think that a mutual fund that invests exclusively in biotech start-ups or invests exclus...
RON CHERNOW

Whether you are just entering the workforce or nearing retirement age, planning for the future is cr...
RON LEWIS

Positive thinking is the key to success in business, education, pro football, anything that you can ...
RON JAWORSKI

I'm honored to have the support of Attorney General Bondi. She has been a champion for constitut...
RON DESANTIS

Once the brokerage house, rather than the bank, became the locus for American savings, that money wo...
RON CHERNOW

A system of capitalism presumes sound money, not fiat money manipulated by a central bank. Capitalis...
RON PAUL

There is technique to it-he is just standing there flexing his arm, and I am standing there making f...
RON LIVINGSTON

The practice of passing bills to find out what is in them represents a Forrest Gump-box of chocolate...
RON DESANTIS

Back a hundred years ago, especially around Woodrow Wilson, what happened in this country is we took...
RON PAUL

Feel pity for those with insecurities that rest heavy on their shoulders. They'll take every opportu...
RON BARATONO

You can't make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious.
RON BURNS

When you hear somebody justifying a war by citing the Almighty, I get a little worried, frankly.
RON REAGAN

Washington's answer to a self-inflicted financial crisis reminded Americans why they so deeply d...
RON FOURNIER

Cliches about supporting the troops are designed to distract from failed policies, policies promoted...
RON PAUL

Close elections tend to break toward the challenger because undecided voters - having held out so lo...
RON FOURNIER

The heartbeat of a football team is the quarterback position and I think everyone who has any intell...
RON JAWORSKI

Most of the scientific community believes that for the full potential of embryonic stem cell researc...
RON KIND

I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice. He doesn't give solicited advice.

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Ron White

I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice. He doesn't give solicited advice.

Ron White

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