It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel lik...
DAVID LETTERMAN The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just ...
DAVID LETTERMAN There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
DAVID LETTERMAN People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sha...
DAVID LETTERMAN We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a let...
DAVID LETTERMAN Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.
DAVID LETTERMAN There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
DAVID LETTERMAN What's the best thing to do if you want to keep your hair when it starts falling out? Put it in a b...
DAVID LETTERMAN I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
DAVID LETTERMAN Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't cal...
DAVID LETTERMAN New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a...
DAVID LETTERMAN There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of gun-related crimes i...
DAVID LETTERMAN There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
DAVID LETTERMAN Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog ven...
DAVID LETTERMAN Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Re...
DAVID LETTERMAN USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of...
DAVID LETTERMAN Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. ...
DAVID LETTERMAN There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverag...
DAVID LETTERMAN Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
DAVID LETTERMAN Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's li...
DAVID LETTERMAN Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
DAVID LETTERMAN Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
DAVID LETTERMAN Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
DAVID LETTERMAN No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it'...
DAVID LETTERMAN Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with ...
DAVID LETTERMAN Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!
DAVID LETTERMAN New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn's make a...
DAVID LETTERMAN Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
DAVID LETTERMAN Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
DAVID LETTERMAN I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
DAVID LETTERMAN Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
DAVID LETTERMAN President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, we...
DAVID LETTERMAN Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
DAVID LETTERMAN Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anyt...
DAVID LETTERMAN Yesterday the Iraqis and U.S. troops pulled down a giant statue of Saddam Hussein. They pull it down...
DAVID LETTERMAN Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything...
DAVID LETTERMAN People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing...
DAVID LETTERMAN There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you...
DAVID LETTERMAN such wit, charm, intelligence and grace.
DAVID LETTERMAN He was a poet and a storyteller and a good friend of ours. We all knew this was coming, hoping that ...
DAVID LETTERMAN Johnny Carson's star never cooled,
DAVID LETTERMAN Good news, ladies and gentlemen; we have finally located weapons of mass destruction. ... It's Dick ...
DAVID LETTERMAN I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you...
DAVID LETTERMAN possibly the most shameful situation that I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some ...
DAVID LETTERMAN A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For ex...
DAVID LETTERMAN I guess we're all excited that President Bush announced his nomination to the Supreme Court - John R...
DAVID LETTERMAN Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing ...
DAVID LETTERMAN the Bush administration is getting ready to ignore it.
DAVID LETTERMAN We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is...
DAVID LETTERMAN Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.
DAVID LETTERMAN The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then ...
DAVID LETTERMAN Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's a...
DAVID LETTERMAN I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
DAVID LETTERMAN This just gives you an idea of what a big, big star this really is. She's huge. Put bygones behind u...
DAVID LETTERMAN Coming back through the airport, he did not have to spend much time going through the metal detector...
DAVID LETTERMAN No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's l...
DAVID LETTERMAN Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
DAVID LETTERMAN President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
DAVID LETTERMAN In the debate Bush appeared confident, he appeared relaxed, he appeared calm. That's right, he's dri...
DAVID LETTERMAN Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from...
DAVID LETTERMAN We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a let...
DAVID LETTERMAN Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling...
DAVID LETTERMAN Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, eve...
DAVID LETTERMAN And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that...
DAVID LETTERMAN Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now ...
DAVID LETTERMAN The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got...
DAVID LETTERMAN There is no off position on the genius switch.
DAVID LETTERMAN President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
DAVID LETTERMAN A pair of ruby red slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz have been stolen. The thief is ...
DAVID LETTERMAN The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'...
DAVID LETTERMAN Everyone has this sense of togetherness right now. For example, one guy on the subway today, he want...
DAVID LETTERMAN Tip to out-of-town visitors: If you buy something here in New York and want to have it shipped home,...
DAVID LETTERMAN New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
DAVID LETTERMAN Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90...
DAVID LETTERMAN [Carson said] I started out in a gaseous state and then I cooled, ... Johnny Carson's star never coo...
DAVID LETTERMAN This sort of thing has happened in the past. … Do you have trouble controlling your temper?
DAVID LETTERMAN John Kerry made a mistake of saying something embarrassing while a microphone was on. And now he's b...
DAVID LETTERMAN For 30 years, he glimmered to a soft steady brilliance, and to those who got here too late to witnes...
DAVID LETTERMAN Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy w...
DAVID LETTERMAN Today is a big day in TV history. On this day forty-one years ago, the Beverly Hillbillies aired for...
DAVID LETTERMAN I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
DAVID LETTERMAN Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 ho...
DAVID LETTERMAN Charlton Heston admitted he had a drinking problem, and I said to myself, "Thank God this guy doesn'...
DAVID LETTERMAN He has been greatly missed since his retirement ... Thank God for videotapes and DVDs. In this regar...
DAVID LETTERMAN Johnny Carson's star never cooled.
DAVID LETTERMAN And hold on, I'm sure they're pissed off about something.
DAVID LETTERMAN Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
DAVID LETTERMAN Look at me! Honest to God!
DAVID LETTERMAN This just gives you an idea of what a big, big star this really is, ... She's huge. Put bygones behi...
DAVID LETTERMAN This win today has so many interesting, worthy facets, ... Bobby touched on Buddy coming in, getting...
DAVID LETTERMAN What a big night that is going to be -- not only for us, not only for Oprah, but for Broadway.
DAVID LETTERMAN I can't thank you enough. It means a great deal to me, and I'm just very happy you're here.
DAVID LETTERMAN It is a sad day for his family and for the country,
DAVID LETTERMAN All of us who came after are pretenders. We will not see the likes of him again.
DAVID LETTERMAN What he has done and his contributions to American culture speak for themselves. He is one of a very...
DAVID LETTERMAN When I was 52, I woke up after eight hours of heart surgery -- that's a big deal, ... I had my firs...
DAVID LETTERMAN I guess when I was a kid, there was no Major League Baseball except in Chicago and Cincinnati,
DAVID LETTERMAN If you are with your running mate on stage and the crowd is cheering, you know, you just say whateve...
DAVID LETTERMAN They have demonstrated superb taste by giving me my own show and it's humbling that they recognize m...
DAVID LETTERMAN There will be no money changing hands, ... The reason I don't need to give Ball State University mon...
DAVID LETTERMAN I know what you're saying ... (Bradley) ain't exactly Robin Williams.
DAVID LETTERMAN Tuesday,
DAVID LETTERMAN Mad About You'' was shot in Hollywood, but several regularly shown Manhattan locations included an a...
DAVID LETTERMAN Hopefully it gives people a little bit of a shot in the arm right now, ... Hopefully this shows to s...
DAVID LETTERMAN For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
DAVID LETTERMAN Grizzly Man.
DAVID LETTERMAN I just thought it was phenomenal. It reminded me of what an influence John was—how strong an influ...
DAVID LETTERMAN [Jay Leno said the Federal Emergency Management Agency head recently appeared at his doorstep and sa...
DAVID LETTERMAN You're just a kid. You're 15 years old and like a world-class golfer, not a professional yet, but so...
DAVID LETTERMAN Day 27 - Bush uses 70,000 gallons of fuel to fly home to deal with the oil crisis,
DAVID LETTERMAN It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody think...
DAVID LETTERMAN The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag.
DAVID LETTERMAN The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dea...
DAVID LETTERMAN The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
DAVID LETTERMAN Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are ...
DAVID LETTERMAN President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
DAVID LETTERMAN As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go ...
DAVID LETTERMAN I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody ...
DAVID LETTERMAN I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
DAVID LETTERMAN If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover.
DAVID LETTERMAN Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
ELMER LETTERMAN The most distinguishing feature of winners is their intensity of purpose.
ALYMER LETTERMAN Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.
ELMER G. LETTERMAN Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
ELMER G. LETTERMAN A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he says someone pushed him.
ELMER G. LETTERMAN Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
ELMER G. LETTERMAN You can't start at the top.
ELMER G. LETTERMAN A man may fall many times, but he won't be a failure until he says that someone pushed him.
ELMER G. LETTERMAN My biggest objection to Marxism has been the presumption that industry should exist at all. I think ...
DAVID DAVID KATZMAN I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've stil...
LARRY DAVID The area where I grew up in Birmingham was very diverse - I was aware of my race but not overly awar...
DAVID HAREWOOD Birmingham people are the salt of the earth, and I've carried that with me all around the world....
DAVID HAREWOOD In the last couple of years I've been facing down a lot of the demons of the past and trying to ...
DAVID COVERDALE George W. Bush: a person who is the ultimate outcome of the American condition. Someone promoted abo...
DAVID LANGE Stories hold conflict and contrast, highs and lows, life and death, and the human struggle and all k...
DAVID LYNCH Studying consciousness tells us more about how the world is fundamentally strange. I think we have a...
DAVID CHALMERS Thought is the wind and knowledge the sail.
DAVID HARE The Doctor' is the kind of character - because the guest cast is changing all the time, there ar...
DAVID TENNANT Bilingualism lets you have your cake and eat it. The new language opens the doors to the best jobs i...
DAVID CRYSTAL I can mention many moments that were unforgettable and revelatory. But the most single revelatory th...
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH Being dyslexic, I was told that I was an idiot all the time.
DAVID BAILEY Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and le...
DAVID BAILEY The first half of the 20th century belongs to Picasso, and the second half is about photography. The...
DAVID BAILEY I always go for simplicity.
DAVID BAILEY I didn't try and do fashion pictures. I tried to do portraits of girls wearing dresses.
DAVID BAILEY All I could do at school was paint and draw and that was the only time I ever passed any exam. It wa...
DAVID BAILEY You can't really copy what I do because I don't do anything.
DAVID BAILEY I hate being so nostalgic about the Sixties.
DAVID BAILEY People want security in this insecure world.
DAVID BAILEY I don't think my work does reflect my nationality - I don't like the idea of nationalism.
DAVID BAILEY It's not about composition. It's the way you feel about how your objects should relate to ea...
DAVID BAILEY Girls are more attractive to me than dresses.
DAVID BAILEY Rockers are the nicest people to photograph. They have no inhibitions.
DAVID BAILEY Being trendy is dangerous. I've never been trendy, which is why I've never really fallen out...
DAVID BAILEY I don't see the point of photographing trees or rocks because they're there and anyone can p...
DAVID BAILEY If you're curious, London's an amazing place.
DAVID BAILEY I was surrounded by strong women so it had never even occurred to me that women were anything other ...
DAVID BAILEY The skull is nature's sculpture.
DAVID BAILEY Anybody can be a great photographer if they zoom in enough on what they love.
DAVID BAILEY Being handsome wasn't much of a burden. It worked for me.
DAVID BAILEY Everything I read about hitting a midlife crisis was true. I had such a struggle letting go of youth...
DAVID BOWIE I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood...
LARRY DAVID You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things i...
DAVID BOWIE People use irony as a defense mechanism.
DAVID BYRNE Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and ...
DAVID BYRNE I certainly agree that putting everything into little genres is counterproductive. You're not go...
DAVID BYRNE Analysis is like a lobotomy. Who wants to have all their edges shaved off?
DAVID BYRNE I knew I wanted to have a doll of myself on the cover. I thought, I wanna see myself as a Ken doll.
DAVID BYRNE I've been in beautiful landscapes where one is tempted to whip out a camera and take a picture. ...
DAVID BYRNE That's the thing about pictures: they seduce you.
DAVID BYRNE Deep down, I know I have this intuition or instinct that a lot of creative people have, that their d...
DAVID BYRNE If anything, a lot of electronic music is music that no one listens to at home, hardly. It's rea...
DAVID BYRNE My favorite time of day is to get up and eat leftovers from dinner, especially spicy food.
DAVID BYRNE On a bike, being just slightly above pedestrian and car eye level, one gets a perfect view of the go...
DAVID BYRNE I never listen to the radio unless I rent a car.
DAVID BYRNE The arts don't exist in isolation.
DAVID BYRNE There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide ex...
DAVID BYRNE Real beauty knocks you a little bit off kilter.
DAVID BYRNE Do I wear a helmet? Ugh. I do when I'm riding through a precarious part of town, meaning Midtown...
DAVID BYRNE Cycling is a joy and faster than many other modes of transport, depending on the time of day. It cle...
DAVID BYRNE You can know or not know how a car runs and still enjoy riding in a car.
DAVID BYRNE You create a community with music, not just at concerts but by talking about it with your friends.
DAVID BYRNE Cycling can be lonely, but in a good way. It gives you a moment to breathe and think, and get away f...
DAVID BYRNE Everything's intentional. It's just filling in the dots.
DAVID BYRNE I like time off. I'm not a workaholic.
DAVID THEWLIS I've had an awful lot of good fortune.
DAVID CASSIDY Every day is a blessing - not to get too schmaltzy, but, really, it is.
DAVID CASSIDY What happened to me during the last couple of years of 'The Partridge Family' was I became s...
DAVID CASSIDY There were times when I was a joke, but talent survives.
DAVID CASSIDY You can't be 24 again; you can't be new when you're 40 years old.
DAVID CASSIDY Most people view success by the results, and I don't.
DAVID CASSIDY I think of my career as something apart from myself.
DAVID CASSIDY You know, many people who become famous and enjoy great success when they're young disappear aft...
DAVID CASSIDY I wouldn't want to play anything bigger than 10,000 again. I think it's too much, and you lo...
DAVID CASSIDY Let me tell you, 10,000 is an intimate room. Believe me. I want to be able to connect to everybody i...
DAVID CASSIDY When you cut your life into a film - 90-some minutes of film - you end up taking snapshots and vigne...
DAVID CASSIDY Until I really dealt with a lot of the demons in my life - the fear and self-doubt and unresolved is...
DAVID CASSIDY I gave up my whole life to my career.
DAVID CASSIDY Just getting your name in the papers and having people talk about you is not always a good thing.
DAVID CASSIDY