I chose the truth as my friend when I was twelve. He's been a good friend for sixty years. Not once has he asked that I worship, serve or give him money.

I don’t believe the world can be changed simply because, like the alcoholic likes the effect of alcohol, the liar finds tranquility in his or her lies. Therefore, I’ll go with nature that finds no shame in the truth.

If you lie to your mate and children and ever wonder why the world is full of liars, thieves and murderers, go look in a mirror.

I really adore people who can look at bullshit and see fertilizer.

Science, yes, even astrology is better than religion. I mean, it's possible to see the planets, even go to them and touch them. To each his own, but moon dust gives me far more hope than Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or this Jesus Christ.

Even though the media has dubbed me America's most controversial writer, occasionally my words find an open mind and I end up with a new friend, and at least on that day, I win.