I can't tell if that's funny or really scary.


Calvin & Hobbes

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CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card.
HOBBES: From Susie Derkins!
CALVIN: ...
BILL WATTERSON
Yo, thats illogical I cant have it!
NICK JONAS
Calvin: "I read this library book you got me."
Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?"
C...
BILL WATTERSON
I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your li...
BILL WATTERSON
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
BILL WATTERSON
[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.]
Calvin: Ha! I've got a great word and it's on a "Dou...
BILL WATTERSON
I hate Calvin and Hobbes. I think its a big re-hash of formula kid strips.
BILL GRIFFITH
Bill Watterson, creator of the extremely popular 'Calvin and Hobbes,' did know when to quit ...
RON GOULART
I never felt ostracized or made to feel strange by obsessing over 'The Onion' or 'Calvin...
SIMON RICH
This is where dad burried the little raccoon.
I don't even know he existed a few days ago and n...
BILL WATTERSON
Watcha doin'?”
“Looking for frogs.”
“How come?”
“I must follow the inscru...
BILL WATTERSON
Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle.
She says we don't r...
BILL WATTERSON
Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON
I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or i...
BILL WATTERSON
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the probl...
BILL WATTERSON
Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you...
BILL WATTERSON
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin...
BILL WATTERSON
I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose
BILL WATTERSON
Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.
BILL WATTERSON
Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.
BILL WATTERSON
Today for show & tell, I've brought in some flash cards I made. Each card has a letter followed ...
BILL WATTERSON
How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food and beer conglomerate...
BILL WATTERSON
I'm leaking brain lubricant.
BILL WATTERSON
Oh lovely snowball, packed with care, smack a head that's unaware! Then with freezing ice to spare, ...
BILL WATTERSON
My book is called, "Shut Up And Stop Whining: How To Do Something With Your Life Besides Think About...
BILL WATTERSON
Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.
BILL WATTERSON
It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world.…unless you like si...
BILL WATTERSON
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.
BILL WATTERSON
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
BILL WATTERSON
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstei...
BILL WATTERSON
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
BILL WATTERSON
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
CALVIN & HOBBES
A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
BILL WATTERSON
I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.
BILL WATTERSON
- "I've been thinking Hobbes --"- "On a weekend?"- "Well, it wasn't on purpose..."
CALVIN & HOBBES
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?
Calvin: No, but I can recite t...
BILL WATTERSON
Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.
BILL WATTERSON
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a new...
BILL WATTERSON
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
BILL WATTERSON
The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
BILL WATTERSON
I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
BILL WATTERSON
Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan
when his dad said "Eat your peas."
Ba...
BILL WATTERSON
Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!
CALVIN & HOBBES
If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20...
BILL WATTERSON
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
BILL WATTERSON
Reality continues to ruin my life.
BILL WATTERSON
Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?
BILL WATTERSON
I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
BILL WATTERSON
Everyone says how Calvin and Hobbes is about a real kid, to me there's nothing real about it; it's a...
BILL GRIFFITH
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
BILL WATTERSON
Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

-Hobbes
BILL WATTERSON
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when y...
BILL WATTERSON
I had a few comics, but I was by no means a huge aficionado. I was more of a 'Mad Magazine,'...
ROBIN LORD TAYLOR
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up wi...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Tell me I cant, I won't hear you.
AMARE STOUDEMIRE
I cant tell you how pleased I am,
GRAEME SOUNESS
Calvin and Hobbes are the only two characters from my childhood reading that I return to with any re...
ANTHONY MARRA
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
BILL WATTERSON
Maybe then I can finish my book.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
BILL WATTERSON
Genius is never understood in its own time.
BILL WATTERSON
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
BILL WATTERSON
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell som...
DEMETRI MARTIN
[At first, I just randomly turned the pages. Page 95, Volume 1, Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under ...
CALVIN HOBBES
[At first, I just randomly turned the pages. Page 95, Volume 1, Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under ...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
CALVIN & HOBBES
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
BILLY WILDER
I tell families frankly that I don't see [chelation] as benign and it's really very scary to me,
CYNTHIA JOHNSON
I tell families frankly that I don't see (chelation) as benign and it's really very scary to me,
CYNTHIA JOHNSON
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
CALVIN & HOBBES
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add ...
BILL WATTERSON
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero
CALVIN & HOBBES
You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

'That's why animals are s...
BILL WATTERSON
I try to make everyone's day just a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON
Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"...
BILL WATTERSON
CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the ...
BILL WATTERSON
Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, c...
PUBLIUS CORNELIUS TACITUS
Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, c...
PROVERB
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. -What mood is th...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of th...
CALVIN & HOBBES
One way to tell if you're really comfortable with a person is if you can be quiet together sometimes...
PHYLLIS REYNOLDS NAYLOR
The secret to life is...a secret so i cant tell you
GEMIMAH S. COLLIWALD CORNILIA*
If I may paraphrase Ho...
THOMAS HENRY HUXLEY
If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.
BILLY WILDER
It's hard to think of another body of work that is more universally beloved - I don't think ...
ANTHONY MARRA
I don't really approach stories to make them different from other stuff I've seen, I just tr...
SAM RAIMI
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Everyone says how Calvin and Hobbes is about a real kid, to me there's nothing real about it; it...
BILL GRIFFITH
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Unfortunately for my report, mom caught me and I didn't get to see how it ended.
CALVIN & HOBBES
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
BILLY WILDER
She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me w...
GAYLE FORMAN
If i cant then who can?
AJITH BSC MBA
you cant win in life if you cant fail
VITA NEDERLOE
It's lost on me. I can just about tell if it's got a jet engine or one of those funny things on the ...
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH
I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say h...
SHASHANKBISHT
You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer.
I DONT KNOW
I refuse to be your puppet, you cant tell me, brainwash me,label me, i am me.
HANNAH HOWITT
For the uninitiated, 'Calvin and Hobbes' is a daily comic strip detailing the antics of an u...
ANTHONY MARRA
The books are funny, scary, sexy, romantic, bizarre and really fun, ... I couldn't put them down. I ...
ALAN BALL

More Calvin & Hobbes

-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. -What mood is th...
CALVIN HOBBES
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
CALVIN HOBBES
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that non...
CALVIN HOBBES
[At first, I just randomly turned the pages. Page 95, Volume 1, Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under ...
CALVIN HOBBES
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up wi...
CALVIN HOBBES
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
CALVIN HOBBES
Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.
CALVIN HOBBES
#VALUE!
CALVIN HOBBES
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are...
CALVIN HOBBES
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of th...
CALVIN HOBBES
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
CALVIN & HOBBES
I wonder if I can grow fangs when my baby teeth fall out.
CALVIN & HOBBES
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero
CALVIN & HOBBES
Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!
CALVIN & HOBBES
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
CALVIN & HOBBES
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the probl...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
CALVIN & HOBBES
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'...
CALVIN & HOBBES
- "I've been thinking Hobbes --"- "On a weekend?"- "Well, it wasn't on purpose..."
CALVIN & HOBBES
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.
CALVIN & HOBBES
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up wi...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
CALVIN & HOBBES
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Maybe then I can finish my book.
CALVIN & HOBBES
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has or...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that non...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Unfortunately for my report, mom caught me and I didn't get to see how it ended.
CALVIN & HOBBES
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. -What mood is th...
CALVIN & HOBBES
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be to...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of th...
CALVIN & HOBBES
[At first, I just randomly turned the pages. Page 95, Volume 1, Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under ...
CALVIN & HOBBES
- "I've been thinking Hobbes --"- "On a weekend?"- "Well, it wasn't on purpose..."
CALVIN & HOBBES
Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
CALVIN & HOBBES
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood ...
CALVIN & HOBBES
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are...
CALVIN & HOBBES
So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon ...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your hea...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Mothers of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young
CALVIN & HOBBES
Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of th...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that non...
CALVIN & HOBBES
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero
CALVIN & HOBBES
- "I've been thinking Hobbes --"
- "On a weekend?"
- "Well, it wasn't on purpose..."
CALVIN & HOBBES
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has or...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
CALVIN & HOBBES
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up wi...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.
CALVIN & HOBBES
Staying up all night is a waste of sleeping, and a waste of sleeping is a waste of dreaming, and dre...
CALVIN & HOBBES
To dream of a person you would like to be is to waste the person you are
CALVIN & HOBBES
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be to...
CALVIN & HOBBES
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you...
CALVIN & HOBBES
Unfortunately for my report, mom caught me and I didn't get to see how it ended.
CALVIN & HOBBES
I think we dream so we don't have to be away from one another. If we're in each other's dreams, we'...
HOBBES
The disembodied spirit is immortal; there is nothing of it that can grow old or die. But the embodie...
THOMAS HOBBES
Curiosity is the lust of the mind.
THOMAS HOBBES
There is no such thing as perpetual tranquillity of mind while we live here; because life itself is ...
THOMAS HOBBES
No man's error becomes his own Law; nor obliges him to persist in it.
THOMAS HOBBES
Not believing in force is the same as not believing in gravitation.
THOMAS HOBBES
Sudden glory is the passion which maketh those grimaces called laughter.
THOMAS HOBBES
Words are the money of fools.
THOMAS HOBBES
I put for the general inclination of all mankind, a perpetual and restless desire of power after pow...
THOMAS HOBBES
The obligation of subjects to the sovereign is understood to last as long, and no longer, than the p...
THOMAS HOBBES
Force and fraud are in war the two cardinal virtues.
THOMAS HOBBES
The "value" or "worth" of a man is, as of all other things, his price; that is to say, so much as w...
THOMAS HOBBES
Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or mo...
THOMAS HOBBES
Give an inch, he'll take an ell.
THOMAS HOBBES
No mans error becomes his own Law; nor obliges him to persist in it.
THOMAS HOBBES
There is no such thing as perpetual tranquility of mind, while we live here; because life itself is ...
THOMAS HOBBES
Man is distinguished, not only by his reason; but also by this singular passion from other animals.....
THOMAS HOBBES
Pleasure therefore, (or Delight,) is the appearance or sense of Good; and Molestation or Displeasure...
THOMAS HOBBES
Laughter is nothing else but a sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ...
THOMAS HOBBES
The praise of ancient authors proceeds not from the reverence of the dead, but from the competition ...
THOMAS HOBBES
War consisteth not in battle only, or the act of fighting; but in a tract of time, wherein the will ...
THOMAS HOBBES
A man's conscience and his judgment is the same thing; and as the judgment, so also the conscience, ...
THOMAS HOBBES
Desire to know why, and how -- curiosity, which is a lust of the mind, that a perseverance of deligh...
THOMAS HOBBES
The flesh endures the storms of the present alone; the mind, those of the past and future as well as...
THOMAS HOBBES
In the state of nature profit is the measure of right.
THOMAS HOBBES
Sudden glory is the passion which makes those grimaces called laughter.
THOMAS HOBBES
I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
THOMAS HOBBES
Prudence is but experience, which equal time, equally bestows on all men, in those things they equal...
THOMAS HOBBES
The privilege of absurdity; to which no living creature is subject, but man only.
THOMAS HOBBES
Science is the knowledge of consequences, and dependence of one fact upon another.
THOMAS HOBBES
The privilege of absurdity; to which no living creature is subject but man only.
THOMAS HOBBES
The privilege of absurdity, to which no living creature is subject but men only.
THOMAS HOBBES
Leisure is the mother of Philosophy.
THOMAS HOBBES
For it is with the mysteries of our religion, as with wholesome pills for the sick, which swallowed ...
THOMAS HOBBES
Science is the knowledge of consequences, and dependence of one fact upon another. •Thomas Hobbe...
THOMAS HOBBES
Setting themselves against reason, as often as reason is against them.
THOMAS HOBBES
Appetite, with an opinion of attaining, is called hope; the same, without such opinion, despair.
THOMAS HOBBES
That a man be willing, when others are so too, as far forth as for peace and defense of himself he s...
THOMAS HOBBES
It is not wisdom but Authority that makes a law.
THOMAS HOBBES
The condition of man... is a condition of war of everyone against everyone.
THOMAS HOBBES
The right of nature... is the liberty each man hath to use his own power, as he will himself, for th...
THOMAS HOBBES
When all the world is overcharged with inhabitants, then the last remedy of all is war, which provid...
THOMAS HOBBES
He that is taken and put into prison or chains is not conquered, though overcome; for he is still an...
THOMAS HOBBES
The secret thoughts of a man run over all things, holy, profane, clean, obscene, grave, and light, w...
THOMAS HOBBES
During the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that conditions...
THOMAS HOBBES
A man cannot lay down the right of resisting them that assault him by force, to take away his life.
THOMAS HOBBES
Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ou...
THOMAS HOBBES
They that approve a private opinion, call it opinion; but they that dislike it, heresy; and yet here...
THOMAS HOBBES
All generous minds have a horror of what are commonly called 'Facts'. They are the brute bea...
THOMAS HOBBES
Silence is sometimes an argument of Consent
THOMAS HOBBES
The Papacy is not other than the Ghost of the deceased Roman Empire, sitting crowned upon the grave ...
THOMAS HOBBES
Now I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
THOMAS HOBBES
They that approve a private opinion, call it opinion; but they that dislike it, heresy; and yet here...
THOMAS HOBBES
Understanding is nothing else than conception caused by speech.
THOMAS HOBBES
The life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
THOMAS HOBBES
How could a state be governed, or protected in its foreign relations if every individual remained fr...
THOMAS HOBBES
Government is necessary, not because man is naturally bad... but because man is by nature more indiv...
THOMAS HOBBES
Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more...
THOMAS HOBBES
Force, and fraud, are in war the two cardinal virtues.
THOMAS HOBBES
Words are wise men's counters, they do but reckon by them: but they are the money of fools.
THOMAS HOBBES
Covenants, without the sword, are but words, and of no strength to secure a man at all. The bonds of...
THOMAS HOBBES
Hell is truth seen too late.
THOMAS HOBBES
Desire to know why, and how - curiosity, which is a lust of the mind, that a perseverance of delight...
THOMAS HOBBES
As a draft-animal is yoked in a wagon, even so the spirit is yoked in this body.
THOMAS HOBBES
The power of a man, to take it universally, is his present means, to obtain some future apparent goo...
THOMAS HOBBES
No man's error becomes his own Law; nor obliges him to persist in it.
THOMAS HOBBES
Words are wise men's counters, they do but reckon by them: But they are the money of fools, that val...
THOMAS HOBBES
All generous minds have a horror of what are commonly called "Facts". They are the brute beasts of t...
THOMAS HOBBES
The science which teacheth arts and handicrafts is merely science for the gaining of a living; but t...
THOMAS HOBBES
I am about to take my last voyage. A great leap in the dark.
THOMAS HOBBES
The condition of man . . . is a condition of war of everyone against everyone.
THOMAS HOBBES
The privilege of absurdity; to which no living creature is subject but man only
THOMAS HOBBES
It is not wisdom but Authority that makes a law
THOMAS HOBBES
No arts; no letters; no society; and which is worst of all, continual fear and danger of violent dea...
THOMAS HOBBES
Opinion of ghosts, ignorance of second causes, devotion to what men fear, and talking of things casu...
THOMAS HOBBES
Scientia potentia est.

Knowledge is power.
THOMAS HOBBES
So that in the nature of man,
we find three principal causes of quarrel:

First, Comp...
THOMAS HOBBES
For, from the time that the Bishop of Rome had gotten to be acknowledged for bishop universal, by pr...
THOMAS HOBBES
Felicity is a continual progress of the desire, from one object to another; the attaining of the for...
THOMAS HOBBES
A wise man should so write (though in words understood by all men) that wise men only should be able...
THOMAS HOBBES
The source of every crime, is some defect of the understanding; or some error in reasoning; or some ...
THOMAS HOBBES
Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call Destiny.
JOHN OLIVER HOBBES
Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny.
JOHN OLIVER HOBBES
When a man forgets his ideals, he may hope for happiness, but not till then
JOHN OLIVER HOBBES
A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly ...
JOHN OLIVER HOBBES
Seeing that a Pilot steers the ship in which we sail, who will never allow us to perish even in the ...
JOHN CALVIN
The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural.
CALVIN KLEIN
We do not need more intellectual power, we need more spiritual power. We do not need more of the thi...
CALVIN COOLIDGE
Don't expect to build up the weak by pulling down the strong.
CALVIN COOLIDGE
To throw a shoe at a man in Dundee is the equivalent of a kiss on the cheek and an embrace in London...
CALVIN HARRIS
However many blessings we expect from God, His infinite liberality will always exceed all our wishes...
JOHN CALVIN
I have legendary massive breakfasts at hotels. I don't hold back. I'll get there at 7A.M. an...
CALVIN HARRIS
People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues...
CALVIN TRILLIN
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
CALVIN TRILLIN
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't ge...
CALVIN TRILLIN
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not f...
CALVIN TRILLIN
There's always a source for humor.
CALVIN TRILLIN
I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
CALVIN TRILLIN
What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it ...
CALVIN TRILLIN
The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just th...
CALVIN TRILLIN
When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.
CALVIN TRILLIN
I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
CALVIN TRILLIN
What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
CALVIN TRILLIN
The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.
CALVIN TRILLIN
When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.
CALVIN TRILLIN
Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.
CALVIN TRILLIN
You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poe...
CALVIN TRILLIN
I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant m...
CALVIN TRILLIN
When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the ...
CALVIN TRILLIN
I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
CALVIN TRILLIN
I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.
CALVIN TRILLIN
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like ...
CALVIN TRILLIN
I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.
CALVIN TRILLIN
I personally would not have plastic surgery. What the hell for? It looks ridiculous.
CALVIN KLEIN
Traditionally, the sample is always better than the stock you deliver to the store.
CALVIN KLEIN
I don't always want my opinion known. What little privacy I have left I'd like to maintain.
CALVIN KLEIN
It seems there's always another rumor about my life; some people are simply talked about more th...
CALVIN KLEIN
I'm more offended when someone's killed on television than when there's something that&#...
CALVIN KLEIN
I don't think about my fame very much.
CALVIN KLEIN
AIDS is an absolutely tragic disease. The argument about AIDS' being some kind of divine retribu...
CALVIN KLEIN
I certainly feel that an adult woman has a right to determine what happens to her life and body.
CALVIN KLEIN
Levi's can produce many more Western jeans than we can and make them at a better price.
CALVIN KLEIN
I love women. I'm trying to do beautiful things with them. I'm not trying to insult them. My...
CALVIN KLEIN
I still drink vodka; I'm not an advocate of drinking, but I'm no angel. I don't like gra...
CALVIN KLEIN
I'm in a business where no one cares about anything except how well your last collection sold.
CALVIN KLEIN
I've been strong and determined all my life about many things I've wanted.
CALVIN KLEIN
I think there's something incredibly sexy about a woman wearing her boyfriend's T-shirt and ...
CALVIN KLEIN
I won't allow myself to have tremendous fear.
CALVIN KLEIN
If you really love someone and care about him, you can survive many difficulties.
CALVIN KLEIN
I don't dwell on success. Maybe that's one reason I'm successful.
CALVIN KLEIN
You don't only worry about the people who hate or resent you; in a way, you're more worried ...
CALVIN KLEIN
It's fun seeing my label on someone's behind - I like that.
CALVIN KLEIN
Commercials capture your attention, that's all.
CALVIN KLEIN
I have the reputation of being easygoing. But inside, I'm like nails. I will kill.
CALVIN KLEIN
I'm crazy, and I don't pretend to be anything else.
CALVIN KLEIN
The team doctor, the team trainers, they work for the team. And I love 'em, you know. They'r...
CALVIN JOHNSON
It's simple to get a concussion, you know. I don't know how many I've had over my career...
CALVIN JOHNSON
Concussions happen. If not on every play, then they happen like every other, every third play, you k...
CALVIN JOHNSON
If I was to keep playing, I had to play in Detroit, and it just wasn't for me anymore.
CALVIN JOHNSON
You know what's funny? There's times when you catch a ball and really didn't even see th...
CALVIN JOHNSON
I'm just a worker.
CALVIN JOHNSON