I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force

The Jabalites .... They worship no god; and if we in goodness of heart do send a missionary to show them the way of life, they listen with respect to all he hath to say, and then they eat him. This doth tend to hinder the spread of light.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion –- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!