I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

Samson would leave a T-bone steak to go herd sheep.

People... need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'

Well, you know he was just being nice. That was the only steak I had that year.

Some girls want to be a princess when they grow up. I wanted to be in a bad bitch girl gang.

I happen to have some gay friends. And I bet any of them could kick your ass. Hell, if I weren't the embodiment of perfection, they'd probably be able to kick my ass.