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I can change a tire, but I couldn't change a fuse on the computer panel on my car.


Mike O'Malley

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I don't harp on what I could change about the past, because I can't go back and change it. B...
VANILLA ICE I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.
ROY ORBISON Think of it this way: If you got a flat tire, what would you do? Change the tire? Or get out of the ...
JILLIAN MICHAELS My life is what it is, and I can't change it. I can change the future, but I can't do anythi...
ALEX TREBEK I was willing to accept what I couldn't change.
A. P. J. ABDUL KALAM I don't have a formal home recording studio, but I can record tracks on my computer upstairs in ...
HUEY LEWIS The biggest hurdle to writing Fargo Rock City was that I couldn't afford a home computer - I had...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN I have never met a dog I couldn't help; however, I have met humans who weren't willing to ch...
CESAR MILLAN My first car was an '84 Ford Taurus. It caught on fire from me trying to change the fuel pump, s...
T-PAIN I like cars. I know some things. I can change my own car and battery and change my own oil.
NATALIE MARTINEZ I didn't know you had to change diapers so often. I couldn't believe it - we must change the...
STANLEY TUCCI I can still jump on the Tube. I don't want that to change.
LISA SNOWDON I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destinati...
JIMMY DEAN I can't change my personality. I'll always smile, but I'll be more focused.
KATARINA JOHNSON-THOMPSON I was a weed. Such a skinny little weed. I just couldn't put on weight; I couldn't put on mu...
LUKE EVANS There are things I can't force. I must adjust. There are times when the greatest change needed i...
DENIS DIDEROT I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself.
FERDINAND PORSCHE I couldn't tell you in any detail how my computer works. I use it with a layer of automation.
CONRAD WOLFRAM blackmagic on a person http://www.astrodost.com/how-to-do-black-magic-on-a-person blackmagic on a pe...
ASTRODOST I don't think people change; electronics change, the things we have change, but the way we live ...
JUDY BLUME I can´t change my past, or predict my future. But i can shape my present.
ARMIN HOUMAN I do a lot of lectures on survival. I always say you can't change what happened, so have a littl...
JOAN RIVERS Unlike a celebrity, there's nothing I won't try and nothing I won't talk about when it c...
EMILY WEISS I keep my weight low, although you need to be able to move your weight around the race car to change...
JENSON BUTTON I wouldn't change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my...
ETHEL MERMAN I can change my plans. But I can't change my family.
HOLLY SMALE My whole artistic life has always been about change, change, change, move on, move on. It's the ...
PAUL SIMON I always change my hair, but I don't like haircuts!
LEIGHTON MEESTER I couldn't wait to get on the ice. I couldn't wait to get to practice. As a kid, I couldn...
BOBBY ORR People are starting to go on about my weight but I'm not going to change my size because they do...
ADELE I wouldn't change a thing about my family.
WARWICK DAVIS I live a fairly simple life, and that didn't change much after I sold TechCrunch in 2010. I didn...
MICHAEL ARRINGTON The only thing I can't change is the elasticity of my skin.
MARIE HELVIN I don't know why my smile has become a signature pose. I think it's a nice change. I think p...
ARIZONA MUSE I don't worry about the things I can't change.
FERRAN ADRIA I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.
ROY ORBISON I always had a sense of discipline in me. However, there was a time when I couldn't divide my ti...
VIRAT KOHLI I couldn't open up a magazine, you couldn't read a newspaper, you couldn't turn on the T...
MORGAN SPURLOCK Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn&...
KIN HUBBARD You grow up a lot on set, but it doesn't change you.
DAKOTA BLUE RICHARDS Everyone was born with thought and dream...after a lot of time they just gave up. The life went upon...
DEYTH BANGER Being on 'The Following' is constantly flying by the seat of my pants. The story can change ...
VALORIE CURRY We can't take climate change and put it on the back burner. If we don't address climate chan...
CONRAD ANKER For me, not owning a car means I may spend a little extra time on public transportation, but I can u...
LYNN JURICH I can't apply $3 billion in capital to the tech industry. It wouldn't work. But in infrastru...
DUSTIN MOSKOVITZ A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
WINSTON CHURCHILL I can't change my bra size. They're natural! I can work out and I can stay healthy and motiv...
KATE UPTON I can't really change my life to accommodate people who are jealous. I don't see why I shoul...
STING I was on my face. I heard the count from one to 10. I kept telling myself that I had to get up, but ...
ROCKY MARCIANO You can't change what happened. But you can still change what will happen.
SEBASTIAN VETTEL I'm a minimalist Jew, but on Friday night, I celebrate Shabbat. At sundown, we light candles, sa...
JILL SOLOWAY I spend my life essentially alone at a computer. That doesn't change. I have the same challenges eve...
DAN BROWN I hope that through my example, such as my role on 'The West Wing,' I can help change attitu...
MARLEE MATLIN I'll flip a stupid tire. But I ain't running.
BRANTLEY GILBERT I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I ...
ROBERT GOULET I write on a computer. On breaks, I'll make myself green tea. I don't want something too caf...
CHANG-RAE LEE I think a tire was going down on Hamlin's car. He slammed on the brakes and I ran into him hard and ...
JOE NEMECHEK I was always anti-marriage. I didn't understand monogamy. I couldn't figure out how that cou...
MARIA BELLO I haven't got a car or a house. I've got a wife, but I didn't pay for her! I spend all m...
MACKENZIE CROOK I spend a fair amount of time on my computer, but I don't hack into anything. I have to open the...
JASON RITTER I think my dad did legal work for someone who had a Packard Bell 8088, and they couldn't pay him...
JEREMY STOPPELMAN My whole artistic life has always been about change, change, change, move on, move on. It's the only...
PAUL SIMON Was on my last leg, I couldn't even borrow my friend's extra peg.
SLY STONE No, I don't regret anything at this point. That may change on the next phone call, but at the mo...
WILLIAM SHATNER I can't change the world. I have to fix me.
BIJOU PHILLIPS It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I co...
GEORGE LOPEZ I've never been a hands-on dad. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but you can't run a restaur...
GORDON RAMSAY When The Who first started, we were playing blues, and I dug the blues and I knew what I was suppose...
PETE TOWNSHEND I haven't a clue if there is life on other planets but I'd be charmed if we found a unicellu...
TOMMY LEE JONES If a writer I represent gets a bad or unfair review, I suffer. I'm upset and outraged and do eve...
BILL CLEGG I don't believe being gay is something you can change, no more than you can change the color of ...
PATRICIA POLACCO Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already done, you will never progress.
GUNDO MULAUDZI Things today ‘sure ain’t like they used to be’. They’ve changed, moved on, progressed.
FENNEL HUDSON Naturally enough, I couldn't have foreseen the vast sea change which has come upon that scene as...
BRIAN FERNEYHOUGH I didn't want wrestling anymore; I wanted to not want it. But I couldn't get a job anywhere,...
T. J. PERKINS I went jogging up on Mulholland. In the middle of my run I had some form of asthma attack and couldn...
ESAI MORALES I couldn't sustain myself if I skimped on food - I work 16-hour days, I need the energy, I can&#...
FREEMA AGYEMAN Salman will always be that special person in my life because he was able to change my career. I will...
JACQUELINE FERNANDEZ I don't know if my hairstyles reflect that, but I am someone who enjoys change.
COBI JONES I was an artist, I was executive producer on my first album, so I've always had to manage both. ...
JAY-Z If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
MAYA ANGELOU I just feel like I'm such a normal person in an industry that is so chaotic and crazy. I am what...
VICKY MCCLURE I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager.
AISHA TYLER My mind is constantly creating and searching, but I can't make myself put the right words on pap...
TAWNI O'DELL My dad calls me 'Mac' a lot, from 'Mike Tyson's Punch Out' - Little Mac is the m...
MAYER HAWTHORNE I lost my mother and my brother when I was 15 in two separate car accidents. I was doing well at sch...
MANU BENNETT My running style was kind of just head-on, because I couldn't dance.
EARL CAMPBELL In school, my biggest fear was that I couldn't produce emotion on cue.
CHRISTIAN BORLE My older brother gave me a cassette tape of Mr. Bungle, and I couldn't stop listening to it. I u...
DEREK CIANFRANCE I love to dance. I have always been the first on the dance floor, but I'm not teachable. I could...
SIA I drive to clear my mind, like many people do. It's like, once you get in the car, whatever song...
MAREN MORRIS I am a racer. I'm not a race car driver. I am a racer. I race. That's what I do. I don't...
TONY STEWART I don't know why a computer game can't be an art form just as a puppet show or an opera is. ...
FRED SABERHAGEN Time made me change. I gradually woke up to the realization that this is who I am, an author, a publ...
DAVID GUTERSON I think it's a change that I did not intend at the time but it is clear that, from The Flower of...
PEDRO ALMODOVAR As soon as you write about climate change, the first attempt to discredit you is, 'Well, you wro...
NAOMI KLEIN I literally change my phone number 10 times a year and I don't ever save my contacts.
ROB KARDASHIAN I couldn't put my hand on my heart and say I think that being in a relationship is a natural sta...
HUGH GRANT My theory on life is that life is beautiful. Life doesn't change. You have a day, and a night, a...
MOHAMMED BIN RASHID AL MAKTOUM I wish I could pull shorts off. My wife tells me that I just can't. But that's okay. I'm...
ADAM DRIVER

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MIKE D Real life is much stranger than fiction, man.
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MIKE PENCE One day before I die, I will finally understand why liberals, especially Jewish liberals, fail to fu...
MIKE GALLAGHER Protection of religious freedom means considering the faiths and beliefs of everyone involved.
MIKE QUIGLEY The drug dealers, they sympathize with me. They see me as some sort of pathetic character.
MIKE TYSON I know how hard it is to be a woman, especially a black woman.
MIKE TYSON I'm the biggest fighter in the history of the sport. If you don't believe it, check the cash...
MIKE TYSON I think I'll take a bath in his blood.
MIKE TYSON I've lived places these guys can't defecate in.
MIKE TYSON I'm not Mother Teresa, but I'm not Charles Manson, either.
MIKE TYSON Greatness is not guarding yourself from the people; greatness is being accepted by the people.
MIKE TYSON Some people try to get you out of slavery for you to be their slave.
MIKE TYSON When you see me smash somebody's skull, you enjoy it.
MIKE TYSON That equals to being a fool, having fame and no fortune. A lot of guys out there have fame doing thi...
MIKE TYSON Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn't have a cent.
MIKE TYSON I don't try to intimidate anybody before a fight. That's nonsense. I intimidate people by hi...
MIKE TYSON You come home, and you party. But after that, you get a hangover. Everything about that is negative.
MIKE TYSON I don't understand why people would want to get rid of pigeons. They don't bother no one.
MIKE TYSON God lets everything happen for a reason. It's all a learning process, and you have to go from on...
MIKE TYSON Everybody's got plans... until they get hit.
MIKE TYSON As long as we persevere and endure, we can get anything we want.
MIKE TYSON My biggest weakness is my sensitivity. I am too sensitive a person.
MIKE TYSON When I fight someone, I want to break his will. I want to take his manhood. I want to rip out his he...
MIKE TYSON If I went by all the rejection I've had in my career, I should have given up a long time ago.
MIKE MYERS As would-be songwriters, our interest was in black music and black music only. We wanted to write so...
MIKE STOLLER I love Broadway shows.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA For most of the '90s and the first part of this decade, content providers who wanted to publish ...
MIKE DAVIDSON We found a way to make things look great to the human eye through the window of a graphical web brow...
MIKE DAVIDSON I'm the chairman of the intelligence committee. We don't only get formal briefings, but we c...
MIKE ROGERS I have a little pocket Bible that I have with me all the time in my briefcase, and so usually in the...
MIKE HUCKABEE If I dream that I'm directing, it's not a film, it's like a commercial for cotton candy,...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA You can have the best technology, but you if have a corrupted, radicalized, bribed official that has...
MIKE MCCAUL You can have the best technology, but if you have an inside job of a worker that has access to the p...
MIKE MCCAUL Risk is the factor of a stratagem measured by what man is powerless to control.
MIKE NORTON The true measure of a man is not what he dreams, but what he aspires to be; a dream is nothing witho...
MIKE NORTON By sabotaging logic, the common frame of reference, and the common language, we have removed a "safe...
MIKE KLEPPER The reason that most British actors are better than most American actors in the end is that they don...
MIKE NICHOLS We're thrilled to expand our relationship, knowing that with the great team at the Music Group, ...
MIKE CURB In making the jump from a local program to the showcase of a coast-to-coast broadcast, Ted Yates and...
MIKE WALLACE In my home state of Indiana, we prove every day that you can build a growing economy on balanced bud...
MIKE PENCE Budgets are moral documents. Federal funding should reflect the priorities and the values of the maj...
MIKE PENCE I'm still very bullish on emerging markets. There's an emerging middle class. They're a ...
MIKE DUKE Legal and bureaucratic impediments to surveillance should be removed.
MIKE POMPEO To the degree that we can demonstrate support for the Ukrainian government, we can change Putin'...
MIKE POMPEO Honest to goodness, Brian Campbell, he was holding the Cup, and there was no one around for a minute...
MIKE QUIGLEY Negative campaigning is wrong.
MIKE PENCE I think you need a really strong businessperson running the state, a person who's used to turnin...
MIKE CURB There's no doubt West Point impacted who I am... It has an enormous emphasis, not only on milita...
MIKE POMPEO A great thing is happening on cable TV. You see characters change in stories over years, like in Tol...
MIKE NICHOLS Beauty and the Beast seemed like it all was really brown. The whole thing was just so brown and oran...
MIKE JUDGE Well, I think the reality is that as you study - when President Kennedy cut marginal tax rates, when...
MIKE PENCE Remember, the Boston bombers were Chechen rebels.
MIKE MCCAUL If a natural disaster like a flock of birds or a bolt of lightning causes a plane's engines to f...
MIKE GALLAGHER Cardinal Raymond Burke is a 66-year-old guy who lives in Rome, dresses like Queen Elizabeth, and tal...
MIKE BARNICLE Justin Timberlake is the single most talented human being I've ever met in my life, and it sicke...
MIKE MYERS Money, the root of all evil...but the cure for all sadness.
MIKE GILL I've loved traveling around the country and meeting people at book signings.
MIKE GALLAGHER I think I make films to help bolster and feed the part of me that wants to remain in a positive rela...
MIKE MILLS Boldness isn't something you're born with; you either choose it or you don't.
MIKE YACONELLI I was very much a late bloomer. That's not to say that girls didn't express interest in me f...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Denver and Boulder are good record-buying cities. I don't know why.
MIKE D The real acts of a real devil you know have been made acceptable by the fictitious actions of a none...
MIKE KLEPPER Yahweh: You've been unhappy because you've desired things that cannot be.

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MIKE CAREY While that amendment failed, human cloning continues to advance and the breakthrough in this unethic...
MIKE PENCE One of my favourite movies is 'Annie Hall' because it's about the silver lining of the b...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I try to listen to as much different music as possible - I've always got music blasting in my ea...
MIKE POSNER KISS Psycho Circus is my current favorite. I'm not ashamed to say that I prefer the mindless fun...
MIKE WILSON 'Streetcar' is no longer about the moment at all. There is no Blanche DuBois anywhere; south...
MIKE NICHOLS What's the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In 6 weeks, the puppy will st...
MIKE DITKA You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.
MIKE MURDOCK What you hear repeatedly you will eventually believe.
MIKE MURDOCK I think blogging, by and large, is basically therapy. And I'm sure, and I know, that there are s...
MIKE BARNICLE I'm unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA It is the right of every sovereign nation to determine who can and who cannot legally enter within i...
MIKE KLEPPER And let's stop calling them "sex offenders," as if their crimes had anything to do with sex. (Perhap...
MIKE LEW The rape of a child is a violent act of contempt, not an expression of sexuality or affection.
MIKE LEW I'm telling you this for one reason and one reason only: No matter how sure you are of someone's lov...
MIKE GAYLE There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to see, yet small enough to solve...
MIKE LEAVITT I've never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is only a temporary sit...
MIKE TODD Solitude is the soil in which genius is planted, creativity grows, and legends bloom; faith in onese...
MIKE NORTON Fall. Stand. Learn. Adapt.
MIKE NORTON Few suffer more than those who refuse to forgive themselves.
MIKE NORTON I'm not trying to prove anybody wrong, I'm just trying to prove something to myself.
MIKE PIAZZA The ones who want to achieve and win championships motivate themselves.
MIKE DITKA I don't think anything is unrealistic if you believe you can do it.
MIKE DITKA You have to be tough.
MIKE DITKA You will always move toward anyone who increases you and away from anyone who makes you less.
MIKE MURDOCK Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
MIKE MURDOCK You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cu...
MIKE TYSON If you are determined enough and willing to pay the price, you can get it done.
MIKE DITKA You're never a loser until you quit trying.
MIKE DITKA I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on ...
MIKE GODWIN Life is like a hand of cards. You have to play the hand you're dealt, you can't win by folding, and ...
MIKE CONNER Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still...
MIKE KALIN If you think about yourself then you've lost sight of the ball.
MIKE WILLESEE I'm scared every time I go into the ring, but it's how you handle it. What you have to do is plant y...
MIKE TYSON I draw most of my religious beliefs from Star Wars.
MIKE DIRNT Anyone who contributes to the defense fund of pornographers is a mental moonbeam.
MIKE ROYKO Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
MIKE BINDER Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. An...
MIKE MYERS What you want to do, and what you can do, is limited only by what you can dream.
MIKE MELVILLE Success isn't measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline an...
MIKE DITKA Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal.
MIKE DITKA For a man who walks in the light, to stay humble is not to walk in the dark; you don't need to proje...
MIKE NORTON As an integral part of the Department of Agriculture, the Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service...
MIKE ROGERS We've waged war on work. We have collectively agreed, stupidly, that work is the enemy.
MIKE ROWE Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I'm a comedic actor, not to mix words, but it's something I think about. A comedic actor. I ...
MIKE MYERS Comedy. It was just huge in my house. Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, Monty Python and all those Ja...
MIKE MYERS Here in Indiana, we run a nationally-recognized program called the Healthy Indiana Plan. The Healthy...
MIKE PENCE The Safe and Affordable Food Labeling Act aims to address unnecessary impediments to feeding the wor...
MIKE POMPEO I keep coming back to it, over and over - adultery and cheating. It's the most interesting probl...
MIKE NICHOLS What is real is that adultery destroys tens of thousands of families every year across America. What...
MIKE PENCE He once had his toes amputated so he could stand closer to the bar.
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MIKE DEWINE Pray a little more, work a little harder, save, wait, be patient and, most of all, live within our m...
MIKE HUCKABEE I grew up in Mobile, Alabama - somebody's got to be from Mobile, right? - and Mobile sits at the...
MIKE DEGRUY Your political reputation affects how likely allies are to trust you, and what kind of deals they...
MIKE SIMPSON There is only one way to solve the alleged crisis of the erosion of 'family values.' And tha...
MIKE ROYKO We simply have to reign in the piggish people and money-hungry lawyers who chase every ambulance the...
MIKE GALLAGHER Just be yourself and be upfront about your expectations and desires. Don't be ambiguous and play...
MIKE POSNER I didn't really experience any hardship like people tend to think of when they hear the words &#...
MIKE POSNER And I thought, when I have kids, that's the sort of well told, silly, and fun fairy tale that I ...
MIKE MYERS When I went to Ann Arbor, University of Michigan, what I really wanted to be was a radio announcer.
MIKE WALLACE Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus,...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA The American flag is the symbol of our freedom, national pride and history.
MIKE FITZPATRICK The American economy has been built and sustained by risk-taking entrepreneurs whose pioneering idea...
MIKE PENCE Our job is to ensure that meat and poultry products are safe, wholesome, accurately labeled for the ...
MIKE JOHANNS It speaks to the incredible risk of doing business with the Islamic Republic of Iran if American com...
MIKE POMPEO New York isn't segregated the way many American cities are, where there are specific ethnic neig...
MIKE D A campaign ought to demonstrate the basic human decency of the candidate. That means your First Amen...
MIKE PENCE The Bible, however, was not created to be amended and altered with each passing culture.
MIKE HUCKABEE Non-commercial general aviation flights serve as a lifeline to thousands of communities where airlin...
MIKE POMPEO School systems now routinely have more administrators than classroom teachers. They have armies of c...
MIKE GALLAGHER I actually had a Bobby Orr action figure. You could put the pads on him and skates and all that. I w...
MIKE WEIR I love playing the Hard Rocks; they've got a great stage, great lighting, great sound, and not s...
MIKE LOVE I used to have acne when I was a kid growing up. You can imagine how serious that was in making you ...
MIKE WALLACE We know how to take care of one another without whining and accusing and belly-aching.
MIKE GALLAGHER I've always wanted to be on a show that's well respected and had critical acclaim and that p...
MIKE COLTER Charleston, South Carolina, is about a 90-minute drive northwest of Beaufort and Parris Island. It i...
MIKE BARNICLE I think your tendency when you play yourself is to accentuate something about you that you think is ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I think my philosophy in music has been to accentuate the positive.
MIKE LOVE There is no progress without risk, and in an environment where change is accelerating, risks are mul...
MIKE MCGAVICK I believe in servant leadership, and the servant always asks, 'Where am I needed most?'
MIKE PENCE I sort of ride the fence on that whole steroid era issue. I don't have a definite opinion like s...
MIKE SCHMIDT I'm a longtime believer in the old adage that sunlight is the best disinfectant, particularly in...
MIKE QUIGLEY If you're Burberry or Gucci, you're not going to run a banner ad. To get brand ad dollars to...
MIKE MCCUE It's one thing for someone to travel over to Syria and Iraq and come back. But, boy, it's a ...
MIKE MCCAUL I am extremely concerned that Syrian and ISIS recruiters can use the Internet at lightning speeds to...
MIKE MCCAUL I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fe...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Pain is funnier than love.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're n...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA With a monologue, you can be unendingly elliptical.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like J...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I'd much rather try and fail than talk about trying.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jo...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don&#...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Sometimes I'll go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people,...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I'm eating pizza. Like, I...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecomin...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA