I blame everything on LIFE!
I was happy being dead until I had a new LIFE!
I was alone, but then I found some friends and we had the time of our LIFE!
I was thirty-nine years old, but as you all know, LIFE begins at forty!
I did something wrong and the judge said he was going to give me another chance at LIFE!
I told him, "Piss Off!" and so he gave me LIFE!
And when I told my friends about my obsession, they all said that I should get a LIFE!
So as you can see, it's all LIFE'S fault!
And it didn't take me a LIFE-time to work that out!