I believe in God... just in case. It's like there's some list somewhere and you don't want to be on it. I don't want to say THERE'S NO GOD! and then die and say, Oh, Hi... Is there some kind of community service I can do?


Mark Maron

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The turning point for me was when the Supreme Court installed Bush in 2000, even though he got half ...
MARK EDWARDS
A true knowledge of ourselves is knowledge of our power.
MARK RUTHERFORD
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN
There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN
Lenders look at potential borrowers from many angles before extending credit: How much of its income...
MARK ZANDI
Too many vital education dollars that should be spent in the classroom are bouncing around in the fe...
MARK KENNEDY
There really isn't anything more refreshing then iced Coke out of the old-school glass bottles.
MARK ZUPAN
Lucifer spoke thus. Pride took him from heaven, though he sat at God's right hand.' Her voice grew f...
MARK LAWRENCE
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN
I brag on the Democratic Party. We're libertarian on social issues, it's live and let live. ...
MARK UDALL
I am quite amazed how, when people earn lots of money, they think they have to spend it on things th...
MARK HADDON
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN
As we all know from the Roman empire, big empires go down if the borders are not well-protected.
MARK RUTTE
He was a psychotic. He was a borderline psychotic. He was a terrific, sensational actor, with a magi...
MARK RYDELL
I've been thinking about the record since I reached the fifty plateau. But you think about it an...
MARK MCGWIRE
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN
Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN
All things being equal, people will do business with a friend; all things being unequal, people will...
MARK MCCORMACK
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN
We’ll have to get you a sword,” I said. “When funds allow.”
Snorri shook his head. “A...
MARK LAWRENCE
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN
Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN