I believe in God... just in case. It's like there's some list somewhere and you don't want to be on it. I don't want to say THERE'S NO GOD! and then die and say, Oh, Hi... Is there some kind of community service I can do?
Mark Maron
Related Theres a good reason I dont believe in God. No one that almighty, powerful, and rightoues, would eve... NICHOLAS RYAN LAYMON Its very beautiful over there. I dont know where there is, but I believe its somewhere, and I hope i... THOMAS EDISON GUERRERO BARBOSA When people say hello to me, I feel like maybe I know them from somewhere, because they say, like, &... DAKOTA FANNING I just want to be in the best shape I can be. Not to stand on that start line and say: 'Oh my Go... PAULA RADCLIFFE Dont GiVe UP iF U StIll WaNna TrY* DonT WIpE YOUR TeARS IF YOU StiLL WANT TO Cry DON'T SET... TRENT REZNOR I dont want the kind of love thats in movies, I want my own kind, LYNDSEY ANN-MARIE SHEPARD All flowers in time bend towards the sun, I know you say theres no one for you, But here is one JEFF BUCKLEY people dont know you till they meet you. dont smile if you dont want to, dont be a false person, don... CAROLINA JANETTE GOMEZ GONZALEZ I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't b... BILLY CONNOLLY Theres no secret to success at Mount Union. You recruit them, you prepare them and then you go out a... DON MONTGOMERY I don't think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusion... BOB DYLAN If I did die, I wasn't going to heaven and say, 'Oh, excuse me, God. Let me wipe my nose, because I ... ASHLEY SMITH Theres no electricity, stuff like that down there. Its a little different. Its going to be crazy. AARON KATZ You know what the Englishman's idea of compromise is? He says, Some people say there is a God. Some ... WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS Do you like being a demographic? Do you like that? Fuck no you dont!! Eventually some motherfucker i... GERARD WAY Within this Christian vision of marriage, here's what it means to fall in love. It is to look at ano... TIMOTHY J. KELLER girl/boy..!! you do it again and again even after saying so many times..!! no no..!! dats it..!! its... FAHEEM IQBAL Dont look back in anger, I heard you say... OASIS When I'm out with my girlfriends at the bar, and I see some young 18-year old boy, just for fun I sa... YASMINE BLEETH You know what the Englishman's idea of compromise is? He says, Some people say there is a God. S... WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS I dont want to be broke down I want to be built up and vice versa I dont want to break down but buil... HEATHER MONTANO Each day is too short for all the things I want to do, and all the people I want to spend some time ... FEMALE IMAGINATION Oh God, I thank God I could see him, I had some closure too, I got to say goodbye. LEONARD JOHNSON I dont believe in luck. Ive only ever felt lucky finding God and even that was not by chance. MEG NEZAJ I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I... BILLY CONNOLLY I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There's no in between. People will either lov... EMINEM i dont like when people say you know when they are in the middle of telling you something to me it g... DALLY SALAD Believe in some beneficent force beyond your own limited self. God, god, god: where are you? I want ... SYLVIA PLATH I believe that people with a sense of humor are the reason that there are emo kids, its kinda like t... NICHOLAS RYAN LAYMON When I'm out with my girlfriends at the bar, and I see some young 18-year old boy, just for fun ... YASMINE BLEETH Life, its so great, but when we act like shit and do shit, then it aint. Why should we act like that... TUPAC SHAKUR I have good idea, for if you meet some person from different religion and he want to make argument a... ELIZABETH GILBERT Every time you say you dont believe in fairies, a fairy dies. PETER PAN You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer. I DONT KNOW Theres no way to be successful in music and be debauched. GREG KOCH i want to be the best i can be but when i cant i'll try my best to achieve my goal my goals in life ... DALLY SALAD I dont believe knowing can save us. What is constant in history is greed and foolishness and a ... CORMAC MCCARTHY We're always taught that God wants us to always only say "I can't do this without You God" , "Whatev... C. JOYBELL C. You have to believe in God before you can say there are things that man was not meant to know. I don... DAVID CRONENBERG the thing is you can get used to anything you think you cant you want to die but you dont you cant y... ELIZABETH SCOTT If you want a marriage made in heaven, you first have to say I do to God. DEBRA ROBERTS [Israel estimates that there are 50 to 75 dealerships, including some of the largest in the state, t... BOB ISRAEL In New York, people are very overbooked.You say, When do you want to have dinner? It's May. They say... FRAN LEBOWITZ I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There's no in between. People will either love yo... EMINEM I just believe if you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? That's just ... STEVE HARVEY Some say he's the best in the country. I just want to go out and wrestle the best and see what I can... TREVIN COWMAN As We Say Life Is A Mystery,Then Dont Chase It,Just Live It. KIM CHOWDHURY O yes youwl want to think on that you dont want your mouf to walk you where your feet dont want to g... RUSSELL HOBAN To avoid sounding like a cliche, I won't say I want to get proposed to in Paris, but Paris. I wa... BETTY WHO Clinton said no president ever who served would talk like that, as if it is out of his hand. Then I ... BOB WOODWARD Sure, I could give advice; I could, say, travel the world, listen to music. But all I can really say... MARK MORRIS Who knows what I want to do? Who knows what anyone wants to do? How can you be sure about something ... DON DELILLO Some say one thing and do another. Others say one thing and do it just for spite. I say far too much... EFRAT CYBULKIEWICZ I dont believe in learning from other peoples pictures. I think you should learn from your own inter... ORSON WELLES I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and ... LEO BUSCAGLIA I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and ... LEO F. BUSCAGLIA Sometimes it's like: If something terrifies you, you should totally do it BECAUSE it terrifies you. ... JONATHAN SACCONE-JOLY Here's the thing, say Shug. The thing I believe. God is inside you and inside everybody else. You co... ALICE WALKER I said....Oh I got it now God : ) All these truths just keep coming to mind....He did say when you a... DEBRA ROBERTS God has given me some pretty good athletic talent and I want to use it to the fullest. As I do well,... BROCK KREITZBURG We dont know what were going to go home to, ... If we dont have anything anymore, Im not sure I want... IAN WILLIAMSON I say I dont sleep with married men, but what I mean is that I dont sleep with happily married men. BRITT EKLAND 6 Ways To Give Your Mind A Break: 1. Stop stressing 2. Stop worrying 3. Give re... GERMANY KENT I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be'... AMY SEDARIS I've seen God heal some people, and then I've seen God didn't heal some. So all we're asked to do is... DAVID HEMPHILL Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some s... J.K. ROWLING Being 300-some pounds is not always healthy. You can say what you want about it, I don't want to... AUSTIN SEFERIAN-JENKINS Oh my God, Green,” I heard Chubs say from somewhere in the room. “Just take the damn socks ... ALEXANDRA BRACKEN Fame is also a test of character at times... Sometimes I pass the test; sometimes I'm a pain in the ... MEG RYAN I kind of thought we would get some to say to take their name out of the pot since we went from A to... JEFF DOZIER Have we forgotten how to communicate? If you have someones number, why do you write them on FB to as... NERISSA IRVING Like 84% of Canadians, I believe in God. STOCKWELL DAY I'm only me. That is all I can be. No more, no
less, dont second guess. I love, I live, I laugh, I
c... OLASOT Assuming theres insurance, there would be no reason not to carry on, ... This just pushes us back on... BOB GOODMAN I'm not condemning people. God's going to do that. I just want to be honest with people. I just want... FRANKLIN GRAHAM I believe art prefers rules. For some artists, the worst thing you can do is say 'Do whatever you wa... LISA MANGUM I just want to say this. I want to say it gently but I want to say it firmly: There is a tendency fo... TONY BLAIR All I really want to do is just keep acting, and some of it will stink, and some of it will be reall... WHOOPI GOLDBERG I open my eyes to see who I can truly be! Now I needa do me! Yea definitely. Its hard to tell the re... LILLIAN S. VILORIA All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it! BOB NEWHART Somewhere out there is a true and living prophet of destruction and I dont want to confront him. I k... CORMAC MCCARTHY God, no. I don’t want to tame her, I want to watch her. I just want to watch her be herself – it... DIANNA HARDY I don't believe in any actual thinking God that marks the fall of every bird in Australia or every b... STEPHEN KING Then when I am sad and understand nothing anymore, I say to myself that it's better to die while you... ERICH MARIA REMARQUE There are countries in Africa who also need our help, but were not there because theres no oil there... JEFF WHITE Oh my God, I don't know what to say. I just don't know what to say. KYLE FENNER I want to set myself as a real legend in the sport, like Phelps and Mark Spitz are remembered worldw... CHAD LE CLOS I don't want to know that you don't want me. I don't want to know what you do without me. I don't wa... SARA QUIN You should be convinced of the authenticity of what you have, but you must also be humble enough to ... MITCH ALBOM i dont want to be compared to britney,ashlee,hilary or lindsay. i want to be compared to me. AVRIL LAVIGNE God is infinitely wealthy. If you see someone with something you want, don't be jealous. Just say to... PAUL SILWAY You can say that you dont care what anyone thinks about you, but in the end, its all that really mat... TIFFANY GARLAND But I believe this: by and large, the United States ought to be able to choose for its President any... DWIGHT D EISENHOWER If you want to be a legend, God help you, it's so easy. You just do one thing. You can be the ma... MIKE NICHOLS All I have to say is basically if performing, singing, acting, and dancing is what you want to do, t... ARIANA GRANDE I believe in love at first sight. You want that connection, and then you want some problems. KEANU REEVES Everybody defines word in different ways,next time i say a word do ask me what it implies and dont j... OLASOT Sometimes, you can learn something completely mind-blowing in yoga and then totally forget about it ... ANNE CLENDENING I began to think about God. I mean, the notion of a Supreme Being existing somewhere began to creep ... ERICH SEGAL I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and ... LEO BUSCAGLIA
More Mark Maron
There are also always those burnt, hard kernels at the bottom that don't pop. You know why they ... MARC MARON I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of perfor... MARC MARON When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all ... MARC MARON Everyone is a little bitter. We're born bitter. The personality itself is really just a very complex... MARC MARON On some level any appearance on Television can be seen as a product endorsement. MARC MARON We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice. MARC MARON Left wing, right wing, I am wingless and tired of trying to fly. Here comes the ground. MARC MARON Surveillance induced morality: relics of cultural retardation. MARC MARON I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's tak... MARC MARON I'm not completely sure we aren't all living in a hallucination now. MARC MARON Every time we start thinking we're the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says wi... MARGARET MARON Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Mi... MARC MARON When I was a young kid I loved Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett and Jackie Vernon. MARC MARON The Internet has usurped the collective unconscious and access to cosmic consciousness has become di... MARC MARON It seems people are more willing to let other people control their minds now and recreational drug u... MARC MARON If you can't afford the good food or if you can't afford health care or if you don't have a job or i... MARC MARON An internal breakthrough is a burden, an external one is a blessing. MARK I'm a city boy. I grew up in a big city, in Birmingham, and I want to write about a city. It'... MARK BILLINGHAM Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN I miss both of my parents terribly every day, but especially as we approach Thanksgiving. We always ... MARK SHRIVER My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN We shall never change our political leaders until we change the people who elect them. MARK SKOUSEN The travel and tourism industry is the lifeblood of many states around the country - including Flori... MARK FOLEY The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN When Facebook was getting started, nothing used real identity - everything was anonymous or pseudony... MARK ZUCKERBERG Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But mos... MARK WARNER There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN I wear the same outfit or, at least, a different copy of it almost every day. MARK ZUCKERBERG The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN There was a point when I was 15 or 16 that I realized that my father wanted me to be a loner. I deci... MARK VONNEGUT There is plenty of blame to go around for the U.S. housing bubble, but not much of it belongs to Fan... MARK ZANDI Human cultural diversity is vast; the range of cultural practices, beliefs, and languages that we sp... MARK PAGEL I made my name and reputation DJing in hip-hop clubs in New York. 'Celebrity DJ' is a term t... MARK RONSON Kids don't need to be taught the value of making; they are natural makers, at least until tradit... MARK FRAUENFELDER Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN I think a lot of people who say they are bisexual aren't. MARK GATISS Defending birthright citizenship is about being on the right side of liberty. The 14th Amendment is ... MARK MCKINNON If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN I believe we have to nip Ebola in the bud before it spreads through Africa and to other countries. MARK ZUCKERBERG Our prayer and God's mercy are like two buckets in a well; while the one ascends the other desce... MARK HOPKINS Launching a Broadway show is like no other endeavor. It's taxing because you're present - it... MARK HAMILL What? No one wants my bouquet! Somebody better pick it up! Somebody better pick up my bouquet! MARK MCKINNEY To me, all war is failure for humanity, though it often is a bounty for commerce. MARK EDWARDS What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN All workers, whether they are employed in the private or public sector, should avoid living 'pay... MARK SKOUSEN Fear is an underrated emotion. And that's why I think it's very dangerous to try and cosset ... MARK GATISS I have a very dear family and very dear friends. They're my rock. These are people who knew me f... MARK RUFFALO There is no better way to quickly buoy hard-pressed homeowners than helping them take advantage of t... MARK ZANDI I'm nutty bunny number two. I love me and I love you. MARK MCKINNEY Too-easy credit and millions of bad loans made during the U.S. housing bubble paved the way for the ... MARK ZANDI James Cagney, Steve McQueen, I loved all those guys. I grew up loving the movies but had no desire t... MARK WAHLBERG There's a certain way you stand to give yourself authority, which gives you the texture for the ... MARK GODDARD I couldn't have left my career as an actor on a better note than to have done a cameo in the Los... MARK GODDARD I vaguely remember in the '90s when Calvin Klein started making unisex CK1. Don't worry abou... MARK RONSON Well, right now we're so busy that I kind of had to put all the hobbies on hold. But I like goin... MARK KELLY I have traveled down this path before - 'List of Seven' and 'Twin Peaks' both have t... MARK FROST We have pension funds with 1.5 trillion euros investments, and they want to find business opportunit... MARK RUTTE We need not to just kill the boat-smuggling business model: we also need to get rid of this asylum-s... MARK RUTTE We are a mission-driven company. In order to do this, we have to build a great team. And in order to... MARK ZUCKERBERG Potential home buyers have a two-step decision process. First, they determine whether they can affor... MARK ZANDI The best person to get something done is a busy person. MARK BURNETT The Romney candidacy is better than it was four years ago, but it's not clear that it's good... MARK STEYN I don't buy the argument that there can't be a successful independent candidacy for the pres... MARK MCKINNON Having been heavily involved in the planning of a couple of G.O.P. conventions, my view is, we shoul... MARK MCKINNON Mom's dad was in the army, stormed the beach at Normandy, fought through the French hedgerows, t... MARK HOPPUS The Bush tax cuts should be extended permanently for families with annual incomes of less than $250,... MARK ZANDI In my movies, I'm not trying to erase any old image of myself, really. And also I'm not tryi... MARK WAHLBERG When I'm in the middle of making a movie, I have blinders on; it's all about just getting th... MARK WATERS Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN If you're a big celebrity, you get money to be private. I'm just a working stiff. I don'... MARK FUHRMAN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN I remember riding my bike down the boardwalk with nowhere to go and looking at the girls. It was rea... MARK RUFFALO Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN The scientific theroy I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline ... MARK RUSSELL To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN Here's one of my bad habits: when I go to someone's house, I head straight to their bookshel... MARK FRAUENFELDER Whether you do stand-up comedy or write a story, you have a duty to deliver. As a comedian, you walk... MARK BILLINGHAM China is responsible for a lot of the major conservation issues we're facing. It's the main ... MARK CARWARDINE When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN Americans are notoriously ill-equipped for self-reflection. We're usually a very boisterous, out... MARK FROST I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN The turning point for me was when the Supreme Court installed Bush in 2000, even though he got half ... MARK EDWARDS A true knowledge of ourselves is knowledge of our power. MARK RUTHERFORD Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Lenders look at potential borrowers from many angles before extending credit: How much of its income... MARK ZANDI Too many vital education dollars that should be spent in the classroom are bouncing around in the fe... MARK KENNEDY There really isn't anything more refreshing then iced Coke out of the old-school glass bottles. MARK ZUPAN Lucifer spoke thus. Pride took him from heaven, though he sat at God's right hand.' Her voice grew f... MARK LAWRENCE Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN I brag on the Democratic Party. We're libertarian on social issues, it's live and let live. ... MARK UDALL I am quite amazed how, when people earn lots of money, they think they have to spend it on things th... MARK HADDON Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN As we all know from the Roman empire, big empires go down if the borders are not well-protected. MARK RUTTE He was a psychotic. He was a borderline psychotic. He was a terrific, sensational actor, with a magi... MARK RYDELL I've been thinking about the record since I reached the fifty plateau. But you think about it an... MARK MCGWIRE O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN All things being equal, people will do business with a friend; all things being unequal, people will... MARK MCCORMACK I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN We’ll have to get you a sword,” I said. “When funds allow.” Snorri shook his head. “A... MARK LAWRENCE Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN