I am not, I repeat, NOT a lesbian - even though I'd like to be one when I grow up.

When I grow up I am going to be a ballerina. I will be in Giselle. It will be so much fun being a ballerina.

I am a rubbish flirt.

I'll always be a fat girl and I am happy with that.

In actual life I am a grumpy old bag.

What is it to be normal, at 12, at 78? What is it like when you can't grow up?