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I am myself a failed cartoonist, There are a million reasons to ruin things.


Dave Eggers

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I am myself a failed cartoonist,
DAVE EGGERS If there are a million valid reasons why we should not love, then there are a billion reasons to exp...
MARK LAMBERT I never really thought of myself as an Asian-American cartoonist, any more than I thought of myself ...
ADRIAN TOMINE Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi...
MARIANA FULGER How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS The hippy movement was a failure. All hippies around now just represent complete apathy. There's...
JOE STRUMMER There are a million rules for being a girl. There are a million things you have to do to get through...
ELIZABETH SCOTT But Amy," Elder says. "Space suits!
BETH REVIS Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in ...
SCOTT ADAMS I turned.
Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere...
SARAH J. MAAS Given the current state of publishing, I think it helps to have a brand name on the cover of your bo...
MICHAEL SHOWALTER Take me to the height where success would seek my help to succeed!
I ARE Elder mocked me for praying once, and i spent an hour berating him for that. He ended up throwing up...
BETH REVIS I open my mouth. I want o say: I'm breaking, and i need someone to hold me together.
But no sou...
BETH REVIS Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me.
NICHOLAS SPARKS As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the...
NICHOLAS SPARKS You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on...
HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them.
HARPER LEE Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in ...
DR. ROBERT ANTHONY Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait...The truth is, there are only two things in...
ROBERT ANTHONY Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in...
ROBERT ANTHONY Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait...The truth is, there are only two things i...
ROBERT ANTHONY Yes! you are the ruin--the ruin--the ruin--of me. I have no resources in myself, I have no confidenc...
CHARLES DICKENS I am pretty anal about not crazy Googling myself, and searching. I am sure there are all kinds of ho...
LAUREN BOWLES The question is not... if art is enough to fulfill my life, but if I am true to the path I have set ...
KATHLEEN BATTLE I'm a better editorial cartoonist by default because so many editorial cartoonists out there are...
TED RALL One way or the other, if you want to find reasons why you shouldn't keep on, you'll find 'em. The ob...
BENNY GOODMAN I do not need your sympathy or condolence; if I am an atheist, there are reasons for that and those ...
M.F. MOONZAJER Maybe one day the smears of paint Harley left throughout Godspeed will fade, and maybe the stars nev...
BETH REVIS If you want to be a cartoonist, live the life of a cartoonist.
OLIVER GASPIRTZ A lot of times, I'm singing things that are observational and am definitely including myself.
KACEY MUSGRAVES Lᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ... Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappr...
GAIL CARRIGER What you are, you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself. There are and will be a thous...
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN Grief gives you a hundred reasons to cry; hope gives you a thousand reasons to smile, joy gives you ...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO A Ritual to Read to Each Other


If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD I don't think of myself as an illustrator. I think of myself as a cartoonist. I write the story ...
CHRIS WARE Dave Allen is a great coach. He put some different defenses out there to make us do different things...
GARRY SAUNDERS I am very much in line with my work. Surely, there are things I would want to realize, but for now I...
CARSTEN NICOLAI I wanted to be a cartoonist when I was young.
JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT The story goes as the line follow... alone... loony....
...

That's what's happening....
DEYTH BANGER Save your ass, give my ass.... what a friend you are...
DEYTH BANGER Now Dave Eggers, if you lived in San Francisco, is not an easy person to be done with. Everyone - an...
JAMES BERNARD FROST There are no clear reasons and I am not going to make one up to explain the recent strengthening of ...
LIXION AVILA I am a still friend with Dave Crosby, he's a weird duck but I like him a lot.
PETER TORK One way or the other, if you want to find reasons why you shouldn't keep on, you'll find ...
BENNY GOODMAN It's nearly redundant to enumerate the reasons The Beatles are important. There are probably dif...
TODD RUNDGREN I feel alone.
I don't mean i feel lonely; I mean i feel alone, the same way i feel the blanket ...
BETH REVIS I said..ruin me ,i deserve this cause i am only the reason who gives you these priorities to ruin me...
AJAY KUMAR There are definitely reasons to do certain things, but I like to stick to good director, good actor,...
AMANDA SEYFRIED [There are many other reasons for deciding to use Linux. But as I think about this question, I'm rem...
ROBINSON JEFFERS There are just some kind of men who-who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learn...
HARPER LEE The role of the Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to think of themselve...
LEWIS N. ROE Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It has no power to explain even some of the most basic principl...
LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically...
LEWIS N. ROE A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung...
PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix.
DEYTH BANGER I failed eating, failed drinking, failed not cutting myself into shreds. Failed friendship. Failed s...
LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON For a variety of reasons, I have always felt myself an outsider. I don't know how to classify my...
JAMES HECKMAN I am going to resign. The only way Dave can serve is if I resign, short of confirmation. I would not...
HERB BEHNKE When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w...
A.A. MILNE Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s...
CARTER CROCKER There are lots of things I'm acquainting myself with now to be a more well-rounded person.
IDINA MENZEL You are unique. No other person looks exactly like you
SOTONYE ANGA I have failed many times, and that's why I am a success.
MICHAEL JORDAN Dave really cares about the things I care about.
CHRIS MARTIN There are lots of things I like about playing in a band, the things I can't do by myself you kno...
ELLIOTT SMITH Some people are used to having things done for them by her parents, I am not. I can do it myself.
SALLY PEARSON There are a million 'oughts' in the world. There's a million ways in which I ought to be...
PARKER PALMER There are a lot more important reasons for merging than there are to stay apart. I think it's a good...
KEVIN O'SHEA There are a million things I can think of that I would I want to do. Reporting like you, would be on...
JUSTIN GUARINI We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
BISHOP REGINALD HEBER We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
RUDYARD KIPLING I'm probably a Libertarian, if I had to put myself in any category. But you don't come out a...
GARY OLDMAN I personally have a million things to correct.
TIM SHAW The monster within my closet was merely a part of myself I shunned and failed to acknowledge.
TYLER J. HEBERT I am human like everyone else. I am aware that there are people who look up to me. When mistakes are...
VANESSA HUDGENS You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently.
Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m...
SARAH J. MAAS There is such a choice of difficulties that I am myself at a loss how to determine.
JAMES WOLFE I think I may have failed at a lot of things, but the one thing I can say, and that I'm proud of...
NAVEEN ANDREWS There are a lot of reasons to be motivated.
DREW BREES Words are useless. Use your eyes to say a million things.
GABRIELLA JORDING I'm tired of making people sad and I'm tired of disappointing them and I'm tired of seeing them brea...
JAMES FREY I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody fel...
MATT GROENING There are 200 million cars on the road now. It's important for environmental, national security and ...
JAMES KLIESCH I am a mystery to myself.
ANGELINA GRIMKE If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live wi...
JOAN POWERS Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'
'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh...
A.A. MILNE By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER What we need now are heroes and heroines, about a million of them, one brave deed is worth a thousan...
EDWARD ABBEY I think it's a wise pick. Dave is a Pitt guy. Dave has a commitment to this university. The exciteme...
MIKE DITKA I told (Wang) from the beginning, I'm not a fighter myself, but there are things my body is capable ...
JAIME MORENO This is not, from Union's perspective, a political fight. Sure, there are others who, for various re...
CHRISTOPHER SPENCER I am stable when my private life is a success.
DON JOHNSON I believe one of the most important reasons I am here today is to practice forgiveness and to learn ...
LISA J. SHULTZ A tooth for a tooth, will make the world's inhabitants a people without teeth
SOTONYE ANGA Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY The atheist might have no proof for the supernatural, but they also have no proof against it. If we ...
LEWIS N. ROE

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-Because I want everyone to witness my youth

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DAVE EGGERS We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a...
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DAVE EGGERS It was always difficult to get cattle returned once a marriage was dissolved.
DAVE EGGERS But without William K, I would have forgotten that I had not been born on this journey. That I had l...
DAVE EGGERS The issue is complex, but like many matters in Sudan, it is not as complex as Khartoum would want th...
DAVE EGGERS I often cannot believe the things I do.
DAVE EGGERS But we're no longer rain, I said, we're no longer seeds. We're men. Now we can stand and decide. Thi...
DAVE EGGERS I have had friends who I decided were not good friends, were people who brought more trouble than ha...
DAVE EGGERS In hospitals I feel palpable comfort. I feel the competence, the expertise, so much education and mo...
DAVE EGGERS Hello Frances, I have just been to health class, and I was wondering how your feminine parts were de...
DAVE EGGERS Nothing again. No one is listening. No one is waiting to hear the kicking of a man above. It is unex...
DAVE EGGERS I will tell these stories...because to do anything else would be something less than human. I speak ...
DAVE EGGERS I lost someone very close to me and afterward I believed I could have saved him had I been a better ...
DAVE EGGERS I had forgotten that, and so many things. How could I put everything down on paper? It seemed imposs...
DAVE EGGERS My plans are a jumble for now, but I do know certain things that I will and will not do. [...] I wil...
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DAVE EGGERS Thank you," he says.
"Thank who?"
"I don't know. You?"
"No, not me. Jesus." DAVE EGGERS There are many Saudi women doctors, and there are many wealthy and powerful and well-educated Saudi ...
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DAVE EGGERS You have what I can afford to give. You are a panhandler, begging for anything, and I am the man wal...
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DAVE EGGERS You treat a kid with respect and as an adult you talk to them as if they're smart people. But yo...
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DAVE EGGERS Existing, period – that is what drives men to irrational acts.
DAVE EGGERS I am myself a failed cartoonist,
DAVE EGGERS –Don’t you think the vast majority of the chaos in the world is caused by a relatively small gro...
DAVE EGGERS You will die, and when you die, you will know a profound lack of it [dignity]. It's never dignified,...
DAVE EGGERS I like the dark part of the night, after midnight and before four-thirty, when it's hollow, when cei...
DAVE EGGERS I wondered quickly if I'd give my life so that a dragon could live. If someone offered me that deal,...
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DAVE EGGERS But criticism, for the most part, comes from the opposite place that book-enjoying should come from....
DAVE EGGERS I think almost every writer in the world would hope that books would be always talked about with res...
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DAVE EGGERS How do you know this?
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DAVE EGGERS SECRETS ARE LIES
SHARING IS CARING
PRIVACY IS THEFT
DAVE EGGERS If somebody here isn't tolerant and accepting, we haven't met them yet.
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DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
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DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
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DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
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DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY