I am myself a failed cartoonist,


Dave Eggers

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I am myself a failed cartoonist, There are a million reasons to ruin things.
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DAVE LEGENO
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY
The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART
Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS
Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY
The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN
I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY
I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER
'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS
I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS
I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK
We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY
There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES
...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY
I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY
The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY
It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY
Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY