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I am actually going to two therapists right now. I don't know, I actually feel like therapy has just made me more uncomfortable.


Jesse Eisenberg

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JESSE JACKSON To allow injustice and inequality invites a Ferguson to your community. We must stand together, blac...
JESSE JACKSON For a time, at least, I was the most famous person in the entire world.
JESSE OWENS If you don't try to win you might as well hold the Olympics in somebody's back yard.
JESSE OWENS Life doesn't give you all the practice races you need.
JESSE OWENS A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.
JESSE OWENS The only bond worth anything between human beings is their humanness.
JESSE OWENS Although I wasn't invited to shake hands with Hitler, I wasn't invited to the White House to...
JESSE OWENS I let my feet spend as little time on the ground as possible. From the air, fast down, and from the ...
JESSE OWENS Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust.
JESSE OWENS Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it and you'll start believing in it.
JESSE OWENS Go to the internet and go to the FBI website and go to their international list of top ten terrorist...
JESSE VENTURA You need to hunt something that can shoot back at you to really classify yourself as a hunter. You n...
JESSE VENTURA If this were a video game, you could just break everything in this room and a bunch of money would c...
JESSE ANDREWS And if a jock. God forbid, witnesses you hobnobbing with theater kids, he will immediately assume yo...
JESSE ANDREWS Mom was asking me to resume a friendship that had no honest foundation and ended on screamingly awkw...
JESSE ANDREWS this book probably makes it seem as if I hate myself and everything I do. I mostly just hate every p...
JESSE ANDREWS When girls see two Unattractives dating, they think, 'Hey! Love is possible even for unattractive pe...
JESSE ANDREWS I am the Thomas Edison of conversational stupidity.
JESSE ANDREWS So in order to understand everything that happened, you have to start from the premise that high sch...
JESSE ANDREWS But the hardest is watching your son watching his friend die.
JESSE ANDREWS I mean, you can know someone is dying on an intellectual level, but emotionally it hasn't really hit...
JESSE ANDREWS Theory: People always get fired up when an unattractive girl an unattractive dude are dating each ot...
JESSE ANDREWS And the point of Rachel the Film should really have been to express how awful and shitty that loss w...
JESSE ANDREWS There are two kinds of hot girls: Evil Hot Girls, and Hot Girls Who Are Also Sympathetic Good-Hearte...
JESSE ANDREWS Are you done eating that?"
"What?"
"You shouldn't finish that, Dad's gonna want some." JESSE ANDREWS I might accidentally become like a hermit or a terrorist or something.
JESSE ANDREWS We used to be pretty good friends, but fourteen-year-old girls are psychotic.
JESSE ANDREWS Usually it's when your guard is down that you find yourself saying the most dick sentences of your l...
JESSE ANDREWS Look, I was an idiot. I didn't want people to think that I had a crush, so I decided to give everyon...
JESSE ANDREWS let’s face it: Most girls are annoying. I mean, most humans are annoying, so it’s not specific t...
JESSE ANDREWS I entered Excessive Modesty Mode. Nothing is stupider and more ineffective than Excessive Modesty Mo...
JESSE ANDREWS