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A cup of tea would restore my normality."

[Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Screenpla...
DOUGLAS ADAMS There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.
DOUGLAS ADAMS A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense fr...
DOUGLAS ADAMS So, my argument is that as we become more and more scientifically literate, it
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but that not every one is inhabited. Therefo...
DOUGLAS ADAMS For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been wid...
DOUGLAS ADAMS There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
DOUGLAS ADAMS One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically remove...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
DOUGLAS ADAMS I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
DOUGLAS ADAMS What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to fin...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy , and has a few pips in it, and some folks have...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Come on, insisted Zaphod, I've found a way in.
In? said Arthur in horror.
Into the interior of...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Life is wasted on the living.
DOUGLAS ADAMS People will then often say, But surely it's better to remain an Agnostic just in case?' This, to me,...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction invol...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galax...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong i...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Any belief worth having must survive doubt
DOUGLAS ADAMS I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
DOUGLAS ADAMS There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Univers...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Answer to the Great Question Of . . . Life, the Universe and Everything . . . [is] Forty-two.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to under...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer
DOUGLAS ADAMS Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS We demand guaranteed rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of
DOUGLAS ADAMS Nobleness was one word for making a fuss about the trivial inevitabilities of life, but there were o...
DOUGLAS ADAMS All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported...
DOUGLAS ADAMS This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were un...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear
DOUGLAS ADAMS Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, a...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Power corrupts. Knowledge is power. Study hard. Be evil.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
DOUGLAS ADAMS It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject th...
DOUGLAS ADAMS When you write your first book aged 25 or so, you have 25 years of experience, albeit much of it juv...
DOUGLAS ADAMS There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature. But, more acc...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terr...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Books are sharks... because sharks have been around for a very long time. There were sharks before t...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Ever since Newton, we've done science by taking things apart to see how they work. What the comp...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction i...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairi...
DOUGLAS ADAMS To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underes...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
DOUGLAS ADAMS It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I think you get most of the most interesting work done in fields where people don't think they&#...
DOUGLAS ADAMS We no longer think of chairs as technology; we just think of them as chairs. But there was a time wh...
DOUGLAS ADAMS As a child, I was an active Christian. I used to love the school choir and remember the carol servic...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Zaphod marched quickly down the passageway, nervous as hell, but trying to hide it by striding purpo...
DOUGLAS ADAMS As soon as Mr. Prosser realized that he was substantially the loser after all, it was as if a weight...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I was the only kid who anybody I knew has ever seen actually walk into a lamppost with his eyes wide...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, ar...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy; Ca...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The trouble with most forms of transport, he thought, is basically one of them not being worth all t...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Sunlight played along the River Cam. People in punts happily shouted at each other to fuck off. Thin...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The light was only just visible - except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not t...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He turned slowly like a fridge door opening.
DOUGLAS ADAMS There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Dirk was, for one of the few times in a life of exuberantly prolific loquacity, wordless.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of thin...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He felt like an old sponge steeped in paraffin and left in the sun to dry.
DOUGLAS ADAMS High on a rocky promontory sat an Electric Monk on a bored horse.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The seat received him in a loose and distant kind of way, like an aunt who disapproves of the last f...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Believe me, it is a great deal better to find cast-iron proof that you're innocent than to languish ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS She tried to worry that something terrible had happened to him, but didn't believe it for a moment. ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Gordon Way's astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at wh...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait—' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.
DOUGLAS ADAMS What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain i...
DOUGLAS ADAMS In the great debate that has raged for centuries about what, if anything, happens to you after death...
DOUGLAS ADAMS That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds ea...
DOUGLAS ADAMS If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, woul...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Sir Isaac Newton, renowned inventor of the milled-edge coin and the catflap!"

"The what?"...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I co...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monk...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone.
DOUGLAS ADAMS If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best wa...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable its...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet.
DOUGLAS ADAMS A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the s...
DOUGLAS ADAMS First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with AS...
DOUGLAS ADAMS We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Wandering around the web is like living in a world in which every doorway is actually one of those s...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I taught myself to play the guitar by listening to Paul Simon records, working it out note by note. ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Life? Don't talk to me about life!
DOUGLAS ADAMS The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angr...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
DOUGLAS ADAMS Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Az...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
DOUGLAS ADAMS In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lo...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a dou...
DOUGLAS ADAMS O Deep Thought computer," he said, "the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much......
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Answer to the Great Question Of.....Life, the Universe and Everything.....(is) Forty-two.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.
DOUGLAS ADAMS One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, though...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong i...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sen...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
DOUGLAS ADAMS In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
DOUGLAS ADAMS He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Anything that is in the world when youre born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existenc...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola
DOUGLAS ADAMS Even traveling despondently is better than arriving here.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a...
DOUGLAS ADAMS My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,' h...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Same as you, Arthur. I hitched a ride. After all, with a degree in maths and another in astrophysics...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He actually caught himself saying things like "Yippee," as he pranced ridiculously round the house.
DOUGLAS ADAMS

I am a private detective. I am paid to be inquisitive and presumptuous.

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I am a private detective. I am paid to be inquisitive and presumptuous.

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