Humans are the only animals on earth that have done nothing to improve our planet. We are the only animals that have done nothing to improve the life of another single species on this planet.

Unlike all other animals, humans trade instinct for uncertainty and truth for lies before they can tie their own shoes.

Man is said to be a reasoning animal. I do not know why he has not been defined as an affective or feeling animal. Perhaps that which differentiates him from other animals is feeling rather than reason. More often I have seen a cat reason than laugh or weep. Perhaps it weeps or laughs inwardly — but then perhaps, also inwardly, the crab resolves equations of the second degree.

At least the attorneys got the name of their system right when they called it the Criminal Justice System, because it damn sure isn’t the Victim Justice System.

This God of Abraham has a good job, a very good job indeed, he’s credited by his followers for honey but not gall.

Some humans have said what they find objectionable about me is that I’m intolerant. That pleases me because I try to be as intolerant as those I come in contact with are insecure.