How quickly the gun was pulled, it didn't seem like there was rational thinking there so that's what was very scary.

Our dog kind of got a little jumpy ... and the dogs went to kind of say hello and he swung his stick sort of at my dog.

He had pulled a gun and said, excuse my language here, but said, 'I'll (expletive) shoot her, I'll (expletive) shoot her,' and kept repeating that.

I will never claim to know what you are thinking. I only hope I am on your mind.

the only true way to prove that you have lost your inner child is if you don't laugh when you hear the word "poop".

happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone else can see it but only you can feel the warmth.