Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. . .