Holy swoon-gate!' Elliot exclaims when I finally get to the end of my tale. 'If that's what Brooklyn boys are like I'm emigrating as soon as possible!

For every sad thing you think of, you should think of three happy things to chase it away.

But then I wondered if sometimes our friendships are a bit like clothes and when they start feeling uncomfortable it's not because we've done anything wrong. It just means that we've outgrown them.

What went down well?" Mum asks, coming back to the table.
"Nothing," I say.
"The Titanic," Elliot says.

For the doubters out there, of course I was going to have help from Penguin's editorial team in telling my story, which I talked about from the beginning.

I'm a total people pleaser.