He'd told her they would fight their way out. Knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. She would fight for him, but she could not heal him. She would not waste her life trying.

She smiled then, her cheeks red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It was a smile he thought he might die to earn again.

She would have her ship and he would have his city.

Thoughts of moonlight and silken hair evaporated in a black bolt of fury. Kaz saw Inej tug on the sleeve of her left forearm, where the Menagerie tattoo had once been. He had the barest inkling of what she'd endured there, but he knew what it was to feel helpless, and Van Eck had managed to make her feel that way again. Kaz was going to have to find a new language of suffering to teach that smug merch son of a bitch.

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn't look at her. "Stay", he said, his voice rough stone. "Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me." She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she'd been through. "What would be the point?"
He took a breath. "I want you to stay. I want you to... I want you".
"You want me." She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. "And how will you have me, Kaz?"
He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.
"How will you have me?" she repeated. "Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?"
He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

I don't want your prayers, he said.
What do you want, then?
The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie's voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You.