He has so often told me he is madly in love with me, but what does that mean when I haven't had a good word from him in three months?

I sat with him for three hours and we did not exchange a single word. At the end he handed me, as he had done before, an envelope with money in it. It would have been much nicer if he had enclosed a greeting or a loving word. I would have been so pleased if he had.

Why doesn't that Devil take me with him? It would be much better with him than it is here.

When he says he loves me, it only means he loves me at that particular instant. Like his promises, which he never keeps. Why does he torment me like this, when he could finish it off at once?

I am racking my brains to find out why he left without saying goodby to me.

God, I am afraid he won't give me his answer today. If only somebody would help me - it is all so terribly depressing.