He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner

They make things up. They ad-lib.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will.

I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.